Help my DD is flagging

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catriona s
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Jun 13, 2010 8:54 pm

Help my DD is flagging

Post by catriona s »

Hi
I am, for my sins tutoring my DD in year 5 to sit a nvr/vr selective test for our local comprehesnive , that we are out of the catchment area for. I have been tutoring her( following the advice of a local tutor) for on average 45mins nvr on Saturdays and 45mins vr on Sundays.We started in January 2010 and her exam in in early November 2010. We also play word games, brain train etc. We also do fun things together too. We've been to Cyprus during half term.She has financial rewards and incentives such as days out.

She says she is getting to the stage where she wants to give up. So I need some advice on how to keep her motivated.
I am also becoming disponded any advice would be greatfully received .
Thanks
Catriona S
Amber
Posts: 8058
Joined: Thu Sep 24, 2009 11:59 am

Re: Help my DD is flagging

Post by Amber »

I wonder where you are, that you need to tutor to get a child into a comprehensive school? You say 'our local comprehensive' but then say you are out of catchment - so you have to sit a test for your local school? I have never heard of this, unless it is one where they are allowed to select a certain percentage - this is usually on something specific like language aptitude rather than general IQ. Round here we do have one school which has something called a 'fair banding test' which contrary to local popular opinion is not a method of selection but way of ensuring that the school is truly comprehensive, ie taking the full range of ability.

I am not surprised your daughter is fed up: if this were me (and yes, I know, we're all different) I would stop completely for 2 weeks and say nothing. Then try and have a grown up chat about what you were aiming at with the tutoring, whether she sees the value in continuing, whether she wants to go to the school etc. You should be able to get a sensible chat with a Year 5 child (enjoy it - those hormones kick in all too soon) and reach a deal.
Just1-2go
Posts: 523
Joined: Wed Apr 01, 2009 4:43 pm
Location: Twells

Re: Help my DD is flagging

Post by Just1-2go »

I'm with you Amber, a lttle confused why you need to tutor for a VR/NVR comprehensive school but would definitely give up for a couple of weeks, you have until november and the weather being as it is isn't really ideal for any of us to be working!
sherry_d
Posts: 2083
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2009 4:38 pm
Location: Maidstone

Re: Help my DD is flagging

Post by sherry_d »

There are some comprehensives like St Michaels, DAO and Watford grammar which do tests. Not sure why they are called comprehensives yet they still do test like grammars :o

Catriona do you know why she is giving up? Is it she is not getting it or she just doesnt feel its worth her effort. I have to say NVR and VR can be the most repetetive and boring subjects and the last 3 weeks I have stopped completely doing them and will resume them this week. Have you been to see the school with her? mine was moarning a LOT but when she saw the school she fell in love with her attitude to work changed. The only downside is she may not like the school like you do and it becomes a much harder sell but still just let her know and understand why you think the school will be good for her.

I am DIYing my DD too and I found this article useful too http://www.trans4mind.com/life-coach/li ... ews6.shtml
I sympathise with you, its hard self tutoring because we have to take many roles and motivating them is just one important thing that no one tells you about :(
Impossible is Nothing.
catriona s
Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Jun 13, 2010 8:54 pm

Re: Help my DD is flagging

Post by catriona s »

Hi
thanks for the replies I've rec'd so far.
Just to fill you in....
I live in the London Borough of Sutton, but do not want DD to go to grammar school .The school she wants to go to is Greenshaw who a test for a limited amount of places. We do not live near enough to the school to get an automatic (if there is such a thing) place.
We have visited Greenshaw and she definately wants to go there. We will be revisting the school in September 2010 during there open evening.

Catriona S
mad?
Posts: 5621
Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 6:27 pm
Location: london

Re: Help my DD is flagging

Post by mad? »

I'm with Amber on this one...plus it is SO HOT I can't even bear to be in the same room as anyoewn else let alone try to get them to do something :lol:
By all means use the advice on Sherry_d's link but be prepared IMO, to 'grow' (to use their terminology) and obnoxious, self centred needy brat with the communication skills of a fried banana. :shock:
mad?
sherry_d
Posts: 2083
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2009 4:38 pm
Location: Maidstone

Re: Help my DD is flagging

Post by sherry_d »

mad? wrote:By all means use the advice on Sherry_d's link but be prepared IMO, to 'grow' (to use their terminology) and obnoxious, self centred needy brat with the communication skills of a fried banana. :shock:
Mad? that is so :evil:
Impossible is Nothing.
mystery
Posts: 8927
Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 10:56 pm

Re: Help my DD is flagging

Post by mystery »

Oh I don't know, good advice I'm sure from everyone above, but whether it is right for you and your daughter, I don't know.

Do you know why she objects so much to 1.5 hours at the weekend? It's not that much, is it too tedious, too difficult, wrong time of day?
jingle
Posts: 290
Joined: Mon Oct 05, 2009 2:35 pm
Location: kent

Re: Help my DD is flagging

Post by jingle »

My son did this also, although he never did a great deal anyway and does not fit into 'timetables' which were (to his mind) dull and too rigid. We went with the flow, had a break from everything for a while and lost the 'routine' to try and freshen things up a bit. Is she finding it hard or maybe she is bored? Can you try a different approach or perhaps leave weekends free for a bit so she at least gets some clear days off.
Just some suggestions that worked for us. Good luck with it!
doodles
Posts: 8300
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:19 pm

Re: Help my DD is flagging

Post by doodles »

Hi Catriona - I too would completely give up for a couple of weeks and let her enjoy the end of term and chill for a while. Did this with DS1 last summer (he sat Kent test in Sept). He broke up beginning of July and we did nothing (except go on holiday for a week) for the first two/three weeks. Treated him like an adult and told him what we were doing - then when we came back to it went at it for 1 hour per day. Also did any work very first thing in the morning so it was out of the way for the rest of the day and he could be "normal" for the rest of the day.
Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad !
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