Is daydreaming a problem

[talea51]

I am a little concerned about dd2. She has a problem finishing her work at school. In her own words if there was an Olympic medal for daydreaming, she'd get it. Her teacher says it's not because she's talking to the other children, apparently she just sits there in her own little world staring off in to space and she has to get reminded to do her work.

dd2 is a quiet shy child. She's not hyperactive or impulsive although she constantly fidgets, she can't sit still and she's always falling off her chair (even at home) because she wriggles and fidgets so much that she slides off the chair.

I am concerned that she may have an attention deficit. She particularly struggles to focus on tasks that do not engage her or that are tedious. I know it's difficult for anyone to focus on those but she really is very bad. It can take her 4 or 5 hours to complete a homework task that should only take 20 or 30 minutes. If she can't get the answer to something straight away, she will often just sit and look at the page for an hour.

She has gotten in to trouble a few times at school because her work is not finished so it's definitely impacting her progress at school. We have parents evening tonight and I am going to raise it with the teacher but I wondered if anyone had any experience with this or any advice to offer. Quite tellingly, she has said to me that she daydreams because the work is boring.

I have been advised to get her tested for an attention deficit but my concern is that I don't want to medicate her unless it's absolutely necessary. I was on methylphenidate as a child and I do not want her to have it so I am reluctant to go down that route.

[ebrs]

my 12 year old is similar and I have asked the GP for a referral to CAMHs for an assessment. He also hums and taps a lot. We once had a marathon ten hour homework session for things that should have realistically taken 90 minutes overall. He also hums and taps constantly. His brother has Aspergers so I do have concerns but reading up on ADHD made me realise how many boxes he ticks. I would be interested to hear how you get on and what you decide to do. It's quite worrying and very frustrating isn't it...

[Tinkers]

You are describing my DD to a tee. As she was in Year3.
As I already suspected she was mildly dyslexic, I gave omega 3 a go.
Year 4 teacher never said anything about daydreaming as year3 teacher did, so I asked if it was problem. Apparently no.

Recently I was reading a book on dyslexia and it mentions ADHD as the two are often linked. I could tick off every symptom on the list.

I wouldn't describe her as having ADHD and don't see any need for assessment, but I can tell when she doesn't take omega 3 for a few days.

Can't say whether it will help your DD but it did mine. She made the biggest academic progress in year 4.

[southbucks3]

If I told you that the teacher had to draw the classroom curtains to stop my son gawping out the window in year 3 would it make you feel better? When we asked what he always stared at, he told us he was looking at the trees, wishing he was climbing them.
He also once reached the end of lessons with blank pages, as he missed instructions, finally his chums special needs teacher took him under her wing too, and helped him focus a bit more.
Year 4 saw him turn himself around, he had a cool, young male teacher, but this year has all got a bit too much, and he is back to day dreaming. He then gets upset when he realises he has run out of time, and has "done rubbish work". To be honest it is all the " boring evaluations" that are turning him off, he hates them, plus the increased volume of writing now required.

I don't want to sound patronising, because I am no expert, but I am a firm believer that children, like dogs, need to be run. I am sure all this wet play of late has not helped, they seem to concentrate so much more when exercised in the fresh air. This is half the reason I let mine do so much sport and spend so much time in the woods, because they are far less irritating and far more focussed afterwards.

Ds1 is our Mr fidget, he cannot even have a rubber or spare pencil on a desk when doing a test, because he spends longer fiddling with them than time allows. He also used to fall off chairs like your dd and is never still, always jiggling about, I cannot stand sharing a sofa with him, it makes me feel seasick!

I don't think it has any label other than childhood to be honest, irritating as it is to us completely rational adults (says she with very sore picked at cuticles) they just need a poke with a cattle prod sometimes.

[scary mum]

talea51, is your DD a thumb sucker? When my DD was this age she was an enthusiastic thumb sucker, but as soon as she put her thumb in it was like being hypnotised, and she was off. At the time her etacher said that if her thumb went in she knew she had lost her!

[talea51]

lol - no, not a thumb sucker although she does sometimes suck her fingers . Usually only when very tired.

Tinkers, Omega 3 sounds like a good idea. Any one in particular that you use or just generic omega 3 capsules?

SB3, it could be the malaise that is childhood. My dd2 is still very young, one of the youngest in her class and I don't think that helps...

[Tinkers]

DD never sucked her thumb either.

She is still a fidget. Even in her sleep.

As for omega 3, it's more a case of finding one they like the taste of, some are better then others. If they don't like the taste they won't take them.

I also have to take away things she fiddles with, like pens rubber etc.

When she is working at home, she has started playing music, (classical, but that's her taste) and that seems to help too.

[scary mum]

Interestingly my youngest is a fiddler. I was forever taking things off him but his form tutor believes he should be allowed to fiddle & that it may help him concentrate. She keep blue tac in her drawer in case he wants some to fiddle with.

[rockyroads]

My daughter's dyspraxic and is now in year 6 and will be starting grammar school in September.

When she was younger she would fidget and always found it hard to keep still.

We were lucky enough to have a fantastic Physiotherapist who gave us lots of advice. She suggested lots of exercise as Southbucks 3 suggested and I think Tinker's suggestion of Omega 3 did help her.

The Physio also recommended a special wedge cushion which can be bought online. It had lots of raised circles on it which would provide sensory feedback to reduce the wriggling. I think it was around £20 but school purchased one for her. She was also given a stress ball to fiddle with in class.

Apparently in Europe they don't have as many problems with attention span as children start school older.

I never would have thought even a few years ago that she would be doing so well now and her attention span has improved.

[Yamin151]

I've seen blu tax used quite a bit for fidgety children, good idea. Also, children who find it hard to keep still can really benefit from a weighted blanket. You can actually make one if you are handy, but they are great for helping children sit still, or stiller!