Dont let them think they have failed!

smileyygirl · Post by **smileyygirl** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 3:39 pm

It has been known that children who sit the 11+ but dont get through, sometimes feel like they have failed the exam and are stupid or feel stupid. Someone i know felt like that and although family and friends told her how great she had done just for trying the exam and getting the marks she got she still felt dissapointed with herself. It was only a few weeks after that she met another girl who didnt get through to grammer school, this is when she realized that she wasnt the only one and it then sunk in that she has done well but just didnt get through.

Guest55 · Post by **Guest55** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 5:14 pm

Personally I try not to use the vocabulary PASS/FAIL - you qualify for selective education or you don't. In some counties people will qualify who would not under a different 11+ and vice versa - so ban the 'F' word please!

T.i.p.s.y · Post by **T.i.p.s.y** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 5:31 pm

I agree, how can you fail when there's 10 kids for every place? Kids should be made aware that everyone as an equal but slim chance of getting in.

Tolstoy · Post by **Tolstoy** » Fri Oct 03, 2008 6:21 pm

In some authorities parents have to decide whether to let their children take the test so not all children take it. The child has to give up their Saturday to take the test. They will have seen the schools prior to taking it because in this day and age parental choice

is encouraged by the government. They may well have decided that one or other of those Grammar schools is the one for them. If they do not get the required mark in the tests they will not get in. We can play with words as much as we like but they will feel that they have failed the test because that is what has happened. They have failed to get into the school they wanted to get into. I try to live by the motto

'it is better to have tried and failed than to never have tried at all'

I try to instill that motto into my boys, as those who can really take it on board will do well in life no matter what. They will ultimately never fail whereas many who fear failure will because it is that fear that holds us back.

However I do feel that the system as it stands creates this feeling of failure. If every child was fairly tested at the end of their primary years and then allocated a school that suited their needs then all this could be avoided. No parental choice, because lets face it how many parents get it anyway and all schools being held of equal importance be they academic, practical, arts orientated etc. I think of it as Utopia and have dreamt of it for many years.

sallyj · Post by **sallyj** » Fri Oct 17, 2008 8:38 pm

Tolstoy,your dream of a Utopia is a wonderful one,my mum would have agreed wholeheartedly. She was a teacher who believed education should be a right & not a privilege. Sadly 20 years after her early death,education is no further forward.The gaps between have & have not & good & bad schools are bigger than ever. We can only hope & dream.