Building a child's confidence

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 1:47 pm

Just wondered if anyone had an opinion on this. My child has lovely handwriting and was moved from a pencil to a pen in year 3. Then in year 4 the teacher took the pen away and said it needed to be earnt again. At the end of year 4 the pen was again granted to her (the only child in the class to get one). Now I am told it will be taken away again when she moves into year 5 and re-earnt. She is really not bothered but I have real problems building her confidence at school and her teacher comments on her lack of confidence. I really don't think this helps?! Or is it just me? Her handwriting has remained superb throughout and I think the idea is to boost all the other children in the class by knocking her back. The rest of the kids all love her handwriting and don't begrudge her the pen.
It's not a big issue. Maybe when she is granted it again in year 5 it will actually boost her confidence.

Road Runner · Post by **Road Runner** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 2:26 pm

Goodness I have never heard such nonsense. Theres an old saying 'giving it in the one hand and taking it back in the other', and I think this teacher is doing this with your daughter.
My son experienced a similar thing in year 6 when he was told although he was moved up to top set in Math he could easily be moved down again. he hadn't done anything at all to jsutify his teachers 'warning' accept to have worked very hard to get there.

Fortunately as you said your daughter is not too worried by it then if I were you I wouldn't make it an issue to her but I would speak directly to the teacher as I think it is unfair to build a child up only to knock them down again. What I would do too is go out and buy your daughter a pen and you give it her for all of her personal writing at home(wouldn't want to conflit with pen/pencil at school), tell her you feel she deserves a pen as a reward for her excellent writing to be used at at home and that will probably make you feel better.

Mel x

Ps

I think some teachers have a lot to learn when it comes to dealing with our chidlren

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 2:48 pm

Mel X. Thanks for the reply. I'm glad it's not just me thinks this unfair. What a great idea to buy her a pen to use at home. She really deserves some recognition and she will appreciate it all the more coming from me!

sidcup mum · Post by **sidcup mum** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 3:14 pm

We are having similar problems with my daughter and her teacher. Up to now, year 5, there have been no issues with her handwriting. Teachers have always expressed their pleasure at her writing. She was allowed to use a pen from year 4 which was great for her confidence but when she went into year 5 the new teacher didn't realise they were allowed pens and started her on pencils again. After a while I talked to the teacher and she checked with the school that it was o.k. to use pens and she was allowed again. 3rd teacher down the line (still in year 5!) says that she does'nt like the way she does her f's (no other teacher has said that they were a problem) and she wants her to write on a slant. My daughter's confidence has really been knocked by this and finds trying to write with a special slanted line under her paper really off putting. She spends too much time worrying about how her handwriting is looking now and not on the content.There's no budging her teacher on this though.

Sally-Anne · Post by **Sally-Anne** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 4:56 pm

Mel X wrote:Goodness I have never heard such nonsense. Theres an old saying 'giving it in the one hand and taking it back in the other', and I think this teacher is doing this with your daughter.
My son experienced a similar thing in year 6 when he was told although he was moved up to top set in Math he could easily be moved down again. he hadn't done anything at all to jsutify his teachers 'warning' accept to have worked very hard to get there.

Fortunately as you said your daughter is not too worried by it then if I were you I wouldn't make it an issue to her but I would speak directly to the teacher as I think it is unfair to build a child up only to knock them down again. What I would do too is go out and buy your daughter a pen and you give it her for all of her personal writing at home(wouldn't want to conflit with pen/pencil at school), tell her you feel she deserves a pen as a reward for her excellent writing to be used at at home and that will probably make you feel better.

Mel x

Ps

I think some teachers have a lot to learn when it comes to dealing with our chidlren

I agree with every single word of that Mel! From the nonsense through the Maths to the suggestion of a pen at home.

I agree with SidcupMum as well, that there isn't a lot of coordination on this in schools. My kids use pencil for one subject, pen for another and pen in one book, pencil in another. Even when they use pencil they aren't allowed to use a rubber, but have to cross out, and each teacher likes them to cross out in a different way. And it changes every year with new teachers! It's all very confusing and pointless, and it's hardly surprising that the kids feel demoralised by it.

Sally-Anne

Guest55 · Post by **Guest55** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:44 pm

I also agree!! There should be a school policy on this so everyone knows what's going on!

I love the idea of a pen for home - a special note book or lovely paper would be a great addition to that!!

Sally-Anne · Post by **Sally-Anne** » Mon Jul 16, 2007 6:04 pm

Maybe even that long-forgotten object, a diary?

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jul 17, 2007 9:33 am

Sidcup mum - It was her 'f's that my daughter's teacher has a problem with. Too big and loopy and crossing over onto the line below. She didn't need to take the pen away though as my dughter corrected the problem as she as she was made aware of it. It was obviously just an excuse so that the whole class could all be on pencils again.
BTW My daughter loved the idea of having her own pen at home. We're going to choose a new one at the weekend. She went to bed last night saying how wonderful I was and how much she loved me! (Didn't tell her it wasn't actually my idea so thanks for that one, MelX)

Road Runner · Post by **Road Runner** » Tue Jul 17, 2007 10:36 am

Hi Guest

I'm pleased you liked the idea and you are a 'wonderful mum' which is why you brought this to the forum.

Sally-Anne my little girl keeps a diary, it's so sweet and I feel is another way for them to practise thier hand writing, it's surprising how neatly they write in it(I used to too).

Sidcup mum how awful for your daughter to be messed around this way. Three teachers is bad enough! The only thing I can sugguest again is to keep reassuring her that it's not her fault and it's only because she is 'so good' that her teacher is wanting her to be perfect.

I would find out who her next teacher will be next year and make a point of seeing him/her about this straight away when she starts in September. I would actually make the appointment for as soon as she starts and take your daughter in with you so it can be discussed openly.

I am sure she has had many positive comments from her teachers on other stuff and in her report so don't forget to keep reminding her about them.

At the end of the day summer hols are on us so lets all forget about school and have a fab time!!

Mel

Guest · Post by **Guest** » Tue Jul 17, 2007 1:35 pm

This 'removal' of pens also happens in our primary school. While my son couldn't care less (actually preferring to write in pencil), my daughter found the whole process quite undermining. There's something slightly demeaning in being told your good enough one year, but no longer good enough the next... Interestingly, my daughter came home from her grammar school induction day saying they'd been told they could write in whatever they pleased! (Pink ink here we come....)

Building a child's confidence

Building a child's confidence

Mel X

Re: Mel X

Mel X