Fearful avoidant attachment disorder- advice please

[ourmaminhavana]

I could really do with some help. I have a very dear friend who I feel sure has this condition. I'd like to be more than friends, but given his very low self esteem and huge fear of intimacy this seems a very, very long way down the track, if at all. I really want to help and feel that the prime thing is building self esteem. I've been reading a great deal about it, but wondered if anyone here had personal experience that they could post or PM me? Whilst he is highly successful professionally I'm just beginning to realise that he has an incredibly isolated, tortured personal life.
He has had relationship before, including being married, but hasn't had a close relationship for the last four years and has told me that he finds close relationships very difficult and challenging.
I don't know if he's had counselling which hopefully could help.
I'm actually at my wits end, so any advice would be really appreciated. Herman, I don't know if you've come across this or avoidant personality disorder?
Thanks.
OMIH

[neveragain*]

Hi

I'm a psychotherapist specialising in attachment issues - worked in fostering and adoption and NhS teams. Will PM you next few days.......something useful to read would be a book called they f*** you up by Oliver James - very good simple attachment explanations or parenting from the inside out also has lots helpful stuff re our own attachment styles when parenting etc.......

[ourmaminhavana]

Thanks very much Neveragain. I've read Kantor and a great deal more. I'll PM you with more details if that's OK?