Feeling very unhappy about DS going to France

[Waiting_For_Godot]

I don't think I really thought this through and I now feel very uneasy at the prospect of DS going away for 3 whole months. DS is also now feeling very apprehensive eventhough he initially wanted to go but I have not let on how I feel. Here are my main issues:

When we signed up and paid (it's a lot so no backing out, says OH!) we did not realise that we could not see him for half term. We are going over in early Feb and early March for 3 days but that's it. He is going on a compulsory ski trip during half term.

I never considered the implications of his younger brother not seeing his brother for 3 months as he cannot come out to France with us so I am now very worried about younger brother too.

I am really worried that he will come home after 3 months and be quite distant with us or he will feel strange or he may view us as strangers. I might sound silly but I have got so worked up (probably why I've been sick) that I am beginning to believe my thoughts.

When we visit him it may make him more homesick, especially when we leave again.


The best thing would be honest replies or experiences of how a 12 year old has coped being away from home for 3 months.

[yogkruti]

er 3 months?... for what?! did you mean 3 weeks? (or is it 3 days!)

[hermanmunster]

no - she means 3 months, effort to learn french, I think the whole class is going (or quite a few) - it has been discussed before.

WFG - just because something costs a lot doesn't mean you have to go through with it. FWIW I am sure he will be fine but don't let money come into it.

[pheasantchick]

Can you speak to other parents, children or teachers who have gone through the experience? They may be able to reassure you.

[Looking for help]

He's been at boarding school, has he not? He will be fine then, as he is used to being away from home. It's you that will have the problem

I agree with Herman, if you and he don't want this to happen, then it doesn't matter what the cost, it is not worth letting him go if he will just be miserable all the time. I expect he won't though, he will have a great time.

[moved]

Let him go. He'll have a great time and his French will improve. Your boys are used to being away from home. Mine aren't and I would send them if I had this opportunity.

Personellement, j'adore La France et je devrais êtra là, mais la voiture et en panne et nous y partirons aujourd'hui en train.

[hermanmunster]

Sorry to hear about the car, moved. I love the train to france. I am on a train too - ahem to meadowhall via Barnsley - sorry Barnsley, would prefer France

[Waiting_For_Godot]

I have spoken to parents who say the kids love it but I never thought about how it might affect DS2 (or me ) or if it could affect DS1's relationship with us. I just have a feeling of foreboding which I can't shake off, but I acknowledge it makes no sense. My previous thread was about how much French would he learn and at the time I was excited for DS.

Of course if DS was miserable then we would bring him back but the consequences of pulling him out before he goes would be more than monetary and could cause tension between three schools (long story). But the cost is substantial and it's not just up to me to make such a decision but OH who is forking out for it.

DS has been to boarding school but he comes home every weekend, has a half term and 8 other holiday days a term too. He also does not know anyone so the set up is different.

Moved - you love France, the car is a pain but you party on the train? I only speak German (badly)!

[Snowdrops]

I think you should let him go.

Of course you're apprehensive, it's a big thing. He is too, but for other reasons.

3 months will fly by in no time at all and instead of looking at the doom and gloom side, think of the positives. He won't be distant from you. He'll have missed you soooooo much (but not that much ) he'll appreciate you all the more and be glad to be back home. His french will have improved. You will spend quality time with DS2, getting to spend one-on-one time with him for a change, which he'll love!

If you don't let him go, you both may regret it. It's a life experience and one not to be missed!

[KS10]

I would imagine it is harder for the parents as we worry about things our kids wouldn't even think of. I'm terrible when the kids go to their grandparents' place - I fuss and worry about clothes, hygiene, you name it - and they absolutely love going there. Your DS is understandably apprehensive as 3 months is a long time for a 12 year old, but I'm sure he will adjust very quickly.
Pheasantchick's suggestion is a very good one.