No idea about university life - please help

Discussion and advice on University Education

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Fatandfifty
Posts: 78
Joined: Fri Aug 10, 2007 11:55 pm

No idea about university life - please help

Post by Fatandfifty »

DD has offers to go to uni. Husband and I have no idea about the uni life.

Questions

Do we have to buy a trunk?
Do we take DD to uni and collect her at the end of the year? Does she hire the room for the first year enabling her to leave 'her stuff' there and then take the train home at Christmas and Easter with a holdall?
A lot of my friends seem to be up and down the motorway 6 times a year, my husband is anti that and says trunk goes on the train and we see her later in the year. He says we are becoming a nation of helicopter parents and that they are adults and shouldn't be interfering.

I want to do the right thing, keeping husband happy but also not 'dumping' DD or embaressing her with turning up with a trunk that to me seems very archiac.

Anxious.
pheasantchick
Posts: 2439
Joined: Tue Jun 02, 2009 10:28 pm

Re: No idea about university life - please help

Post by pheasantchick »

When I went to uni in the 80's, I don't remember anyone with trunks. People packed their clothes etc in boxes and suitcases.

Most unis have halls where first years live. Different places have different arrangements for leaving stuff during the holidays as sometimes the halls are used as accomodation for tourists, conferences during the holidays etc. However, often storage facitilites are available.

How often your DD comes home, and whether you pick them up or they travel by train or coach depends on all parties concerened. ie. what they have to bring home, whats conveniant, how independent they are etc.

They say that letting them go is harder then bringing them into the world so you are bound to be anxious. Its part of being a parent.
hermanmunster
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Location: The Seaside

Re: No idea about university life - please help

Post by hermanmunster »

Many universities (particularly in the towns / cities who lots of visitors) use the university accommodation for visitors / conferences / courses during the xmas / easter and summer holidays - so you are in Uni halls / college etc you have to clear the room at the end of each term. When I was in London we did use trunks / large cases which were stored in the basement (full of stuff) during the shorter holidays.

You used to be able to get the trunks transported by road v cheap if a student ( had to give the delivery company a window or a few days so it was sent early and was waiting at Hall of residence) TBH I am sure most would use suitcases these days and we have actually dumped our trunk which was going rusty..
yoyo123
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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 3:32 pm
Location: East Kent

Re: No idea about university life - please help

Post by yoyo123 »

We took our daughter by car when she started at uni, accompanied by a zillion boxes and bin liners. She was in halls for the first year and came home every so often by train. We collected all her belongings at the end of the the year again by car.

It will depend on the university whether or not she has to clear room at end of terms so that room can be cleared for conference accommodation etc. My husband said that when he was at Edinburgh they did have a secure locker to keep some things in over the holidays.
Marylou
Posts: 2164
Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2006 2:21 am

Re: No idea about university life - please help

Post by Marylou »

As a student, I had a trunk sent all the way to Austria! :shock: I was travelling with it by train so not as costly as expected. It turned out to be very useful by doubling up as a coffee table. :D

In the UK though, it seems quite reasonable for parents to take and collect the student at the beginning and end of each academic year if the family has a car and is able to do so, with everything and the kitchen sink transported in boxes, bags and suitcases. That was normal practice in my generation, and there was certainly nothing remotely helicopterish about my family! What happens regarding the other vacations depends very much on the distance between university and home, and whether facilities are available for storing stuff during the vacations.

It's worth finding out whether there is anyone else going to the same university from your area, so that lift-sharing is an option in the future (we did a lot of that, too!)
Marylou
hermanmunster
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Location: The Seaside

Re: No idea about university life - please help

Post by hermanmunster »

some friends had to collect their son before xmas hols - rooms needed to be cleared by 1100 on the saturday (quite tight time if you live any distance) ... and fine if the DC hasn't been at a really good party the night before.....!!!!

edit found a quote from one of the colleges:
What happens to my personal possessions during vacation?

The College has trunk rooms available for the Christmas and Easter vacations. Because it is unable to know what is in these rooms and because many students are able to come and go into these trunk rooms, all such belongings are left entirely at the student's own risk: the College is unable to take any responsibility whatsoever for belongings left in trunk rooms. All students (except international students) must take their belongings home over the summer.
Belinda
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2007 10:57 pm

Re: No idea about university life - please help

Post by Belinda »

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Last edited by Belinda on Thu Nov 01, 2012 11:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
mystery
Posts: 8927
Joined: Tue Jul 21, 2009 10:56 pm

Re: No idea about university life - please help

Post by mystery »

I used to empty my room completely at the end of each term. Some could be left in a college luggage store (Oxbridge College, so not typical of halls of residence which I do not think have any space anywhere), the majority I took home on the train or coach. The train was tricky as I sat with my luggage in the corridor after one time my suitcase was dragged into the toilet and searched for, and the coach was hard work as they threatened to throw you off each stop if they had not luggage space as you were only entitled to two pieces of luggage. My parents visited mid-term instead.

It's courses for horses. I think every family does it differently. Certainly think it is good experience to get child finding out how to get lowest price coach and train fares. Certainly there seems to be a trend for more parents doing loads of driving them there and back. If it were me, I'd rather do the drive mid-term and see them properly than take them down and lift all their clutter into the room and then say goodbye as there are better things for a student to do than waste time seeing parents at the start of term.
C. J.
Posts: 87
Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2008 5:06 pm
Location: West Watford

Re: No idea about university life - please help

Post by C. J. »

My daughter is currently using the trunk that I also used at uni (heaven knows where it came from before that, it certainly wasn't new). I drove her up with it at the beginning of her first year, collected it in summer and up again at the start of this year. The advantages of it included: although it takes two to carry it, it does hold more than two suitcases worth of stuff, it doubled as an extra seat, it only counts as one item if being stored over a holiday. I wouldn't have gone out and bought one (but then I don't buy much at all, at least new), but if you've got one your DD may too end up the envy of her friends.
supermummy
Posts: 69
Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 10:54 pm
Location: kingston upon thames

Re: No idea about university life - please help

Post by supermummy »

I think you are right to check. My parents were from the trunk to uni brigade and thought nothing of packing me off on the train and see you at Christmas (this was in the mid 1990s). But...

.. luckily my mother's friend convinced her that this was not appropriate having taken her daughter a couple of years before. Yes it does depend on where you are going but most parents within reasonable distance ( and this usually means the mainland) will drop off their DCs in the car. My mother was shocked at how much other parents brought from pot plants to curtains even in catered halls and suddenly realised how much things had changed - this is not Brideshead.

On a larger point I would support your DD in the first instance and take her there. She will after all be leaving home at this point and has plenty of time to make it on her own. Uni can be overwhelming especially in the first few weeks and a bit of support in the early days does not equate to a lifetime of dependence.

Plus - loose the trunk unless it is fashionable - students can be harsh.
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