Exclusion

mum72 · Post by **mum72** » Sat May 03, 2008 7:34 pm

Wasn't sure where to put this?

My 9 year son recently returned from a school residential trip. An incident occured which resulted ina group of boys including mine had a fight with some boys from another school. On their return the parents of the boys were informed that they would be excluded from school for one day because of their behaviour.
My concern is that we as parents were not warned that this could happen. If i had been told then i would have gone and collected my child and he would have missed the rest of the trip instead of having an exclusion on his school record.
I am all for punishing this type of behaviour but i can't help but think that this was not normal circumstances, being their first trip away from home etc. Had the incident happened at school then it would have been a warning followed by possible exclusion and although my son may have been warned we as parents were not aware of any issues.

Any thoughts would be greatly received.

Guest55 · Post by **Guest55** » Sat May 03, 2008 8:15 pm

In my experience a fight always leads to exclusion wherever it happens.

I would question the level of supervision from the school and ask for a full investigation of how this was allowed to happen.

perplexed · Post by **perplexed** » Sat May 03, 2008 10:51 pm

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but I think the school was right to exclude, and I think it was a good thing that you did not have the option of taking your son home and avoiding an exclusion. I would not worry about a one day exclusion on your son's record. It is usually schools, not parents, that worry about exclusion records. I would worry if the behaviour recurs, but hopefully not if he was as upset by the exclusion as you were. This is the reason for the exclusion.

I think I have not fully understood your post, but it seems to suggest you knew that your son was going to be in a fight and if you had known he was going to be excluded you would have collected him before it happened? Otherwise, how would collecting him from the trip have saved him an exclusion?

I am sure that the school rules, and common sense, would indicate that something like fighting could result in an exclusion. So I don't think anyone would accept an argument " I wasn't warned, so that wasn't fair".

Also, I don't think that this kind of excuse would help your son understand why his behaviour was wrong, and that a punishment was merited.

katel · Post by **katel** » Sat May 03, 2008 11:17 pm

Are you questioning whether he was involved? If so, then you should press for a proper investigation. If you aren't, then I'm afraid I don't see the debate. He was in a fight. He got excluded. Seems fair enough to me!

Guest55 · Post by **Guest55** » Sun May 04, 2008 9:29 am

As I said my only question would be how was a fight allowed to happen?

If they sneaked out to have a fight - that's one thing. If they were in a communal area the teachers should have been supervising.

mum72 · Post by **mum72** » Sun May 04, 2008 5:06 pm

Thanks for your replies.
I am fully in support of exclusion for fighting. But as mentioned how was it allowed to escalate to such a degree? It happened a a disco full of kids and supposed supervision. i think there had been a lot of name calling in the lead up and then it all just got out of hand.
We have a meeting regarding the incident on Tuesday when we will be asking what action was takento stop the problem arising.
Incidently the other boys were yr 7s my son is yr 5.

mum72 · Post by **mum72** » Sun May 04, 2008 5:11 pm

BTW will the fact that he has an exclusion on his school record affect his future education choices?
I am not convinced that he really understands the seriousness of exclusion and is more concerned that the other boys will be punished as much as him.

Guest55 · Post by **Guest55** » Sun May 04, 2008 5:20 pm

A one-day exclusion shouldn't be a problem to a future secondary admission -

katel · Post by **katel** » Sun May 04, 2008 8:20 pm

Am I being unreasonable to suggest that the fighting is more of a problem than the exclusion? You don't seem particularly concerned about his behaviour - more about the consequences of his punishment!

perplexed · Post by **perplexed** » Sun May 04, 2008 8:27 pm

Yes, I agree it could read that way (that Mum (and son) are more concerned about about the exclusion and its fairness than about fighting).

We don't know the full story, so this may not be the case. But if I was this mother, I would be concerned, and be checking out other websites on behaviour management. I do not think the little boy's thoughts about whether the others are being treated the same way as him are the way forward either.

I think Mum needs to think about what she is going to do at home to reinforce what the school does if anything like this ever happens again, and she should never seem questioning of the school or the fairness of it. The message seems to have got lost that fighting is wrong, you do not have to take part in it.