Leaving an Independent for STRS
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Leaving an Independent for STRS
Hi
I'm a forum virgin so bear with me!
My son has been offered a place at STRS and we are very proud.
Problem is he is in a local independent going up to senior at 13 years.
He knows no one going to STRS and is currently in refusal mode.
He is of the impression that it will be full of geeks, they won't play much sport and there are no trips away.
He is popular and has tons of friends at his current school many he has been with since they were 4. That said he is awkward around people he doesn't know and the anxiety is already eating him up.
I know that we face WW3 when we force him to move so any advice would be most welcome.
Does bribery work?!
Many thanks
I'm a forum virgin so bear with me!
My son has been offered a place at STRS and we are very proud.
Problem is he is in a local independent going up to senior at 13 years.
He knows no one going to STRS and is currently in refusal mode.
He is of the impression that it will be full of geeks, they won't play much sport and there are no trips away.
He is popular and has tons of friends at his current school many he has been with since they were 4. That said he is awkward around people he doesn't know and the anxiety is already eating him up.
I know that we face WW3 when we force him to move so any advice would be most welcome.
Does bribery work?!
Many thanks
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hermanmunster
- Posts: 12896
- Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:51 am
- Location: The Seaside
Re: Leaving an Independent for STRS
Hi and welcome
Difficult when the school he is at goes up to 13 and beyond.... easier if they are all kicked out at 11 and have to go somewhere. DS's indie did that and 10 of them went to 9 different schools..
Yes - try bribery, you try try telling him that you have gambled all the money away and can no longer afford the school fees
- seriously though it is a good option having an indie primary and then a state GS and he probably has to realise that is actually non negotiable as far as his parents are concerned
Re STRs - he will probably find that there are a lot of kids who are the only child from their school starting there. At one of my local GS it was 35 /112 one year so plenty of slightly lost kids to make friends with. Might be worth having a word with the schools liaison person - see if they can help with an early visit or chat re activities etc
Difficult when the school he is at goes up to 13 and beyond.... easier if they are all kicked out at 11 and have to go somewhere. DS's indie did that and 10 of them went to 9 different schools..
Yes - try bribery, you try try telling him that you have gambled all the money away and can no longer afford the school fees
- seriously though it is a good option having an indie primary and then a state GS and he probably has to realise that is actually non negotiable as far as his parents are concerned Re STRs - he will probably find that there are a lot of kids who are the only child from their school starting there. At one of my local GS it was 35 /112 one year so plenty of slightly lost kids to make friends with. Might be worth having a word with the schools liaison person - see if they can help with an early visit or chat re activities etc
Re: Leaving an Independent for STRS
I am really busy ATM but will pm you later.
Re: Leaving an Independent for STRS
Do talk to the staff at STRS, the head of Yr7 (Mr Daniell, I think) had a good long chat with my boy that put him at ease. Lots of boys (inc ours) will know no no-one else and the school seem to have plans in place to deal with this. There are three residential trips in Yr7 which seem to be for just this purpose, and as to sports there are loads.
Also having we moved our boy well out of his comfort zone a few years back and it really was the making of him, and if it goes really badly you can always go back to your current school (not that he needs to know this
). What would your plans at 13 be anyway?
ETA Welcome
Also having we moved our boy well out of his comfort zone a few years back and it really was the making of him, and if it goes really badly you can always go back to your current school (not that he needs to know this
). What would your plans at 13 be anyway?ETA Welcome
Re: Leaving an Independent for STRS
Boys have egos so try and feed it. Explain he has beaten so many to win a place it would be a waste not to seize the opportunity.
Build up STRS without running down any other options.
A mix of this and all the above posts should do the trick.
Build up STRS without running down any other options.
A mix of this and all the above posts should do the trick.
Re: Leaving an Independent for STRS
The school works very hard at making everyone feel settled and happy, so I'm sure he will settle in before you know it.
There will be an Induction Day this July; an optional two days of fun science at the end of the summer holidays before the rest of the school goes back; a 3 day trip to Stratford with their form in October; a week away on an outward bound course with the whole year group some time in June I think (at which they deliberately try to mix them up to encourage new friendships); and an optional night's camping next July. By the time he's done all this I'm sure he'll have lots of new friends! Most boys know no-one on starting and several will be ex-private schools and within a few weeks none of this will seem to matter at all.
