Bus Bullies
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inmystride
- Posts: 198
- Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:25 pm
Bus Bullies
Hoping for some advice before the situation escalates. DS has just started Y7 at a GS that he loves, and is thriving amongst new found friends that he says are 'like me!'. He travels to school by bus, and there is only one other boy from his school, who gets on the bus a few stops later. When he is alone (friend doesn't travel home by bus one day a week) DS is being taunted and 'poked' by one boy from a different school who goes out of his way to find him. There are also a number of girls from this other school who are being mean (laughing at him and putting their feet/legs across him) even when his mate is there.
DS is putting on a brave face but I have seen the bottom lip tremble when he's telling me about them, and he is trying to think up ways of missing his bus so that he needs to catch the train home.
If the situation continues, should I be taking up the matter with the bus company or the school? I am hoping things will improve but am furious that his amazing new experiences are being ruined by a few thoughtless individuals who think it great to pick on such an easy target.
Any advice welcome!
DS is putting on a brave face but I have seen the bottom lip tremble when he's telling me about them, and he is trying to think up ways of missing his bus so that he needs to catch the train home.
If the situation continues, should I be taking up the matter with the bus company or the school? I am hoping things will improve but am furious that his amazing new experiences are being ruined by a few thoughtless individuals who think it great to pick on such an easy target.
Any advice welcome!
Re: Bus Bullies
The bus company can't do much (I assume this is a public bus, not a dedicated school service or a contract hire) unless a crime or something approximating a crime is being committed. The other school might be able to, but be careful what you wish for: they might put a shot across the perpetrator's bows, but they can't be there every day to deal with the fall-out from that. And they might, not unreasonably, decide that they can't take action against their own pupils on the basis simply of an allegation from a child at another school. It's a very unfortunate situation, and it doesn't have an easy answer.inmystride wrote: If the situation continues, should I be taking up the matter with the bus company or the school?
Any advice welcome!
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inmystride
- Posts: 198
- Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:25 pm
Re: Bus Bullies
It is a dedicated school service and the bullies' school have an overriding majority of students, with I think only four students coming from the two GS's. DS says there is CTV so assuming it works we would have evidence.xyzzy wrote:The bus company can't do much (I assume this is a public bus, not a dedicated school service or a contract hire)
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Waiting_For_Godot
- Posts: 1446
- Joined: Thu Aug 19, 2010 1:57 pm
Re: Bus Bullies
Sorry to hear about your son's awful experience on the bus. I would go to the bus company first and mention that if you have to go to the other school you will require the CCTV evidence. If they seem unhelpful I don't think you have any choice but to go to the school with your concerns. 
Re: Bus Bullies
Don't get me started on bus discipline!My DS has got into trouble twice.
In Y8 he got into fisticuffs with a Y7 student who was calling him 'gay'!
As he was in the year above he was deemed to be more responsible. They both got sent home by taxi (which went on the school bill 
) The bus hadn't left the school car park at the time the incident happened.
Last year (Y9) someone threw a sandwich at him which was wrapped in foil - he threw it back and it hit a girl on the head.Unfortunately this girl's brother was the bus monitor and reported DS but not the person who threw the sandwich at him! He got a Saturday detention for that little carry on!
I don't think there is much you can do really in this situation except tell DS to try and ignore it. Personally I think if you intervene it will make matters worse for your son. If he doesn't rise to the bait they will get fed up and move on.
In Y8 he got into fisticuffs with a Y7 student who was calling him 'gay'!
As he was in the year above he was deemed to be more responsible. They both got sent home by taxi (which went on the school bill ) The bus hadn't left the school car park at the time the incident happened.Last year (Y9) someone threw a sandwich at him which was wrapped in foil - he threw it back and it hit a girl on the head.Unfortunately this girl's brother was the bus monitor and reported DS but not the person who threw the sandwich at him! He got a Saturday detention for that little carry on!
I don't think there is much you can do really in this situation except tell DS to try and ignore it. Personally I think if you intervene it will make matters worse for your son. If he doesn't rise to the bait they will get fed up and move on.
