How do I know if 11+ & Grammar Ed. are best for my 2nd k

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M&A's Mum
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Joined: Mon Sep 08, 2008 4:26 pm
Location: Essex

How do I know if 11+ & Grammar Ed. are best for my 2nd k

Post by M&A's Mum »

Hi all

Warning... I am about to ramble... but I am so scared of doing the wrong thing.

History.. I have a 15 year old daughter (now yr 11), who is "gifted". And a 10 yr old son... who is bright (or so I am told), but I don't know if he is just bright, under motivated, or not as interested as his sister. I do not think he is "gifted".

Firstly.. the "gifted" thing. To me and my daughter, this has seemed a horribly ironic term at times. It has often felt to be anything but a gift.

She 'thinks' differently to most of us. She gets from a-z in a way alien to most people... yet a lot quicker. Alongside the academic brilliance (which btw, was not apparent at home, often not apparent in the classroom, only tests and certain exercises in school flagged it up), came a social awkwardness & behavioural problems. She's through most of this now... thankfully. The Grammar School was the place for her to flourish. To not feel "odd"... and she has loved living, breathing and totally immersing herself in the work since the day she started there. She excels in Maths, Physics, Chemistry & Engineering (she is currently doing A level Engineering).

Then there is the boy! A totally different kettle of fish. Whilst bright, he is not particularly turned on by academics. I have to battle with him to do homework, if he had his way it would be playstation and sport 24/7. So with minimal effort, he manages to be in the top 2 or 3 in his class in most subjects. But the battles I have to have with him at home just to ensure the small amount of homework he has at the moment gets done, are awful, stressful and thankless.

And now we are approaching the 11+. Its just I am not sure Grammar is the place for him. I've kind of resigned myself to him doing the exam, and see how he does, before tearing out my hair trying to make decisions I may not have to make.

If the local secondary schools were up to standard, I suspect there wouldn't be an issue, that's the problem. They are not up to standard. He definitely needs discipline.. and a grammar will provide that.

Am I doing him an injustice in thinking this kind of heavy duty academic education may not be his thing?

Have any of you withdrawn a child from grammar school for similar reasons?

Am I worrying over nothing? :?:
Guest55
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Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:21 pm

Post by Guest55 »

I would think your boy is like many boys! Probably bored by Primary school - he sounds as if he needs to be with other bright children to 'engage' him in learning.

Go for a Grammar place - if you think differently at the end of Y7 then I will eat my (theoretical) 'hat'. :lol:
melinda
Posts: 226
Joined: Fri Mar 07, 2008 8:40 pm
Location: surrey

Post by melinda »

Yes I totally agree with Guest55 - he sounds like my son in many ways and he is thriving at grammar (well I say thriving, he has just started, but he loves it). Neither is he gifted, but just a normal, forgetful, sport mad, computer addicted boy (I could go on!!) :lol:
Good luck, the grammar/11 plus road seems to be a tough option even with gifted kids!
Ed's mum
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Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2007 11:47 am
Location: Warwickshire.

Post by Ed's mum »

Totally agree from a teacher's viewpoint and from personal experience! Everything you have written just screams BOY!!!!
perplexed
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Joined: Wed Jan 02, 2008 1:18 pm
Location: kent

Post by perplexed »

I don't know how one could decide whether a bright child who does not work very much would be better off at a comprehensive or a grammar school. So I would go for the better school.
Sally-Anne
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Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:10 pm
Location: Buckinghamshire

Post by Sally-Anne »

Oh, he is definitely a boy isnt he? :D

If you choose the alternative to grammar, you may find that he will be even more bored, and his interest in academic work will be even less than it is now. A downward spiral.

He is in the top of his year group without trying, so even if the homework is a battle, he should achieve the results at a Grammar School without too much difficulty.

If the alternative schools are also poor on discipline, you could find yourself with a huge problem on your hands in a couple of years time.

Grammar seems to be the answer to me.
Road Runner
Posts: 410
Joined: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:32 pm

Mel x

Post by Road Runner »

Definitely go for the Grammar option.

He actually sounds like he is doing very well at school and would cope with a bit more focus and instruction which he will get from GS(it certainly worked for my son now year 9). I suspect you cannot help comparing him to your gifted dd but remember 'accademically' she has that extra something but they can't all have it.

He'll be fine

:P

Mel
Belinda
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2007 10:57 pm

Post by Belinda »

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Last edited by Belinda on Wed Oct 31, 2012 11:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
yoyo123
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Joined: Mon Jun 18, 2007 3:32 pm
Location: East Kent

Post by yoyo123 »

:lol:

You have my family!!

My son hates school (year 11) he seems to have little motivation but is naturally bright. he was allowed to coast merrily in primary and unlike his sister seems to have little work ethic. BUT in his own way he is just as clever as her, very quick witted and has a great deal of common sense.

i think that his present grammar school may not be ideal, but I think he would have put in even less effort in another school. I am hoping that he will eventually settle , maybe just not in the usual routine of school, uni etc.

I would go for grammar if I were you
T.i.p.s.y

Post by T.i.p.s.y »

M&A, I think your son is a classic boy and classic baby of the family! :roll: I'm sure he'll be fine at GS but if you find homework stressful maybe you should find a school where they do all there homework (prep) in school. Unfortunately this tends to only be at some independent schools but some state schools may offer this too. As for sport, even at 7 my youngest was getting 3 hours of games/pe every day at an independent, which might enthuse your son.

My son has just started boarding school and we can visit them every night to help them with their homework should we wish. I always manage to turn up after he's finished :P and thats the way I intend to keep it! :lol: Anyway there is no stress, no arguments and he seems to do his homework 3 times faster than if he were at home!
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