Sticky moments discussing results with friends

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Mr147
Posts: 94
Joined: Wed Sep 18, 2013 5:20 pm

Sticky moments discussing results with friends

Post by Mr147 »

Sent a text to a friend asking how their son got on in the AGSB exam and sadly he missed by 8 points - Feel really bad about texting now so haven't spoken to anyone else about their boys as I don't want to come across as being a smart ar$e that my DS passed.

My DS is really keen to see who in his circle of friends might be at the same School but has been advised not to discuss this at School tomorrow.

I thought that the stress would be over but feel uncomfortable asking people now! Maybe I keep quiet until asked.
hermanmunster
Posts: 12817
Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:51 am
Location: The Seaside

Re: Sticky moments discussing results with friends

Post by hermanmunster »

definitely the best thing to do! Results will all filter out in the end, preferably without anyone being directly asked.
overanxious
Posts: 144
Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2009 5:26 pm
Location: Manchester

Re: Sticky moments discussing results with friends

Post by overanxious »

I have been in both positions - a pass and a fail. If I knew the parents well enough to have discussed the exam/preparation/outcomes BEFORE results day, then I think it's fine to ask: in fact I was a bit :roll: when a parent just informed me happily that their daughter had passed without bothering to ask about mine. If you thought their son would pass I think it's nice to say so, and any noises along the lines of 'just one result on one day/a blip' are also appreciated! :lol: Just don't go on and on about how glad you are that your child doesn't have to go to X school - when that's the school their child will be attending :evil: (two years on, still feel stabby)
Nimbus
Posts: 57
Joined: Sat May 18, 2013 12:23 pm

Re: Sticky moments discussing results with friends

Post by Nimbus »

My DS has passed (349) but I suspect not by enough as we are OOC. anyway we are keeping fingers crossed. I definitely think it's 'best to keep Mum' until it filters through.
One of my friends (who's son didn't pass) received a rather boastful, insensitive 'round robin' text from a friend informing everyone that her son had passed with an amazing score (370+) how she couldn't believe it and what a genius he was, (incidentally he had gone to private prep). This just made her feel twice as bad. Anyway thanks all, this forum keeps me sane!:(
hermanmunster
Posts: 12817
Joined: Fri Sep 15, 2006 9:51 am
Location: The Seaside

Re: Sticky moments discussing results with friends

Post by hermanmunster »

Your poor friend, Nimbus - I think some people can be so insensitive, having said that the mother in question may not have much else to feel happy about...

Overanxious, I STILL remember (40+ years ago :oops: ) being stopped by a friend's parent in the High Street to be told that friend had passed 11 plus and wasn't that good? I agreed it was and ...... no he never asked how I had got on.
Oshosh
Posts: 265
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:35 pm

Re: Sticky moments discussing results with friends

Post by Oshosh »

I am feeling the pinch as well. There are only a few who took the exam from our area......and i have had just about enough bitterness that my DS has a got a good score. I never really called anyone to tell,except this forum and my close family...but didnt think putting the score down would be right thing in the forum ..but i have been asked by people in our area ...When they ask me, i thought it was only polite ask the other how they got on........

I am worried my DS might face the same thing in the playground as well....... :?
busybee10
Posts: 36
Joined: Mon Mar 25, 2013 12:08 pm

Re: Sticky moments discussing results with friends

Post by busybee10 »

Nimbus wrote:My DS has passed (349) but I suspect not by enough as we are OOC. anyway we are keeping fingers crossed. I definitely think it's 'best to keep Mum' until it filters through.
One of my friends (who's son didn't pass) received a rather boastful, insensitive 'round robin' text from a friend informing everyone that her son had passed with an amazing score (370+) how she couldn't believe it and what a genius he was, (incidentally he had gone to private prep). This just made her feel twice as bad. Anyway thanks all, this forum keeps me sane!:(
I agree Nimbus- it was very insensitive, we also received a boastful round robin text about how a friends child had received over 370 when the pass mark was only 334 etc, etc- it was sent top the whole class! I know it's an exciting time for some but can be very disappointing for others- folk need to think before they speak (or text!).
As you say, thank goodness for this forum to vent our feelings! :wink:
sydney
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri Oct 04, 2013 10:46 am

Re: Sticky moments discussing results with friends

Post by sydney »

Yuk, its horrible. Last year I learnt the hard way - my DS passed well and his best friend (who was sure to pass) didn't. Cringe.

This year I have avoided making eye contact, only spoke when spoken to, or congratulated those I know have done ok very quietly and out of earshot.

It is hard though, I'm so proud of my boys but I really feel for his friends who haven't done so well. We all have more results yet to come.
Oshosh
Posts: 265
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:35 pm

Re: Sticky moments discussing results with friends

Post by Oshosh »

:D
Bourne Mum
Posts: 95
Joined: Fri Sep 20, 2013 12:50 pm

Re: Sticky moments discussing results with friends

Post by Bourne Mum »

Great topic. I'v been wondering the same. We decided not to open our results until the whole family got home but when DH went to pick DS from school, one of the mums shouted out across the playground asking if our son had passed & trumpeting on about how her DS had passed 2 schools. As it turns out ours passed both too & she ran to me this morning shouting from across the road asking if our DS had passed. I just felt so bombarded & worried about someone who hadn't passed possibly being close by. I just quietly said he had & she started shouting out "I knew our boys would do it!".
Now I havnt found out the scores of the other kids as it was trip day but i'm really worried about my friend's DS. I havent texted her to say mine passed & I havn't heard from her though I did see her husband in town & he simply waved at me. Awkward silence @ the mo...
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