Would you ever share their IQ results with your child?

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Bookmark
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Joined: Thu Oct 24, 2013 4:02 pm

Would you ever share their IQ results with your child?

Post by Bookmark »

Just wondering what other parents think.
DS had an IQ test done years ago, part of an EP report we had to have for him, outside the UK. I would not have taken the initiative otherwise. However the results are interesting and revealing and they have been useful for the decisions we have made about his education.
I have never told DS what kind of results he had. I am now unsure, should I ever show him the report and when? Could it be a confidence booster?
What have other parents done?
PurpleDuck
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Re: Would you ever share their IQ results with your child?

Post by PurpleDuck »

We also had an EP report for DS a few years back and discussed most of its content with the DS. He spent good 3 hours being assessed, so we felt it was only right for him to know what the outcome was. It did turn out to be a big confidence booster for him.
It felt like I hit rock bottom; suddenly, there was knocking from beneath... (anon.)
scary mum
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Re: Would you ever share their IQ results with your child?

Post by scary mum »

It can work the other way. One of my children's achievements do not match their supposed IQ. It's not just about IQ, its what you are able to do with it. Would your child feel like a failure if they knew they had a high IQ but was not able to carry that through to the (sadly) important exam results?
scary mum
Amber
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Re: Would you ever share their IQ results with your child?

Post by Amber »

I found out my supposed IQ when I was in my 30s because I had to do some tests at work (not in a teaching job at that point - it hasn't come to testing teachers yet, thankfully). It was surprisingly upsetting to find out and frankly I would rather not know - it made me question everything I had ever done and agonise over choices I had made. I am not glad that I know. Some of the more subtle differences in types of ability were mildly interesting but nothing I couldn't have worked out for myself.

I chose not to tell my children the results of their CATs tests as I felt it would not benefit them in any way and they would compare with each other. As Scary says, the achievements don't necessarily match up anyway - personality is so much more important . So for me it's a very simple answer - no. If they want to find out for themselves one day, let them get tested. It isn't something I think we should be encouraging children to think matters.
PurpleDuck
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Re: Would you ever share their IQ results with your child?

Post by PurpleDuck »

scary mum wrote:It can work the other way. One of my children's achievements do not match their supposed IQ. It's not just about IQ, its what you are able to do with it. Would your child feel like a failure if they knew they had a high IQ but was not able to carry that through to the (sadly) important exam results?
Yes, it can work the other way round and it depends entirely on individual circumstances, I think. If we felt that there was a risk of a negative impact of knowing what's in the report, we would have been very selective in the extent to which we shared the contents of the report with him.

I am not suggesting at all that if a child is assessed, parents should always tell their DC the result. Bookmark's question was
Bookmark wrote:Could it be a confidence booster? What have other parents done?
and my post was just an answer to that question. I said what we did, and how it worked out in our case - nothing more than that. :)
It felt like I hit rock bottom; suddenly, there was knocking from beneath... (anon.)
Catseye
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Re: Would you ever share their IQ results with your child?

Post by Catseye »

Bookmark wrote:DS had an IQ test done years ago, part of an EP report we had to have for him, outside the UK.
At what age was this IQ done.

No IQ test is reliable under the age of 16 years.

Intelligence is not fixed at birth, nurturing has a bigger effect than genetics (although genetics does have an effect)

Epigenetics the hottest thing in genetics tells you why?

http://www.i-sis.org.uk/No_Genes_for_In ... Genome.php" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science ... d-DNA.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Amber
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Re: Would you ever share their IQ results with your child?

Post by Amber »

Being told you are really clever can I am sure be a huge confidence booster; or it can be a source of pressure. Compare it with looks - being told that you are really good-looking could make you smug, boastful, worried that you can't stay that way, that everyone is lying, or just that you have been blessed by nature.

I think for me the main point is that the child didn't choose to be tested, nor can s/he understand the implications of the results, nor un-know them. If a test says that you might find numbers tougher than words - would that be an excuse? A reason to stop trying? 'Oh well, I can't be expected to do that anyway as my brain isn't wired for it'. If it says you are all-round brilliant and then you struggle with something, what then? 'Oh they must have got that wrong then, I can't do this'; or even 'I am being badly taught, for I am very clever and this is meant to be easy for me'. There is some evidence that children who are told that they are gifted when young don't take risks when they are in their mid-late teens, and risks are necessary for higher attainment. And if the results don't show great giftedness - well why tell a child of its potential limitations when it is still so young? Who knows what that does?

Purple Duck, I read from the last line of your reply that you took my post as a personal criticism. That wasn't intended; we all do what we believe to be right in the circumstances we find ourselves. I too was speaking about my own experience, which may not be transferrable, and have never had my children professionally assessed.
PurpleDuck
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Re: Would you ever share their IQ results with your child?

Post by PurpleDuck »

Amber wrote:Purple Duck, I read from the last line of your reply that you took my post as a personal criticism. That wasn't intended; we all do what we believe to be right in the circumstances we find ourselves. I too was speaking about my own experience, which may not be transferrable, and have never had my children professionally assessed.
Amber - thank you and no, I didn't take it as criticism. In fact, I agree with what you said. I more or less cross-posted with you, so I only read your post after I had submitted mine. I know these sort of issues can be very sensitive, so that last line was my attempt to make sure no-one thinks I'm trying to pass a judgement on how things should be done.
We had our DS assessed on advice from school as they thought he was dyslexic and the report confirmed that. The IQ assessment just happened to be a part of the overall thing and I didn't even realise it would be included. As for me, I have never had a similar test and to be honest, I am not particularly tempted! :)
It felt like I hit rock bottom; suddenly, there was knocking from beneath... (anon.)
Proud_Dad
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Joined: Fri Oct 11, 2013 9:55 am

Re: Would you ever share their IQ results with your child?

Post by Proud_Dad »

On the whole I probably agree with Amber that its generally best not to know for the same reasons she gave. In particular if you've got more than one child I would definitely advise against testing and telling results. Siblings can be very competitive and even a difference of +1 in scores could cause issues if they knew about it!

There are exceptions though and I think PurpleDuck's son's case is a good example. I can see that it might help him if he knew that despite having dyslexia he has a higher than average IQ. Similarly it could help a child who has low self esteem or thinks that they're "stupid" to have "proof" that they're not.

The other factor to think about before telling an individual child is what their IQ score actually is! Knowing that you've got an IQ of say 120 may be a good thing. You're above average intelligence and bright enough to do whatever you want, but still need to work hard to succeed etc.

Alternatively if someone has an IQ below 100 or greater than 140 they're better off not knowing IMO.
salsa
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Joined: Tue Sep 03, 2013 10:59 am

Re: Would you ever share their IQ results with your child?

Post by salsa »

I would be careful about telling your son for all the reasons explained by the other members as it can backfire.

IQ tests these days tell you about your strengths and weaknesses. The danger is that you may self limit by thinking that your brain should only do well at your strengths. The fact is that if you practise anything, you get better at it. I am a big fan of Carol Dweck with her Growth Mindset approach.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carol_Dweck" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;


I agree with PurpleDuck and the reasons given to tell a child about their ability. However, for a normally developing child with a high IQ, there may not be a need to tell them as they may have seen how quickly they learn or compared themselves to their peers. Of course, this all goes to pot when they are at a selective environment with children of similar or higher IQs.
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