Advice needed urgently

[curiousone]

I have an unusual but urgent problem and would appreciate any help in identifying a suitable Educational Psychologist.
My child is now in year eight having been highly successful at junior school, top of class, Sats 6 level, etc. He is a very talented musician and all round sports participant. A number of scholarships on offer at age 13. All looks good with everything to look forward to but is now displaying signs of unhappiness, lack of application and to be honest seems to be angry and unhappy despite having everything to look forward to. Well aware of the usual subjects like being pushed too hard, doing too much , demands, etc but that is not the cause or seems not to be. Something else going on here.
I need to get in contact with someone qualified and able to get to the core of what is happening and quickly as his behaviour and application are causing real concern at his current prep school.
Can anyone point me in the direction of an Educational Psychologist who may be able to help? Someone who is well versed in this particular area. Many listed but without some input from elsewhere it seems a lottery just to choose one. Live in North London.

I would be grateful for any suggestions.

[hermanmunster]

Are you sure is an ed psych you need? I think they tend to concentrate on assessing matters to do with learning / processing etc .

Just wondering if you have a stressed hormonal teenager on your hands ? Suspect a few posters on the forum have had their hands full with such over the years .. these crucial times in education don't gel well with puberty!

[curiousone]

Thanks but the Head of the prep school is very experienced and has seen this many times before. He thinks more is going on that's why I think it needs someone else to dig a little deeper.

[Amber]

Without knowing all the facts or your son...I would urge caution before rushing to an Ed Psych and medicalising/pathologising what sounds like a dose of puberty to me. By focussing (very expensive) professional attention on a 12/13 year old boy you risk bringing a whole lot of other problems down on your head when maybe what he needs is time, space and a maybe an understanding ear from a person outside the family (I assume you have already tried to find out what is bothering him)- someone like an uncle, a scout leader, religious leader or whatever suits your particular circumstances. Being a fabulous all-rounder brings its own issues of pressure, even if you think not, or maybe feeling out of control and over-commited when he wants to sit and sulk in his bedroom for a bit.

I have heard ( ) sometimes the shock transformation from delightful child to vile hormonal shouting know-all can be very hard to take and even lovely-seeming teenagers can turn into shrieking, angry dervishes for months at a time, especially for their parents.

Sorry - seem to be having some keyboard issues today.

[pheasantchick]

On Mumsnet, there is a 'year 8 blip' thread. Can't remember what it said, but it may have some useful information.

I think also, after all the excitement of year 6, the 11+, finishing junior school, starting senior school, year8 can be a bit of an anticlimax.

(Mods - hope I'm allowed to mention the other website here)

[scary mum]

I would think the school should be able to provide the support needed, they must have seen this many times, and I agree, don't medicalise things unless you need to. I have seen the year 8 blip too (2 down, one about to enter it, I suspect ).

[Sally-Anne]

From my reading of quite lot of past EP reports, issues like this can come down to Self-Esteem (a mismatch between expectations and self-belief) and Locus of Control (feeling in control of one's own destiny.)

I think you might be wise to consider finding a counsellor who works with adolescents. It may be that he is "a pressure cooker" who needs someone impartial to vent to.

I am surprised at the Head suggesting the EP route because it could "medicalise" and even worsen the situation.

However, if you are determined to go that way, there is quite a sophisticated Search facility on the British Psychological Society website, here: http://www.bps.org.uk/psychology-public ... ychologist" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

You could, for example, narrow your search to "Adolescent, Mental Health, Academic Performance".

I would then call a few reasonably local EPs from that search list and put the issue to them. I would expect them to be willing initially to discuss the issues with you over the phone, and I would hope to hear mention of words similar to those I have used above.

I would also expect them to tell the type of tests that they would use to discern what is going on with your son. If you then let us know what they say, we may be able to tell you how appropriate the tests would be.

The one thing you do not want in this situation is an "off the peg" Educational Assessment because it might leave your son feeling under even more pressure or undermine his self-esteem even more. Run a mile from anyone who seems to be suggesting that.

Edited to add: Lots of cross-posts while I made my coffee.

[curiousone]

The self esteem point is well made. Despite being a high achiever, well thought of and admired he seems to have low self esteem, is saying / doing inappropriate things to others, displaying an arrogant attitude towards great teachers and having to be pushed to do anything - all of the time. I well understand the issues that surround the change in a boy at this age or slightly older but there is something else here. The point in going medical is also taken, thank you.
It leaves me wondering where to turn to as its clear that despite myself and his mother ( and others) trying everything we know - we are not making any progress.

[Sally-Anne]

It sounds to me as though the Head is overreacting, perhaps because of this part of what you say? is saying / doing inappropriate things to others,

I have known of this, and if I am reading between the lines correctly, it causes all sorts of dramas.

I will PM you in a moment.

[southbucks3]

is saying / doing inappropriate things to others, displaying an arrogant attitude towards great teachers and having to be pushed to do anything - all of the time.

With the exception of arrogant attitude to teachers, you have described my year 8 son.
He walloped someone for the first time in his life, in the school corridor, in front of the deputy head, last term. The child who was hit was probably as deserving of my son's action as anyone could get..as he had been acting inappropriately towards my ds, but everyone including my ds was very shocked by his severe reaction.
Is he getting enough time to be a pre teen, rather than superstar? By this I mean hanging out in his bedroom with his iPod and alternating snoozing with having a scratch every now and then?
Good luck