If they don't want to should it not be pursued....

[countrymum]

Hi....popping on for some advice. DD in year 4, working a couple of levels ahead and has been on the YGAT register since yr 1 ( though never been to any day events or anything ) Super report from her teachers, and I would like her to just think about taking the 11+ She has never had any tutoring, and I guess would say is naturally keen and eager to learn, however I am not naive in that she may need top up tutoring nearer the time. Anyway, whereas I am thinking she may benefit from going to the G school, she wants to go where her mates are going and just wondered how to make it all sound a little more appealing to her. I cannot force her to take the exam can I, at the moment we are just thinking about it, though when does one actually set the wheels in motion in all this. Is it sometime in yr 5. Also how long are most children tutored ( if they are ) before the actual exam. When I bring it up, she wants to quickly change the subject, blah blah....I do think looking round the school would help perhaps.
Thanks

[hermanmunster]

parents have to lay the groundwork very early on.... assume that she will want to be taking the exam, encourage her to aspire to such an education - telll her that a GS may well be the right sort of place for her etc etc

[countrymum]

parents have to lay the groundwork very early on.... assume that she will want to be taking the exam, encourage her to aspire to such an education - telll her that a GS may well be the right sort of place for her etc etc

Thanks, I agree with you 100% . I am what one may call quite a laid back mum, though am chuffed DD seems, thus far to have just sailed through her education, she writes stories like you wouldn't believe and reads all the time, in the car, at home....everywhere, she is a like a sponge soaking everything up. And socially very mature for her age. I can see how the the GS education would benefit her, and tell her, whilst not putting any other schools down, that I think is a wonderful opportunity for her and she should grasp it by the hands. We just seem to be faffing around and I can't get a Yes out of her, so if she can't make the decision that she wants to take it, how I can move forward with all the preparation kind of thing....

Thanks for the reply

[hermanmunster]

she's only year 4 and won't be able to understand the implications of taking or not taking the exam. At this stage you have to make the decision for her!

[countrymum]

she's only year 4 and won't be able to understand the implications of taking or not taking the exam. At this stage you have to make the decision for her!

So I can say yes, even if she says no....feels wrong but I feel better already I shall work on her over summer, so when she goes back in year 5, she shall know what is best for her

Thanks again

[menagerie]

Simple: take her round the schools. My children fell head over heels in love with the grammars and indies we've visited, but were less impressed by the (pretty good) comps. There was just a real buzz in the selective schools - amazing energy and enthusiasm. My son was so clearly at home among older boys he could buttonhole to ask geeky science-y questions which they answered with pleasure. If your daughter loves learning she will pick up on what these schools can offer her. Reassure her about all the places she will still see her friends (guides, clubs, sleepovers etc.) and encourage her to realise she'll make new friends too.

[mike1880]

My parents allowed me to make the choice and I wanted to go to a local comp where my sister was and where my friends would be going. 40 years on I have a somewhat different perspective - not that I have any regrets or particularly want to change some aspect of my life, but I happen to think they were wrong. It isn't a decision a 9-10-11 year old is qualified to make.

Mike

[Belinda]

.

[mum23*]

If you want to prepare your DD without getting into discussing the test then encourage her to get her times tables up to scratch..instant recall and play word games to develop vocab. That way she is doing the ground work and you don't need to mention tests. Check out free rice and some of the maths games online.

In Y5 go to see the schools - just say you might as well see what is on offer and start tutoring in the Jan for 11+ in autumn (if that is when it takes place in your area). Plenty of debate on the forum as to how much and for how long but in general 1-2 hours per week and maybe more timed tets as you get closer to D day. Make sure you know exactly what is expected for the schools you are interested in and either DIY or get a tutor. If you want a tutor there would be no harm in at least trying to find one and let them know you might want to employ their services when the time is right. I wouldn't say too much to your DD at this stage just set the wheels in motion and find out whatever you can. You will find this site invaluable especially the local section for your area. Plenty of DCs go to high school without knowing others, my DD did. She loves school and has made lots of friends. You could go to open eves at the start of Y5 and Y6 and there are usually some at this time of year too so you can go more than once if you want to. Enjoy the summer off and don't bother doing 11+ work, you will have enough of that next year. There are 11+ books for age 9-10 but tbh unless your DD is super keen to do them I would just leave it and let her carry on with her love of reading.

[countrymum]

Thank you so much for your super replies, I guess she is too young to make these decisions perhaps, and mum needs to just give her a helping hand in realising what may be best for her.

We are in the Trafford area, and have been told by people who know more about this that she would be perfect for Withington/MHSG, but I believe these are fee paying and something we just couldn't realise, think bursaries these days only offer a certain % off if I am right, so we are looking at AGGS. Though of course we have to weigh up all our other options too. Thanks again