Advice Needed Please

[SEP18]

OK - is it wrong for me to check DS's phone and facebook accounts?? It would not be done everyday but maybe, once a fortnight?

Does any other parent do this please? My DS is in Year 8.

Any thoughts would very much be appreciated on this matter.

[pixiequeen]

IMO, not wrong at all, so long as he is aware you are going to do it. My DD is year 7 and knows I randomly check her phone whenever I feel like it (wouldn't want to give her the chance to delete anything I might not like by giving her too much warning!). She doesn't have a facebook account but if she did I would definitely check that too! All the other parents I know check their kids phones too. We also have a no screens in bedrooms rule so we would be more aware if DD was sent a text that upset her, and of course I am checking that my DD is communicating with her friends in a polite and appropriate manner

Pixiequeen

[First-timer]

No, you're not wrong to check. I check my son's FB regularly. He knows this and it isn't an issue. It was a condition of him having an account. Quite often I'm the one who notices that he has friend requests and I remind him to deal with them. My son is in Y8 too. None of his communications are of a personal nature yet. I might have to have a rethink in a couple of years.

[doodles]

I too check DS's phone and facebook (he's yr8). Also he only has facebook account on the understanding that both his dad and I are his "friends".

[Waiting_For_Godot]

I check my son's accounts about every two weeks although I don't always remember. I was chuffed when I my son replied to a message saying, "Don't swear mate!" Not sure how long that will last though!

[Snowdrops]

I check my dd's accounts and she knows it. However she is rapidly approaching 15 now (year 9) and I will probably stop when she enters year 10 ........................................... or maybe year 11

[Thingsbehindthesun]

My oldest (Y7) has neither, but I would check too.

[scary mum]

Our deal with our children is that they don't have facebook accounts unless we are their "friends" but I do try not to make any comments on their wall (can't resist sometimes ). We also reserve the right to check their phones whenever we fancy it and do so randomly every now and then, although I have to say we have eased off on DD who is in year 11. We have a no screens in bedroom rule although it does slip a bit. If they break the rules the phones are taken off them for the weekend and it hasn't had to happen for a while. Mind you DS is constantly fiddling with his phone and it drives me beserk!

[SEP18]

Thank you for replying everyone.

I do not feel like such a monster now DS was quite adamant that no other parent checks their DC's phones. It's nice to know that I am not alone in doing this.

I found something not particularly nice on there and have had to deal with this issue as well as the checking the phone issue.

[andyb]

I can log into DS1's (Y9) Facebook account and I am a friend. He knows I look at it quite regularly. Judging by some of the "banter" that goes on on Facebook I assume that not many of his friends' parents check up on them . I don't tend to look at his phone messages unless he is behaving more secretively than normal .