The day is fast approaching and my daughter is losing it!

Scorpio2111 · Post by **Scorpio2111** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:42 am

Well with only a few days to go, my daughter has lost the plot a little. She went to her tutor yesterday for a double lesson and the tutor gave her quite a hard Maths test. She only scored 56% - up until now she has been scoring 80% +, she had a few tears last night and she is quite scared now. She thinks she is going to muck it up. She is always confident and sails through tests without worrying or flapping at all. I feel so sorry for her. I am not looking forward to the next couple of months one little bit. I know you all must be feeling like this by now. My sister's boy did it last year and failed by 3 marks so she appealed and he got it to Grammar but it was a horrible time.

Ed's mum · Post by **Ed's mum** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 11:56 am

Did the tutor intentionally give her a hard test and tell you this? If so, it seems like bad timing! Has she been working too hard maybe through the holidays and feels a bit burned out? Can you perhaps think of something to do to calm her down and build her confidence? Her usual style is to sail through tests and her performance with the tutor sounds like a blip so you need to remind her of this.
Also, thinking of other situations like concerts and drama productions, the final rehearsal is usually a disaster and no reflection of how the actual performance will go...
How long has she got before the test date? Good luck with it.
I am currently dealing with my 11 year old who will happily play on his PlayStation all day without a thought to entrance exams and stomps around if anything slightly more cerebral is suggested!
Keep in touch.

Wallasey · Post by **Wallasey** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 12:14 pm

My daughter, who had been achieving consistently high scores, took a dip the week before her first test too. Her tutor said it is common for this to happen, and better then than in the week of the test! I felt she had had enough of practising and didn't ask her to do any more before doing the tests, to let her rest and feel refreshed. Whether this was the right thing to do, only time will tell...!

yoyo123 · Post by **yoyo123** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 1:04 pm

I'm using my last lessons to go over anything the children are unsure of, a bit of speed mental maths and some word/vocabulary work. I think it is too near teh date to start ratcheting up teh pressure.

Bexley Mum 2 · Post by **Bexley Mum 2** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 2:02 pm

Scorpio - what an annoying thing for your child's tutor to do. Funnily enough, the same thing happened to my son this year. He'd been doing really well with his tutor but at his last session before the Bexley tests in November his tutor gave him a really hard paper. My son is quite anxious anyway (the tutor knew that the main reason my son was going to him was not because I felt he needed the help, but to boost his confidence). It took a lot of effort from me to calm him down. He was extremely nervous before his tests but seemed to stay calm for the real thing. I'm sure once your daughter gets into the tests she'll relax and be fine. Good luck anyway!

herewegoagain · Post by **herewegoagain** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 6:03 pm

My dd has a week to go as well and is getting a bit fed up with the whole thing. I can't decide how much to do with her during this last week. She gets good marks on practice tests (average approx 85-90%) and I'm tempted just to relax off a bit. But then I wonder if doing this is just going to sacrifice those vital few marks! Any advice from those who've been through it all??? Thanks!

Scorpio2111 · Post by **Scorpio2111** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 6:07 pm

Thanks for all your responses, they have made me feel a little better, now I have to work on my daughter! Ed's Mum, yes the tutor intentionally gave her a harder one, she wants her to do it again Monday evening with her so that the 'ways of doing some of them' are fresh in her mind. I have to tell myself that the tutor knows her stuff, she has been great all year. My daughter is sitting Maths Tuesday morning, NVR the same day and then English and VR Wednesday. I am trying to keep positive for her, she is very much capable of Grammar school work, she is just that way (unlike my 2 sons who are totally the opposite and think that school is just somewhere to meet their mates). She loves learning and takes things in her stride, never getting the hump and persevering until she 'gets it'. She was only 10 at the end of August but the tutor says that it should work in her favour. She got all 5B's in her tests a few weeks ago so she is doing well so far, and that's the thing really, she is such a hard little worker who really wants to go to the Grammar.
This really is a horrible time isn't it?

Ed's mum · Post by **Ed's mum** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 6:13 pm

Yes, it's a dreadful, stressful, all-consuming time for us at the moment, although younger daughter suffering form unbelievably bad flu for the last two weeks isn't helping!!
Good luck to your daughter. What a clever girl. My son just got 5bs in his pre-christmas tests but he is nearly a year older (September baby).
Let your daughter know how well she is doing and trust the tutor. Make sure there is no pressure at home, difficult I know.

Bexley Mum 2 · Post by **Bexley Mum 2** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 6:20 pm

Dear Herewegoagain - with only a week to go I sincerely believe you should stop right now! I think the time remaining would be far better spent in ensuring that your daughter is happy, well-rested, well-fed and not feeling that the world will stop if she doesn't do well in her tests.

My second son did his 11+ in November and by this stage I would have stopped the practice papers. What I have done on each occasion however, is kept a list of a few key things to very casually remind my child about the day before each test. For example, I would check they know some key maths terminology (mode, mean, median, product, quotient etc) and with no. 2 son I asked him every day for a week when he would put an apostrophe in "its" - he clearly forgot in the test though!

My second son is also doing the Kent tests next week and we haven't done a stroke of practice since the beginning of November - I'm hoping it will all come back to him!

Good luck.

Scorpio2111 · Post by **Scorpio2111** » Thu Jan 03, 2008 6:48 pm

Bexley Mum - you have a tough time of it in your house don't you with all this 11+ stuff. The thought of going thrpough this more than once is a nightmare! My eldest son who is 16 was not at all interested in getting on in school, he still isn't, he is in the sixth form now but still just mosying along doing just enough to get by. My youngest son is 9 and very much the same as the 16 year old so I am pretty sure I will be only going through this once.

Ed's Mum my daughter has had this horrible flu thing as have me and Dad, right from Christmas morning would you believe, not a roast potato or sprout has passed my lips! I have been left with a rotten chest infection and should have gone back to work today, but I didn't. I am glad my daughter had it first as she has now more or less gotten over it. It's just a matter of getting the kids into a better bed time routine now as their bed times have gone out of the window over Christmas.

Our tutor says that 70% is roughly the pass mark but I believe they can higher or lower that depending on how many pass. Last year the girls Grammar was under subscribed by 65 places!