Life after 11 plus disappointment

Eleven Plus (11+) in Yorkshire

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spahm
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Sep 30, 2018 9:36 pm

Life after 11 plus disappointment

Post by spahm »

My DS didnt pass either Heckmondwike or Halifax Grammar tests.

Hugely dissapointing as my eldest is at CH.

My son is a bright lad but unfortunately has concentration issues.

Both my husband and I are highly educated professionals.

We have a good comprehensive which he will go to now.

I hope this exam is not a marker of his future success.

I would appreciate any advice from those who have been in this position before.

How did your children do in future years?
Guest55
Posts: 16254
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:21 pm

Re: Life after 11 plus disappointment

Post by Guest55 »

I was at university with a number of people who 'failed' their 11+; it should not make any difference. I honestly believe that good students do well wherever they go - your 'attitude' to this 'blip' will be crucial.
psych mum
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Oct 20, 2018 9:44 am

Re: Life after 11 plus disappointment

Post by psych mum »

I absolutely agree with the answer above. Been at the university with people coming from various backgrounds and achievements, in the end it's just you and your journey steered by your attitude.. this is just 'one' of those things that happen in life... and for some people not being there is more tailored to their needs rather than being among the crowd who made it to an esteemed place at one point but their journey was meant to be entirely different than yours, hope it helps x
Stokers
Posts: 358
Joined: Tue Aug 21, 2012 9:48 pm

Re: Life after 11 plus disappointment

Post by Stokers »

DS1 didn't get into any of the selective schools he applied for. Even 'worse' , he had to watch as his sister and brother got into two of the most 'prestigious' super selectives in the country. He went to the local comprehensive. On August 23rd, he got his GCSE results. Straight 8s and 9s. He's now at one of the best 6th Form colleges in the country and thinking about his application to medical school next year. Where you go to school does matter. What you do and how hard you work matters more.
mitasol
Posts: 2756
Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2008 9:59 am

Re: Life after 11 plus disappointment

Post by mitasol »

You have to remember that they are still very young and the test is just a snapshot of their performance on one day. Children bounce back quickly and with your support he can fulfill his potential wherever he ends up.
scary mum
Posts: 8842
Joined: Mon Mar 15, 2010 3:45 pm

Re: Life after 11 plus disappointment

Post by scary mum »

The vast majority of children in this country don't have access to grammar schools & it doesn't seem to do them much harm, generally.
scary mum
Thewaitinggame
Posts: 53
Joined: Sat Sep 30, 2017 9:11 pm

Re: Life after 11 plus disappointment

Post by Thewaitinggame »

Spahm
I’m sorry to hear your news and understand your disappointment/ frustration, having experienced success in your working life. It’s a snapshot on one day and doesn’t measure diligence, tenacity, kindness, adaptability, confidence and teamwork etc. You have a good school as an option. I hope he makes the most of it and with supportive parents, I’m sure he will.
bondgirl
Posts: 802
Joined: Wed Sep 21, 2011 11:30 am

Re: Life after 11 plus disappointment

Post by bondgirl »

I agree with the comments above. My DD didn’t get into the superselective GS in our borough and opted to go to the local comp (could have gone to a GS in another borough but preferred the girls’ comp). She worked hard, went to a good GS for sixth form and is now in her first choice university. When I look at her contemporaries who went to a mix of comps, GSs and indies, those who wanted to have ended up at great universities. Where they went at 11 seems almost irrelevant in retrospect.
stroudydad
Posts: 2246
Joined: Sat Oct 08, 2011 2:25 pm

Re: Life after 11 plus disappointment

Post by stroudydad »

Ok so this may sound a little philosophical but it is true..
life is a journey - one in which there are only 2 sure things. You were born, you will die - A start and a destination.
If I wish to go from my house to the end of the estate I live in there are 8 different routes I can take! Some are longer than others, some very quick, different routes are what is for sure, if you keep travelled you get there in the end..
3princesses
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2018 8:08 pm

Re: Life after 11 plus disappointment

Post by 3princesses »

My DD did not pass. DD1 currently at NHGS.
How do you move on after this when looking at Gcse pass rates for other schools they hardly compare. Everyone is telling me she will do well as shes a bright girl in top sets, I think the pressure got to her. I still cant help feeling a little sick, 5 more marks and she would have got in!
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