Chinese parenting

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um
Posts: 2378
Joined: Sat May 30, 2009 1:06 pm
Location: Birmingham

Chinese parenting

Post by um »

I just came across this article and am feeling somewhat traumatised... I did wonder at first if it was some sort of spoof or joke (particularly the recount of how the mother is treating her 7 year old).
Maybe this puts debates about homework/exam practice things into perspective...

I feel like a really nice parent now, one of those "You are wonderful whatever you do" types - should we be hardening up on the kids?

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB1000142 ... na+parents" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
yogkruti
Posts: 267
Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2010 6:06 pm

Re: Chinese parenting

Post by yogkruti »

wow! I'm feeling like an angel...

Will take a printout of this and show it to my DC... :twisted:

About time I got some appreciation!
pheasantchick
Posts: 2439
Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 10:28 pm

Re: Chinese parenting

Post by pheasantchick »

Now I feel like a completely, lazy mother. But not everyone can be first in the class. Or be classical pianists. Or get straight A's all the time. I'm definitely a Western Mum. Has anyone actually asked the children what they feel like, or is there such peer pressure amonst parent to achieve via thier children.

Time to arrange the next sleepover...!
mike1880
Posts: 2563
Joined: Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:51 pm

Re: Chinese parenting

Post by mike1880 »

Oh dear, this is such bad timing.

We used to have a daughter who did all this stuff off her own bat and still found time for sleepovers, computer games etc., but has turned in recent weeks into prematurely teenaged, hoodie-wearing, unmotivated slacker from h*ll. I am SO tempted to print this out, take it home and start applying it...

Mike
um
Posts: 2378
Joined: Sat May 30, 2009 1:06 pm
Location: Birmingham

Re: Chinese parenting

Post by um »

I did find it interesting that the writer suggested that 'Western' parents would blame the child's school, teacher, syllabus, resources, etc if they were not doing well, but that Chinese parents would place the 'blame' firmly on the child and insist that they work harder.

There is NO WAY I am going to the extreme of the writer - but perhaps we should encourage children to shoulder responsibility more? Mt ds2 has a sort of victim mentality - if he didn't do well in an exercise/homework etc he has a host of things to blame it on - the homework being 'wrong', lightbulb being dim, the baby crying, the smell of cooking...you name it.
In contrast, ds1 would sit and complete his practice work with a toddler biting his knees, the neighbour fixing his roof and a baby screaming in his ear, and would not be phased!
la boume
Posts: 287
Joined: Fri Jun 25, 2010 7:33 pm

Re: Chinese parenting

Post by la boume »

I am not impressed, but disgusted. Back to the dark ages...
doodles
Posts: 8300
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:19 pm

Re: Chinese parenting

Post by doodles »

Found the whole article very sad. There seems so little room for enjoying one's children and having fun as a family.
Gorgeous
Posts: 83
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2011 1:56 pm

Re: Chinese parenting

Post by Gorgeous »

Maybe that's why Vanessa Mae doesn't want to have a relationship with her mother.
Gorgeous
Posts: 83
Joined: Fri Jan 07, 2011 1:56 pm

Re: Chinese parenting

Post by Gorgeous »

Would also like to add that my DC also love it when they 'get' a piano piece and they too enjoy playing their pieces more once they've 'got it' but they didn't have to suffer the pain to gain the pleasure!
Waiting_For_Godot
Posts: 1446
Joined: Thu Aug 19, 2010 1:57 pm

Re: Chinese parenting

Post by Waiting_For_Godot »

Mmmmm, firstly I wonder what is the point in all these children being forced to learn the piano and violin and it really is a cliche. How many of them actually use it in later life? :?

That's not to say that learning an instrument is not beneficial as DS2 studies 4 including his voice. I doubt he'll ever be a professional musician but he loves music, for now. In saying all that I am the type of mother that makes sure my child studies an instrument for a minimum of six months before they decide to give it up. Once they have commited (not necessarily by six months) and get their own instrument it is on the understanding that they then learn the instrument for the duration of prep school so around four/five years. I don't care if they get to grade 1 or grade 8 on it but I am not spending hundreds or, in DS2's case, thousands of pounds on an instrument for my child to give it up because they are bored with it.
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