If you could turn back time . . .

Eleven Plus (11+) in South West Hertfordshire

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toucan
Posts: 80
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2011 5:25 pm

If you could turn back time . . .

Post by toucan »

To parents waiting for results:

Based on your experience so far, what single piece of advice would you give to parents preparing children for future 11+ exams?

Maybe there is one moment of truth that stands out in your mind. A regret maybe? A turn of phrase or clichéd pearl of wisdom that helped your child through a difficult time? Was there something you wish you'd known in advance?

You and your children have all worked so hard, it must be torture to wait at this key time in your lives together. Even if your child does not receive their preferred offer, they'll still succeed if they are loved, encouraged and continue to receive the necessary teaching to which they are entitled.

Many thanks and good luck,
Toucan
vasu
Posts: 719
Joined: Sun Oct 03, 2010 3:36 pm

Re: If you could turn back time . . .

Post by vasu »

I would be calm and not panic like a headless chicken :lol: . I would not cover each and every book or lead..... :oops:
Having one child makes you a parent; having two you are a referee.
dez
Posts: 336
Joined: Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:38 am

Re: If you could turn back time . . .

Post by dez »

I would say to plan well in advance.

1) to assess whether DS or DD will benefit from studying in a GS environment.
2) is the current primary school supportive of sitting the 11+?
3) different DCs require a different length of preparation time.

Hope this help! :D :D :D
toucan
Posts: 80
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2011 5:25 pm

Re: If you could turn back time . . .

Post by toucan »

All advice is extremely helpful, however obvious it seems. Thank you very much.

Little can be done about primary schools that do not support 11+ applicants, except to support the child at home with their schoolwork and 11+ preparation.

Toucan
mad?
Posts: 5621
Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 6:27 pm
Location: london

Re: If you could turn back time . . .

Post by mad? »

My advice would be to remember that it is not the most important thing in your or your DC's life and that your love and support will have far more of an effect on their future success and happiness than the school they go to. Keep it all in perspective, do whatever you can not to stress about it (and if you find a way of doing this share it!) and if that fails do whatever you can not to share that stress in any way with DC (and again do share if you work this one our as well!). No school can guarantee success or happiness, any more than we as parents can. Nor does any school or family have a 100% unsuccessful and unhappy children. Whatever happens it is not something that you should let your DC feel has pre determined their 'outcome' in some way. Good luck.
mad?
new2me
Posts: 162
Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 5:52 pm

Re: If you could turn back time . . .

Post by new2me »

Also, speak positively of the default school that your DC will go to if your plans fall through, no matter how unsuitable you think it is.
faitaccompli
Posts: 357
Joined: Mon Dec 05, 2011 6:44 pm

Re: If you could turn back time . . .

Post by faitaccompli »

I would start preparing DS for the 11+ several months before the sitting, as opposed to 1 month after the sitting ...

I would make him read lots of books and test him on the meanings of words the second he was able to say "mama" ...

I would not have moved so blithely to a county with no grammar schools ...

And if you wonder why someone living in Beds and moving to Bucks is posting here - I started my school life in Bushey Heath (hertfordshire) and I feel comfortable in here as I know most of the schools you talk about!!!
lemondrop
Posts: 954
Joined: Sat Mar 13, 2010 11:23 pm
Location: North London

Re: If you could turn back time . . .

Post by lemondrop »

Make sure it's what your child really wants and not what you're projecting onto your child. They have to do all the work after all. If my DD hadn't been really driven to do this we'd never have got this far. I really hope for her that tomorrow brings good news as a reward for all her hard work and determination.
MamaCass
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Feb 29, 2012 4:27 pm

Re: If you could turn back time . . .

Post by MamaCass »

I would have more faith in my DD.

I would NOT unconsciously talk down the very academic school we had applied to on the off-chance so that when she unexpectedly got in I had to explain that it is a wonderful school really and she will certainly be happy there. Even though I said I didn't like it before. I would be equally positive about all schools applied to.

I would not, even in jest, say that if she got in to the sister school to where my DS goes, he would not talk to her on the coach anyway. (Obviously he won't...)
toucan
Posts: 80
Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2011 5:25 pm

Re: If you could turn back time . . .

Post by toucan »

I think the key is not dismissing the non-grammar alternatives, and helping the child feel both options are acceptable. This is hard when you're trying to highlight the differences between the two types of school and the benefits of the preferred grammar.

We don't have any issues with motivation, more the pressure brought about by wanting to pass and keeping a cool head when faced with the challenge of a public examination. This is hard enough for adults, let alone children.

Thanks again for the words of wisdom.

Toucan
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