Top state grammar vs top independent offer

[purpletulip1212]

All
I have had invaluable info from this forum so never actually felt a need to post questions since almost all of it is already on here. I am in a bit of a dilemma in understanding the real benefits of sending a child to a top independent as against a top grammar which offers opportunities not only in academics but also in sports, debating etc. What is actually the reason that people are willing to pay that extra. I know a lot of parents who do not have a choice and pay because their child did not get into a grammar but I am referring particularly to when you have both choices.

DS has an offer from two top independents both with scholarship ( not much money wise but that is all they offer I've been told). Offer day is round the corner but I will not have time to make decisions at that stage so trying to gather info now. Many thanks!

[Daogroupie]

There are many reasons that people do this but mostly it is because they believe that the private school offers them something that the state school does not.

Sometimes it is something that they feel they might need in the future.

One of our local private schools tells parents that they have an "old boy" in any career that their ds might like to consider and they can arrange "support" from the "old boy"

Sometimes it is a focus on an sport that the state school does not not offer.

I find that some parents who start in the private system do not even look at the state alternatives at secondary. Others think their prep will "prep" them for the state selectives (which they do not) and end up staying in private education because they miss out on a place.

There are also some parents who feel that only private schools will give their students a "like minded" peer group.

We have had parents on here who have openly stated that their dcs will only be able to speak "nicely" if they go to private school.

Sadly I know other parents who have pulled their dcs out of school because they have been bullied.

There is also the class size issue. Some parents feel their students will do better in smaller classes.

Each parent who is making this decision should look carefully at what the school offers and what their dc is interested in.

It is only worth paying for private school if your dc will receive "something" above and beyond what the state school offers.

DG

[scary mum]

Well said DG. I was worried this would descend into a state Vs private argument!

[Moon unit]

There is lots of debating in state schools too.

[purpletulip1212]

Thanks as always DAOgroupie. That’s very insightful. How does the alumni compare at top grammar schools compared to independent ones? We are happy IF he gets into the Grammar we have listed as first choice but we don’t know until we’ve seen the confirmation. The independent he has got into is very academic but I’m still unable to determine whether at Uni or career level being in an independent might help?
Just to clarify I definitely don’t want to start any arguments about independent or grammar since only trying to get perspective. Thanks again

[Guest55]

It is only worth paying for private school if your dc will receive "something" above and beyond what the state school offers.

I am genuinely puzzled as to why people pay and what this 'something' might be.

Private schools have no admission rules to follow and are not really subject to 'proper' inspections. They can massage their data in a way state school cannot - no progress data to scrutinise for example.

Their teachers do not have to be qualified either; just because you pay [yes I know we al pay for state education] does not mean it is better. Caveat emptor!

[Sla212]

Well said DG. I was worried this would descend into a state Vs private argument!

No doubt it will, the usual anti-indie brigade will arrive soon

[loobylou]

That "something" is very family dependent. I personally can't see the value in paying but I know people who chose indies over grammars for all sorts of reasons - "nicer facilities and grounds" being a very popular one. I don't understand it but different people have different perceptions as to what's important to them and their child and what's worth paying for.

[Guest55]

Really? Nicer facilities and grounds - well that rules out a lot of Private schools! Being taught in a 'hut' is an offering at two local ones and a lovely lawn they aren't allowed to step on .. hmm.

[mad?]

Each parent who is making this decision should look carefully at what the school offers and what their dc is interested in.DG

This is key. Do not make a decision on anything other than this. It does not matter what type of school a DC goes to if they are unhappy there.
FWIW in our case we chose indie as the journey was massively quicker and simpler (and with hindsight this was a wise decision), neither we nor DD could bear the thought of a single sex school when the crunch came, and DD2 had a particular sporting bent which the indie were happy accommodate with time off for national/international competitions etc which our alternative grammar were less supportive about. That said our local comp were happy to accommodate this so it really does depend on the school and not the sector, and your child not ours.Good luck.

ETA Do not think for one minute about Alumni etc DC need to be able to make it on their own and any good school will focus on enabling them to do this. Just because the CEO of BIGCO is a former alumni and came to do a talk at the school does not mean he is going to give your DS a job. Just because one year 20 kids got into Oxbridge does not mean your child will do, even if for some reason in years to come that is what he wants.