So my son has achieved in my eyes a great set of gcse’ results. Are they all 9’s ? No far from it but I am as pleased because they are good enough for now and appear good enough for the sorts of career he is aspiring towards. I know in my heart he could have put more effort in and achieved higher grades however I see him in the round; 2 years ago he was hospitalised and diagnosed with a life long condition and had potentially life altering surgery which luckily went better than expected.

I could ask for a remark in a couple of subjects but I suspect a better approach would be to ask a child to reflect and learn from their results. Did they really use their time wisely and re read questions and check their working out or rush through and walk away? They might learn more through doing this than getting that remark. I am not saying don’t go for that remark if it really matters...just there are other perspectives to consider.

Moving forward is maybe more important to learn from mistakes and survive and grow through them and not dwell on them. Post 16 our teenagers still have a lot of learning to do about the adult world and how to negotiate their place in it. Their mental and physical health are just as important if not more so than their grades. Too much focus on early academic performance and worshipping of children’s achievement might not be healthy way to begin adult life.

It’s easy to get caught up in perfectionism and feel life is some sort of race to be won; that can be difficult for young people to live up to all the time and can sometimes make for a rather rigid and unforgiving personality. One thing I notice in truly talented people is a dash humility, a real passion for their subject and their ability to work with others collaboratively. So don’t stress to much if those grades are not quite as you’d want them to be, learning to make mistakes, reflect on them and survive them fosters resilience, and can help develop the questioning skills and enquiring mind needed for higher education.

Hello DC17C

Well done to your DS. And most importantly, I am glad that his surgery went so well! You , your DS, your partner have lived through very difficult months.

Best wishes to your DS!

Arghh..Original post edited ...apologies all round...note to self to check what I am posting especially when cutting and pasting

Thank you Jane Eyre...yes we ..but especially DS went through some tough times. Good to be out the other side. I live with that nag of it all coming back but I keep that to myself as much as I can. Xx

+ 1. Well said OP.

My dd did very well in the subjects she loves and not quite as well in the ones she struggles with; that's ok by me and it's ok by her as well, more importantly. She might not be a grade 9 in everything but she's funny, really interested in the world around her and knows a lot about different stuff. You can have a great conversation with her and she's independent minded. She's musical - she has taught herself to play loads of nice songs on the piano, but accepts - and can even laugh about the fact - that she isn't a very good singer! that's maturity - not scoring all 9s and having your parents brag relentlessly about it. Battling a serious illness and coming back from that will equip your ds in ways we cannot imagine DC17. Good for him.

What a great post, OP. Well done to your son

Thank you, glad you liked it. It has been a roller coaster of a ride and DS is taking a risk going to a new UTC for A levels but we love the environment, the fact it is not too big and the staff are enthusiastic about making it work.

I've found t is always particularly rewarding when students struggle against ill health or SEN or similar challenges and achieve against the 'conventional' odds.

Do stick around

Thank you I wondering if it was time to move on but I might stick around a little longer

Great to hear of those who struggle on through challenges and particularly of better news after health crisis.

With experience we realise that worries about the odd mark here and there are usually a waste of energy, although sometimes they do really matter.

However, while a string of top grades are by no means the holy grail we should still (privately!) celebrate the academic achievement of those who do excel through hard work and not undervalue them.

It can be quite hard to get the balance right between celebrating hard work and success and reassuring that its not critical!