Put Downs from Teachers
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scatshouse
- Posts: 438
- Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2007 10:00 am
Put Downs from Teachers
Hi,
A teacher at my son's school today told him "I believe you've taken the 11+ is that right? Well with work like this you'll never pass".
Apparently he was told to write 5 quotes but he's adamant she only said 4 so only did 4. He was also kept behind to complete the fifth, which I think was enough. Why humiliate him in front of the class? She made no comment to the others who had only completed 4, they haven't taken the 11+.
This isn't the first time he's had comments like this, last year two other teachers also humiliated him in front of the class taunting him about grammar school, and how he won't get there. (Along the lines of "This one thinks he's going to ****** Grammar School". "Well he won't get there he's thick"). These two have now left the school, I don't know where to or why.
But since they now know the results (the school) and we don't, this has upset me somewhat. Is she trying to say he hasn't passed?
His school show no interest in the 11+, it is never mentioned. If you want your child to sit it you have to find out everything yourself and they sit it at another school, so why mention it now?
Incidentally, this wasn't his own teacher who regularly holds up his work as an example of how level 5 sats work should be completed.
I'd be grateful for any comments on how to handle this.
Thanks
Scatshouse.
A teacher at my son's school today told him "I believe you've taken the 11+ is that right? Well with work like this you'll never pass".
Apparently he was told to write 5 quotes but he's adamant she only said 4 so only did 4. He was also kept behind to complete the fifth, which I think was enough. Why humiliate him in front of the class? She made no comment to the others who had only completed 4, they haven't taken the 11+.
This isn't the first time he's had comments like this, last year two other teachers also humiliated him in front of the class taunting him about grammar school, and how he won't get there. (Along the lines of "This one thinks he's going to ****** Grammar School". "Well he won't get there he's thick"). These two have now left the school, I don't know where to or why.
But since they now know the results (the school) and we don't, this has upset me somewhat. Is she trying to say he hasn't passed?
His school show no interest in the 11+, it is never mentioned. If you want your child to sit it you have to find out everything yourself and they sit it at another school, so why mention it now?
Incidentally, this wasn't his own teacher who regularly holds up his work as an example of how level 5 sats work should be completed.
I'd be grateful for any comments on how to handle this.
Thanks
Scatshouse.
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KES Parent
Yes, quite agree. A letter to the head teacher setting out what happened and asking what he/she intends to do about it. If this turns out to be nothing, or something completely ineffective, a letter of complaint to the Chair of Governors who will certainly take action. This is bullying of the worst possible kind (barring actual bodily harm), by a person supposed to be in loco parentis against a young child, and completely and utterly unacceptable.Guest55 wrote:A letter of complaint - totally unacceptable to humiliate children -
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Bewildered
- Posts: 1806
- Joined: Mon Feb 20, 2006 2:29 pm
- Location: Berkshire
Totally agree!!
Re-iterating Kes Parent...
Put it in writing, stick to the facts, don't give opinions, and ask why this happened, and how they are going to address it. Should get a written reply within 14-21days. If not satisfied then write to the Chair of Governors. DO mention how upsetting the whole incident has been!
The key is PUT IT IN WRITING!!!
Re-iterating Kes Parent...
Put it in writing, stick to the facts, don't give opinions, and ask why this happened, and how they are going to address it. Should get a written reply within 14-21days. If not satisfied then write to the Chair of Governors. DO mention how upsetting the whole incident has been!
The key is PUT IT IN WRITING!!!
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proud mum x2
- Posts: 609
- Joined: Mon Dec 31, 2007 7:35 pm
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scatshouse
- Posts: 438
- Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2007 10:00 am
Hi,
Thank you all for your replies, I was horrified when my son told me what was said but wasn't sure if I was overreacting.
I know, and they know, that he is more than capable (level 5's year 5, predicted high level 5's year 6, g&t register for maths and science etc.).So I feel there is absolutely no excuse for putting him down like this.
Do you think I should speak to the teacher and get her side and then put it in writing to the head? Or just go ahead and write the letter? Last year I tackled the teachers concerned myself so nothing was officially done.
Thank you all again, I think I just wanted confirmation that I wasn't overreacting.
Scatshouse.
Thank you all for your replies, I was horrified when my son told me what was said but wasn't sure if I was overreacting.
I know, and they know, that he is more than capable (level 5's year 5, predicted high level 5's year 6, g&t register for maths and science etc.).So I feel there is absolutely no excuse for putting him down like this.
