Dignity. Your views?

[Ed's mum]

I have been pondering the concept of 'dignity' for a couple of days. Since I watched some tragic footage on television of a Japanese mother, live on television, discovering that her child was dead. The accompanying voice-over praised her dignity.

I have no wish to debate whether her grief should be aired for all to see, or to discuss the Japanese situation; which I think we would all agree has been catastrophic. I am wondering what makes behaving with dignity a virtue? Is it because it stops onlookers from feeling quite so uncomfortable? Is it because showing emotion is seen to be inappropriate in some way? Is it to do with some sort of code of conduct encouraged by particular groups of people...I'm thinking maybe a religious code of conduct...I just don't know but would love to understand.

[Ed's mum]

http://wiki.answers.com/Q/10_reasons_wh ... _important" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Interesting.

[hermanmunster]

Very much varies around the world I think - some populations start wailing at such a point and many of the family join in, it is expected and the people who feel uncomfortable are the "outsiders". specifically I remember people being in hospital in London - often the popualtions of North London , also many from abroad, but if someone died there was much noise - many of the english finded it odd and sometimes embarassing but they never did as it was their culture. Only problem was some of the other patients / visitors found it difficult to cope with

[scarlett]

It does vary ! compare the japanese who are grieving over their own family members to the outpouring of emotion when Princess Diana died.....maybe some groups of people are encouraged from an early age to express what they feel even if it does make others uncomfortable whereas others will keep it to themselves or share with one close person...maybe it is a religious code,will people express their pain through prayers instead, maybe ?

[Looking for help]

I'm not sure I would equate dignity entirely with showing no emotion, I think it is more that a person is deserving of respect innately, and behaving with dignity is to be deserving of respect. It can have a religious perspective but it is not necessarily religious. I think the Japanese people have shown great dignity in dealing with their situation. I saw it when watching tv and seeing a young man going to a shelter to seek news of his wife who had been swept away, turning up every day to see if her name was on the list of the dead or the list of the living, looking after his two young children, hoping and praying. I saw it watching others in another shelter queueing quietly for food, patiently waiting their turn in line. No scrambling and pushing, and surely they must be so desperate. But that may just be a culture thing.

Lack of dignity is when you your actions cause you to gain no respect from others, for example falling over drunk in the street and being caught on CCTV and shown on TV in a show about binge drinking.

[Clare]

From a psychological point of view I would have thought it would be better to express your feelings than bottle them up.

[Ed's mum]

Yes I agree with the previous comment.

I am not trying to equate lack of emotion with dignity, but wondering why not expressing something can be seen as dignified. Why is it seen as 'a good thing'?

[scarlett]

I think you might need to ask one of those life coaches celebrities seem to favour !

I suppose we feel it is undignified to display emotion because we see it as a lack of self control , irrational behaviour almost and it makes us feel uncomfortable with something that is private, I suppose.That's why it is seen as " a good thing " to maintain a " dignified silence ", to have the ability to rein ourselves in.

However, Madeleine Mcanns mother was critisised for showing incredible poise and dignity.

[Waiting_For_Godot]

I'm not sure what dignity has to do with religion. Surely everyone, religious or not has the capacity to act with dignity and I can see no evidence why dignity would be founded in religion, after all dignity is a subjective perception. I may find a person acted with dignity and another person may felt they acted in a crass manner. I also think the wiki answers site's answers are pretty basic and err on the ridiculous.

The media like to try and put ideas into our heads with such comments but they would have said how heartbreaking it was to see the poor mother if she disintegrated in front of them and that would have been acceptable in their eyes too. The poor woman was in shock and reacting in the only way she knew how at that particular moment. As far as I'm concerned any reaction would have been acceptable and understandable.

In saying that there are areas where I feel one should act dignified. When being fired or getting into a dispute (or not) with a neighbour. Dignity can have connetations of pride and arrogance depending on the situation.