Re: Bus Bullies
My DS (Year 7) has come home from his new school several times in the last fortnight telling us of a group of other boys who seek him out each day and shake his hand heartily (and ironically), congratulating him on his ginger hair. He tries to play along with it as best he can, but I can see that he's not entirely comfortable with being singled out that way. We've thought it best to let it lie, in the hope that the novelty of this (good-natured) jesting by the other boys will soon pale.
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inmystride
- Posts: 198
- Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:25 pm
Re: Bus Bullies
Thank you all for the suggestions. I must admit my first thought was to go to the bus stop where bully-boy waits with DS and embarrass him in front of all the other school kids ie congratulate him on his ability to find such an easy target to bully, on how clever and brave he is, how his parents must be so proud etc etc
Shall probably give it another few days to see how it goes and then speak to DS's form tutor.
Shall probably give it another few days to see how it goes and then speak to DS's form tutor.
Re: Bus Bullies
Your poor boy ! you too. Now, my son had the same experience only in his first week, but like yours he was so choked up when telling me I thought I would collapse on the floor sobbing I felt so sad.
Why exactly has your son been singled out ? Are there any other boys that the same is happening to ?
My son said that it was mainly the older girls actually doing similar things that you mention and swearing at him.I told him he would have to just say something mean back or even swear if that what it took.He looked at me and said..Oh, I couldn't ! Bless him.I was thinking, like you ...well actually. I could...but getting up that early to get on the bus put me off. So, eventually he swore at them and threw one of the girls bag down the bus .He's now allowed to sit with them as long as one of them can spend the journey tweaking his gel- spiked hair.
As for the boys, well he might just have to look like he doesn't mind...my son kept having someone yank the back of his huge back pack..so he laughed it off intially and then said he pulled this boys trendy messenger bag off his shoulder and threw it on the floor( he's getting good at that ) I think the key is to not give a reaction and then as the last straw do something mean back, I'm afraid so they know he's not a push over.
Funny enough, they now have a lady bus driver who keeps them all in order by loud shrieking every 5 minutes.
If you complained to the bus driver...what would they do ? and would it be kept up every day ? The other boys school would be a better bet even if it was mentioned in assembly that their behaviour was being watched...they might calm down and then hopefully not start up again. It's horrible for your son, but I think the answer will probably have to come from him.Keep us updated...I might need more tips !
Why exactly has your son been singled out ? Are there any other boys that the same is happening to ?
My son said that it was mainly the older girls actually doing similar things that you mention and swearing at him.I told him he would have to just say something mean back or even swear if that what it took.He looked at me and said..Oh, I couldn't ! Bless him.I was thinking, like you ...well actually. I could...but getting up that early to get on the bus put me off. So, eventually he swore at them and threw one of the girls bag down the bus .He's now allowed to sit with them as long as one of them can spend the journey tweaking his gel- spiked hair.
As for the boys, well he might just have to look like he doesn't mind...my son kept having someone yank the back of his huge back pack..so he laughed it off intially and then said he pulled this boys trendy messenger bag off his shoulder and threw it on the floor( he's getting good at that ) I think the key is to not give a reaction and then as the last straw do something mean back, I'm afraid so they know he's not a push over.
Funny enough, they now have a lady bus driver who keeps them all in order by loud shrieking every 5 minutes.
If you complained to the bus driver...what would they do ? and would it be kept up every day ? The other boys school would be a better bet even if it was mentioned in assembly that their behaviour was being watched...they might calm down and then hopefully not start up again. It's horrible for your son, but I think the answer will probably have to come from him.Keep us updated...I might need more tips !
Re: Bus Bullies
It might be worth talking to the bus company/school generally to find out what sanctions there are in place at the moment. At DCs school there is a CCTV as there was quite a lot of boisterous behaviour and they risk having their bus passes taken off them and not being able to use the bus. One boy has been banned from it for a few days before now. Mind you he misses the bus so often, I'm not sure his parents would notice the difference 
. Where we live there is no alternative other than the school but or parents, so it would have quite an impact if mine were banned from the bus.
Good luck, it's a horrible situation to be in. I do feel it's best to nip it in the bud if you can.
. Where we live there is no alternative other than the school but or parents, so it would have quite an impact if mine were banned from the bus.Good luck, it's a horrible situation to be in. I do feel it's best to nip it in the bud if you can.
scary mum
