Problem with colleague

[harlequin]

I need some advice please.

One of the colleagues I work with who is in her mid-20's and seems to have a bit of an attitude and and it's starting to wear a little thin. She has been with us less than two years but she seems to have two sides to her personality. One side is the really nice and helpful side when she is around her line managers/management, who seem to be oblivious, but then a not so nice side comes out when she speaks to certain of her colleagues.

Once when she was feeling ill and had to go home, I tried to help her out with an admin task that had been allocated to her, but when when she returned to work later that week, she made a sarcastic remark to me, which took me by surprise. It would have been nice for her to show a little gratitude for helping her out but that wasn't the case.

She begrudges helping certain colleagues when asked to provide cover for them if they are on annual leave.
She now avoids speaking to me unless she really has to. I was speaking to her today to pass on a telephone message from another colleague, but I felt that I might as well have been invisible, judging by her reaction.

I can't bear this attitude and I have never really experienced this kind of atmosphere in the office before even though I have been working in an office for many years now. One of the colleagues who I get on really well with, has also noticed her behaviour, has said that she will one day, speak to this person about the way she speaks to certain members of staff, but I can't see things improving unless something is done.

What would you do in a similar situation?

[mystery]

Does it affect how she does her job? Are you responsible for her in any way? Is she responsible for you in any way? Could she somehow affect your job in some way? If no to all I'd just give her a wide berth, smile sweetly at her when necessary, and watch your back.

[Amber]

'Have I done something to upset you, Marlene?', while looking her straight in the eye and standing assertively. And when she mutters 'er, no', you say something like 'oh, it's just since I did that admin task for you last week I have had the distinct impression that I have upset you. Glad I haven't then.' And smile sweetly.

[Tinkers]

Nothing winds up people like this as much as being really really really nice and happy smiley to them, when you need to deal with them.
The rest of the time avoid them.

Had similar.

[ToadMum]

'Have I done something to upset you, Marlene?', while looking her straight in the eye and standing assertively. And when she mutters 'er, no', you say something like 'oh, it's just since I did that admin task for you last week I have had the distinct impression that I have upset you. Glad I haven't then.' And smile sweetly.

This one best done with and audience, of course

[scarlett]

I work with a whole bunch of women and recognise that sort of person! There was a youngish girl who worked with me until recently and I would second the direct approach..usually leads to a bit of a fluster on their part. I know a few people did complain higher up who spoke to her about her behaviour...but I only found that out when she left and we all discussed how awful she was!

[PROBSNAIVE]

I am a supervisor in an office of a team of 14. If anyone in my team behaved in a way that was offending others, I would like to know about it. People in my team (and we are actually quite a happy one) will often tell me about what someone else in the team has done to annoy or upset them. Usually if it is a one off I wouldn't intervene but if it something that continues, then I would definitely speak to the culprit. The office environment is a difficult one, so many childish behaviours that come out. Sometimes people forget they are supposed to be grown ups.

[Brum Mum]

I would do what Amber suggested - with an audience - and have done before now.

Its true that people do forget they are supposed to be grown ups and that they're not in the playground any more.

[talea51]

I agree with Amber and Tinkers. I am a fan of the direct approach as it usually makes people like that quite uncomfortable, and I am also a fan of the "kill them with kindness approach". It never fails to annoy people if I am unfailingly polite in the face of their obvious rudeness. Particularly in front of others.

[harlequin]

Thanks to everyone for your all your advice.

Particularly liked the reference to "Marlene" - wasn't she in the TV show Only Fools and Horses!

It's a shame this situation can't be dealt with by our line manager who is an amenable chap. A few of us have hinted at this girl's behaviour, without going into the specifics. I think he just wants an easy life and this situation is made more tricky as this girl is now responsible for taking on some of his workload.

If things don't improve it may have to be escalated by going to our Director but we don't want to trouble her unless it's really necessary.