OK, unless I've commented below.

Karma67 wrote:
We would be grateful if you consider this appeal
Not "this appeal" but "this request for a review".
Quote:
Headteacher recommendation for Grammar school suitability is 1= Exceptionally highly able and so very highly recommended.
I would omit the definition - they know what a '1' means'!
Quote:
Herts Reading Age: 14.01 (September 2017)
Vernon Spelling Age: 15.10+ (September 2017)
Suggest you omit. It's getting too detailed.
Quote:
GL Assessment: Verbal Reasoning - Standardised Score - 12 (09/02/2016) and Non-Verbal Reasoning -112 (11/02/2016)
12???
(112 doesn't sound too high either!)
Quote:
Should I put end of YR 3,4,and 5 as well???...they are on the HT statement)
No, best not to regurgitate all the details on the headteacher's summary sheet. (Mary's letter was originally written for an appeal which is less structured than a review, so for an appeal it can be useful if the parent summarises all the academic evidence.)
For a review I would just highlight some of the main points.
Quote:
DS's Great-Grandmother, who he had a very close relationship with and saw most days, died suddenly 2 weeks before he sat the 11+ test, and we feel this had a negative impact on his mindset prior and during his 11+test.
Does the head say she was aware of this? Or that the school noticed any change during the 2 week period? If not, I would omit because I'm afraid it won't carry any weight.
Quote:
We hope the panel will be prepared to view that these extenuating circumstances and supporting information are sufficient evidence, and recognise that this 11+ exam result does not reflect DS's true academic abilities.
I would add one more sentence:
We would respectfully ask you to weigh up the headteacher's comment: 'The way the 11+ is administered is very different to how DS performs best ........ we believe he is an able child who would be academically suitable in a grammar school.'
Hope this helps - but don't worry about it too much. The headteacher's summary sheet will matter much more than anything the parent writes!