Do you think I should speak to the teacher and get her side and then put it in writing to the head? Or just go ahead and write the letter? Last year I tackled the teachers concerned myself so nothing was officially done.
Thank you all again, I think I just wanted confirmation that I wasn't overreacting.
Scatshouse.
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KES Parent
Personally I wouldn't bother to get involved in a discussion with the teacher, who will doubtless imply overreaction on the part of your child. I would just write down the facts as your son told you them. I had a similar situation with my son at primary school and because I knew he was a truthful boy with a highly developed sense of justice that is what I did. In the end he was the only person in the whole sorry saga who stuck to his version of events, while the teacher concerned accused him of lying and other staff present conveniently "hadn't heard" what was said to him. I had to go to the Chair of Governors - luckily it was my son's last week or so at the school! Best of luck - at least you may save someone else's child from this kind of treatment. It is great that he has told you what happened, and shows that he knows he can count on you to support him. Some children would be so cut up by the humiliation they wouldn't be able to bring themselves to tell anyone.
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scatshouse
- Posts: 438
- Joined: Wed Sep 26, 2007 10:00 am
Hi KES parent,
Yes, I'm lucky? in that both my children tell me everything (usually word for word which can be tedious).
I also, unknown to them
, go through their msn chat logs each night to check everything is above board and tonight four of my son's friends have commented on the teacher's remarks, so I now know it is absolutely true.
I'll post on how I get on as soon as I know any more.
Scatshouse.
Yes, I'm lucky? in that both my children tell me everything (usually word for word which can be tedious).
I also, unknown to them
, go through their msn chat logs each night to check everything is above board and tonight four of my son's friends have commented on the teacher's remarks, so I now know it is absolutely true.I'll post on how I get on as soon as I know any more.
Scatshouse.
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kegs dad 2
- Posts: 89
- Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 12:08 pm
Hi Scatshouse
I really agree with everyone who has posted above.
My younger son was bullied terribly by a teacher when he was younger. She thoroughly enjoyed humiliating him in front of the entire class, demeaning his work and him personally at every opportunity.
We tried to discuss the situation with her rationally, but her attitude towards him just became increasingly aggressive as a result. It wasn't long before the other children in the class started to follow the teacher's example and bully him as well. Before long he was socially isolated and very deeply unhappy.
Our relationship with the teacher broke down completely, so we took the situation to the Deputy Head, who just accused us of imagining everything and being difficult parents. We then went to the Head, who seemed to have his hands tied, as the teacher was long-serving (she has now finally retired) but he did manage to curb her worst excesses.
My son has taken years to regain the confidence that he had before his year with that teacher, and we have been lucky to have some incredibly kind teachers to help him with that along the way.
In hindsight I should have contacted the Chairman of Governors, and made a HUGE fuss, because the teacher had a reputation for this sort of behaviour, and she continued to do this to other children until her retirement. I will always regret that I didn't do more, but somehow we always tend to feel that we should "be polite" and stay on good terms with teachers.
Teachers can be bullies too. You are lucky that your son is of an age when he can tell you rationally what is happening to him. Just as we tell our children to, you must blow the whistle on her and keep blowing it until someone listens and takes decisive action.
Denise
I really agree with everyone who has posted above.
My younger son was bullied terribly by a teacher when he was younger. She thoroughly enjoyed humiliating him in front of the entire class, demeaning his work and him personally at every opportunity.
We tried to discuss the situation with her rationally, but her attitude towards him just became increasingly aggressive as a result. It wasn't long before the other children in the class started to follow the teacher's example and bully him as well. Before long he was socially isolated and very deeply unhappy.
Our relationship with the teacher broke down completely, so we took the situation to the Deputy Head, who just accused us of imagining everything and being difficult parents. We then went to the Head, who seemed to have his hands tied, as the teacher was long-serving (she has now finally retired) but he did manage to curb her worst excesses.
My son has taken years to regain the confidence that he had before his year with that teacher, and we have been lucky to have some incredibly kind teachers to help him with that along the way.
In hindsight I should have contacted the Chairman of Governors, and made a HUGE fuss, because the teacher had a reputation for this sort of behaviour, and she continued to do this to other children until her retirement. I will always regret that I didn't do more, but somehow we always tend to feel that we should "be polite" and stay on good terms with teachers.
Teachers can be bullies too. You are lucky that your son is of an age when he can tell you rationally what is happening to him. Just as we tell our children to, you must blow the whistle on her and keep blowing it until someone listens and takes decisive action.
Denise
