Am not happy!!!

Independent Schools as an alternative to Grammar

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chardom
Posts: 92
Joined: Mon Mar 16, 2009 9:29 pm
Location: the seaside

Am not happy!!!

Post by chardom »

It's my DS's birthday this weekend and we have some activities planned eg a sleepover with friends and a visit to a big football match which he has been looking forward to for days. However his school has a cricket match tomorrow which clashes with the footie and DS told the team coach earlier this week that he was unable to play tomorrow. This afternoon at practice though, the coach/teacher asked DS if he was on a scholarship. When DS replied that he was, teacher said he would be sent to the head and possibly lose his hard-earned scholarship if he didn't play tomorrow afternoon! :cry: This has upset DS and made me angry :evil: as I feel the teacher had no right to say this to him. I have phoned school and asked to speak to the teacher but he wasn't available and as yet hasn't returned my call. I have told DS we are carrying on with our birthday plans as planned (and paid for!!) and have told DS not to worry about it. However, I am hopping mad and would be interested to know if anyone else has come across this?
sherry_d
Posts: 2083
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2009 4:38 pm
Location: Maidstone

Post by sherry_d »

That so mean to say that. It seems like hanging yourself then getting a scholarship. Surely they should have some exceptions or at least have a polite was of dealing with it. I dont know how this should get handled but thats so appauling and I too would be angry. So are you sending him to the match? I dont know what others may say but maybe just send him and arrange birthday later and raise the issue with the school or whoever to let them you're unhappy with how they delt with it and hopefully you get more clarification. I know in most sport/music scholarship they expect you to take part in school activities but this is some exception and where is the pastoral care?
Impossible is Nothing.
katel
Posts: 960
Joined: Thu Jan 11, 2007 11:30 pm

Post by katel »

All depends what the terms of his scholarship are.
KB
Posts: 3030
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:28 pm

Post by KB »

The terms of the scholarship probably say something about participating as required in school activities - comitment to sports fixtures etc. However most schools are reasonable about it and if its not a major fixture & the school are given notice then they would be fine about it .

It seems that the teacher has been unreasonable in two ways:
waiting until today to speak to your son
speaking in such a threatening manner

I would contact the Headmaster directly. Rather than making an outright complaint about the teacher I would couch it it terms of how worried you are about what was said regarding thge scholarship but that it was too late in the day to change your plans... That way you head off any action being taken without your knowledge & bring the behaviour of the teacher to the notice of the Head without appearing adversarial. Hopefully he will have a quiet word with the teacher and you can clarify the situation regarding attendence at sports fixtures so everyone knows where they stand.

DSs school have a fixture list available on-line each term so parents can check dates of matches in advance - maybe you could ask whether this is provided (or sent home in paper form) so you can avoid future clashes/ provide early written notification to the school of any unaviodable clashes in the future.

Not suggesting that you or your DS are at fault - but taking a conciliatory approach & suggesting positive steps will probably be more productive than getting cross (which I would be quite tempted by given the way Ds was treated!)

I hope it doesn't spoil the weekend of treats :)
hermanmunster
Posts: 12815
Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:51 am
Location: The Seaside

Post by hermanmunster »

Have come across some not very generous scholarships with quite stringent requirments of the kids
T.i.p.s.y

Post by T.i.p.s.y »

The teachers comments were totally unacceptable however how much notice did you give and did you write and ask permission? Even for a child not on a scholarship most school contracts are very clear that all matches must be attended. Even asking permission does not always result in absence being allowed. I'm sure that as you were unaware of this they will let you off this time but be aware that in future you just can't plan any Saturdays! :roll:

I would also ask to speak to the Head for clarity on the scholarship and ask for members of staff not to discuss your son's scholarship with him as you feel it inappropriate.
Loopyloulou
Posts: 878
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2008 5:20 pm

Post by Loopyloulou »

I'd say if it was a sports scholarship then fair enough, the school is paying a lot for your son's sporting services. If academic or music, then I'd say it's not on.
Loopy
guest43
Posts: 237
Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 5:06 pm

Post by guest43 »

At my DD school it is made clear in the admission documents that Saturday is technically regarded as a school day and therefore participation at weekend sporting events (except for dire emergencies) is not optional but an integral part of the school curriculum.

Before you get all excited at the school I would check the small print of the school admission documents to which you have legally agreed. Ours say this:

School Hours

The School hours are from 8.30 a.m. to 3.50 p.m. in Senior School, 8.40 a.m. – 3.40 p.m. in Junior Prep and 9.00 a.m. – 3.15 p.m. in Pre-Prep and Little School. However, pupils are expected to be in School before this time as registration is taken at the start of the school day. Hours can be varied to take account of additional School activities. Saturday is considered to be a School day for the purpose of games and other extra-curricular commitments, and from time to time pupils may be required to attend for other specific purposes.
Ed's mum
Posts: 3310
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 11:47 am
Location: Warwickshire.

Post by Ed's mum »

It will be interesting to see what Chardom did.
I hope everything worked out well this weekend for you Chardom...
T.i.p.s.y

Post by T.i.p.s.y »

To expand slightly on what G43 wrote, our school has 2-3 compulsory Sunday services that the pupils must attend.

Would love to hear how you got on and if DS had a good birthday.
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