Our story... now six years on from 'failure'

[Mum007]

I can hardly believe that six years has now gone by since we received our disappointing news. Welll, actually, I should say 'devastating' news as that's what it felt like at the time. I felt really down for a long time afterwards. I'm writing this because I want to give some hope to those who do not receive the news they want this week.

I have a good, happy story to tell.

One of my last entries told how DS had had a rich and rewarding year 7 at his High School. This continued as he went up the school. One of the things that I had learned (maybe from this forum?) was that you should never let your child believe that the school that they attend is second best to another. We always told him that it was the right school for him, that he could be one of the high achievers there if he put his mind to it and that self-esteem and happiness were very important. We told him that it was better to be top of a High School than to be at the bottom of a grammar school. He believed this strongly and was very proud of his school; he became a great ambassador for them.

Realising the importance of a well-balanced CV in the absence of great academic results we allowed him to participate in numerous activities both internal and external to the school. I remain unconvinced that I would have paid as much attention to the necessity of these other kinds of achievement if he had attended a grammar school. 'No time! No time! Homework first! Got to get good grades! That's the most important thing!' He now has a pleasing CV detailing leadership skills, volunteering experience, teaching skills etc. etc. plus indeed other non-academic qualifications. Far more than I achieved myself.

DS also went on to achieve very well at GCSE. No, he didn't get a string of all A*/As but his results were very respectable indeed and he was one of the highest scorers at the school. The photo of him and me in the paper was like a dream come true for me. It had taken six years to prove that maybe the result of the 11+ had been wrong. Maybe some perceptive readers will have noticed a subtle use of the past tense with reference to his school? He has now moved on to a grammar school sixth form to do his A levels and has setlled in well. Although DS wanted to remain at his High School there were timetabling issues that meant he had to move. I'm really pleased with the move so far and am hoping that just as his High School helped him to reach his potential then maybe this school will too.

Good luck. Believe in your children and with your guidance they will go far regardless of the result on Wednesday.

[Rosy Pippin]

Thanks for posting

[PurpleDog]

That's lovely Mum007 - thanks for sharing!

[Mumof2boyskent]

Thank you for sharing your story, your DS is obviously a credit to you and you are understandably proud of him.

Things are quite often out of our control, but happen for a very good reason, hope he continues to thrive in the sixth form.

[relaxedMum77]

Ah, fantastic story...just last night i was saying to my DS how it could actually be more motivating to be top of the year at a High school rather than lower down/average at a GS. Positive thinking : what will be, will be... and it's up to us as Parents to make the outcome into something Positive regardless!!

[optimisticmom]

I can hardly believe that six years has now gone by since we received our disappointing news. Welll, actually, I should say 'devastating' news as that's what it felt like at the time. I felt really down for a long time afterwards. I'm writing this because I want to give some hope to those who do not receive the news they want this week.

I have a good, happy story to tell.

One of my last entries told how DS had had a rich and rewarding year 7 at his High School. This continued as he went up the school. One of the things that I had learned (maybe from this forum?) was that you should never let your child believe that the school that they attend is second best to another. We always told him that it was the right school for him, that he could be one of the high achievers there if he put his mind to it and that self-esteem and happiness were very important. We told him that it was better to be top of a High School than to be at the bottom of a grammar school. He believed this strongly and was very proud of his school; he became a great ambassador for them.

Realising the importance of a well-balanced CV in the absence of great academic results we allowed him to participate in numerous activities both internal and external to the school. I remain unconvinced that I would have paid as much attention to the necessity of these other kinds of achievement if he had attended a grammar school. 'No time! No time! Homework first! Got to get good grades! That's the most important thing!' He now has a pleasing CV detailing leadership skills, volunteering experience, teaching skills etc. etc. plus indeed other non-academic qualifications. Far more than I achieved myself.

DS also went on to achieve very well at GCSE. No, he didn't get a string of all A*/As but his results were very respectable indeed and he was one of the highest scorers at the school. The photo of him and me in the paper was like a dream come true for me. It had taken six years to prove that maybe the result of the 11+ had been wrong. Maybe some perceptive readers will have noticed a subtle use of the past tense with reference to his school? He has now moved on to a grammar school sixth form to do his A levels and has setlled in well. Although DS wanted to remain at his High School there were timetabling issues that meant he had to move. I'm really pleased with the move so far and am hoping that just as his High School helped him to reach his potential then maybe this school will too.

Good luck. Believe in your children and with your guidance they will go far regardless of the result on Wednesday.

Awesome story! thanks so much for taking time out to share and uplift many broken hearts.

Optimisticmom

[Mama H]

Thanks a million! What a useful post. There is a lot for me to take on board even though my son has passed his 11plus exams.

Please wish your son the very best, I do not think any academic results can compete with the confidence his secondary school experience has given him.

[kal12003]

Thanks for sharing! After Dd's result today (not a pass unfortunately), it's reassuring to hear good news can still be achieved.

[Mum007]

Thank you for your comments everyone. I appreciate them.

My congratulations to those whose DC passed today and my most heartfelt commiserations to those who did not. The children tried so hard and put so much effort in that it is soul-destroying not to have passed and the result can have a lasting impact on both you and them. Remember that they can succeed no matter what.

[rejim2]

Thank-you for sharing!!...