So anyway, as I was saying...

[CoolMum5]

Thanks Chelmsfordmum! I think your comments are spot on, by the way. I'd like to add that we were absolutely thrilled that DS did so well that we were left with choice but I'd like to point out that this was earned by sheer hard work and diligence and I make no apologies for being absolutely delighted with my son. However, I have not said one word at the school gates, neither has DS - so the only people who know are you lot , close family and friends (who were interested enough to ask). So I think we've been ultra sensitive to the feelings of other parents and DCs.

[CoolMum5]

I don't see why the previous topic got locked Perhaps I'm not good at into things - what a wally. Anyway, I do hope that people can continue to debate their views with due respect to the rules of etiquette of this site.

[Chelmsford mum]

Okay.....great
Just for the record WFG is very sweet and I didn't think any thread started in the last 48 hours was insensitive - I was just saying that in the past, this is what has cause a lot of bad feeling.I take your point about the effort you put in to and certainly would say the same of my own family.

I could say that some people work hard all their lives, are dilligent and still are left with no choices....but I won't

Seriously- high five to Coolmum5

[Chelmsford mum]

Perhaps I'm not good at into things - what a wally.

Not at all a wally - well no more than me anyway.

[CoolMum5]

I like WFG, who makes me lol - a lot, so no need to defend! Also, just FYI we are amongst those people who are hard-working and diligent. Our son wanted to try for the grammars and indies and we supported his decision. Do you know how hard it is watching a very little boy of ten prepare himself for these difficult examinations knowing that unless he wins a substantial financial award that his parents cannot afford to send him to the school he's been dreaming of? I knew that my DS would get offers from any school he sat for - but I was terrified at the prospect of having to say, 'well, you got in, but we cannot afford the fees...' Our son worked hard, all the while knowing that it may lead to nothing, and I will always admire him for this. The fact he got amazing offers from the two indies of his choice makes my chest swell with pride - my little man has earned his way to an independent education and I think that is fantastic! This is also the reason that I said it's important not to criticize (or seem to be criticising) the choices of others. You just don't know what it's taken for people to get there...

[catonhottinroof]

Ditto - and, like you, have been punching the air of late, albeit in my kitchen rather than at school gates. Yes, DS rocked the exams. Yes, we had a (very good) choice to make. Yes, he deserved everything he got. Yes, I am no longer on verge of nervous breakdown!

[yoyo123]

I don't see why the previous topic got locked Perhaps I'm not good at into things - what a wally. Anyway, I do hope that people can continue to debate their views with due respect to the rules of etiquette of this site.

I locked it because in my opinion as a moderator the posts were beginning to infringe the rules of forum etiquette , especially the bit about respecting the views of others.

As with the previous thread I had asked that the topic moved on from the inde/state argument. AS with the previous time it did not and people were returning to put in their 2 pennorth.

I hope that this thread will continue as reasoned debate.

[Chelmsford mum]

WFG makes everyone lol.

I do know what it is like to watch a child strive for an exam and live with the fear of not getting in.In fact , with one of ours, she had to really live though that reality, even when her sister had already gained a place.It is a terribly hard process.Happily she was just a whisker away from getting in and got in on the waiting list a couple of weeks later.
I think the whole process of selective schooling is desperately hard on those who don't have a happy outcome.When you look at some of the grammars in some areas , you have a 1 in 10 chance of success.I just think that for those who know that their child is bright enough and who put all the work into trying to gain admission, it is heartbreaking seeing them excluded through lack of places rather than lack of selectability.
This grief is compounded when other choices are just not there for them.

There have been posters on here who take the opportunity in congratulating someone, to also knock the state system when for many, it is the only choice they have. I am not referring to anyone in these recent threads,I was just trying to explain why these threads quickly polarise people.
Happily this thread is not one of those.

[Waiting_For_Godot]

Awe shucks Coolmum. Your son sounds amazing - brains and drive. I got the former and would have prefered the latter! Well done to Cat's son too.

[Chelmsford mum]

- brains and drive. I got the former and would have prefered the latter!

Is this yourself you are referring to.........