As for trips, Y7-9 have the possibility of going to France/Germany/Spain on language trips, there's a history trip to the WW1 battlefields, a visit to Alton Towers to study forces and momentum (yeah right!), optional ski-ing holidays etc.
I'm never quite sure what "geeks" means (my DS has told me it's different to "nerds", but heaven only knows what the difference is...
) Anyhow, it seems to me that all the boys at Tommies are bright, but most are just normal, well-rounded children. There seems to be space in the school and total acceptance of all types of individual, be they academic, sporty, musical, or just happy in the important business of just being a child.
Like others have said, I think you need to stress the positive to your son and don't give any sign of waivering. You must have had reasons for entering him for the exam, so tell him what they were. Of course, it's normal to feel anxious when moving schools, but STRS is very aware of this so I'm sure he will be fine.
There will be an Induction Day this July; an optional two days of fun science at the end of the summer holidays before the rest of the school goes back; a 3 day trip to Stratford with their form in October; a week away on an outward bound course with the whole year group some time in June I think (at which they deliberately try to mix them up to encourage new friendships); and an optional night's camping next July. By the time he's done all this I'm sure he'll have lots of new friends! Most boys know no-one on starting and several will be ex-private schools and within a few weeks none of this will seem to matter at all.
As for trips, Y7-9 have the possibility of going to France/Germany/Spain on language trips, there's a history trip to the WW1 battlefields, a visit to Alton Towers to study forces and momentum (yeah right!), optional ski-ing holidays etc.
I'm never quite sure what "geeks" means (my DS has told me it's different to "nerds", but heaven only knows what the difference is...
) Anyhow, it seems to me that all the boys at Tommies are bright, but most are just normal, well-rounded children. There seems to be space in the school and total acceptance of all types of individual, be they academic, sporty, musical, or just happy in the important business of just being a child.Like others have said, I think you need to stress the positive to your son and don't give any sign of waivering. You must have had reasons for entering him for the exam, so tell him what they were. Of course, it's normal to feel anxious when moving schools, but STRS is very aware of this so I'm sure he will be fine.
Re: Leaving an Independent for STRS
Just realised that I misread your post and assumed your son was going into a higher year. Apologies...I see you picked up my pm and are now probably wondering what I was on about. 
My second son is off to STRS too and knows one other boy who will be going. I think they will all be in pretty much the same boat.
My second son is off to STRS too and knows one other boy who will be going. I think they will all be in pretty much the same boat.
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cheltdad
Re: Leaving an Independent for STRS
Does he do sport football, cricket, Rugby Hockey etc I am sure he will know boys there as I know many that are going that do plenty of sports and are not geeks if you PM me details of the teams he plays for I can let you know more info if required.
Re: Leaving an Independent for STRS
Thanks to everyone for their support and advice, it's amazing how much people seem to care.
The good news is that he is starting to come around and is now talking about "when I go to Tommies", a major step for us.
We had a good talk at the weekend and although he is sad about the idea of leaving where he is, he knows that moving is the right thing to do and we didn't waiver or give him the choice of staying.
The amount of sport on offer as well as the regular school trips certainly swayed him.
I actually wrote him a letter detailing all the amazing things on offer and how highly regarding the school is. There was also a small amount of bribery in there in terms of what fun things we can do with the money saved on school fees!
I'm sure we face more uncertainty as we near September but that is inevitable.
I have yet to hear anything negative about Tommies and comments are normally along the lines of "my son has never been happier".
Thanks again and all the best to one and all.
The good news is that he is starting to come around and is now talking about "when I go to Tommies", a major step for us.
We had a good talk at the weekend and although he is sad about the idea of leaving where he is, he knows that moving is the right thing to do and we didn't waiver or give him the choice of staying.
The amount of sport on offer as well as the regular school trips certainly swayed him.
I actually wrote him a letter detailing all the amazing things on offer and how highly regarding the school is. There was also a small amount of bribery in there in terms of what fun things we can do with the money saved on school fees!
I'm sure we face more uncertainty as we near September but that is inevitable.
I have yet to hear anything negative about Tommies and comments are normally along the lines of "my son has never been happier".
Thanks again and all the best to one and all.
