We failed!

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panickingmum
Posts: 47
Joined: Sat Jan 10, 2009 6:12 pm
Location: Bucks

We failed!

Post by panickingmum »

Hi all,

Got the letter today and despite there being lots of mitigating circumstances and support they felt it was not enough. I think I will leave the country rather than telling DD we have failed her!

PM no longer panicking despairing
stressed mum
Posts: 22
Joined: Mon Jan 19, 2009 11:18 am

Post by stressed mum »

Hi Panicking mum
So sorry to hear that your appeal was not successful, what a let down for you. But you did all you can so you cant beat yourself up about it.
Its like a lottery. To do all this work, and the wait is awful.
Yes, my worry is telling DD the result if it is not good.
Waited in all morning for my letter, post came at 1215 and no letter.
What a nightmare, not sure if i am going to be able to open it when it eventually does come.
Thinking of you
SM
ManjUnited
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Jan 21, 2009 2:50 pm
Location: Iver

Post by ManjUnited »

PM,

Very sorry to hear the bad news.
We had our appeal on Wednesday, so I can fully empathise with your worry and anxiety. I am at work, so I do not even know if a letter may have arrived early or whether we will hear tommorrow.

Once again very sorry and I know that it will be very hard to break the news to your child.

Consider 12+ next year?

ManjUnited
Marylou
Posts: 2164
Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2006 2:21 am

Post by Marylou »

Oh PanickingMum, so sorry to hear your news. With a score close to 121 and predicted 5s, that's such an unfortunate outcome. But please don't think you have failed your daughter, because you haven't - you have done the very best you could by believing in her and fighting for her. An appeal is a very stressful experience yet you chose to go for it. It will be difficult telling her, but the most important thing is for her to know that she is bound to do well with so much support from you! :)

If, after some reflection, you decide to go down the 12+ route, there is a wealth of experience on here.
Marylou
Sally-Anne
Posts: 9235
Joined: Wed Jan 11, 2006 8:10 pm
Location: Buckinghamshire

Post by Sally-Anne »

Panicking Mum, I am so very sorry to hear the news.

As Marylou says, please don't feel that you have failed your daughter. You have done all that you could.

Please do consider the 12+ - with scores that were very close to 121, I am sure that the extra maturity would see her through that with a good score.

Sally-Anne
All Too Much
Posts: 72
Joined: Mon Jan 12, 2009 3:29 pm

Post by All Too Much »

Dear Panicking Mum

YOU HAVE NOT FAILED YOUR CHILD. This is so important to understand.

I had an appeal 4 years ago for my DS and it failed. He then sat the 12+ - passed it really easily and got into a GS. He settled in so brilliantly and is doing well. Definitely worth doing. Remember that applying for the 12+ is early in the Autumn term and they sit it in February (unless it has changed and you'd better check). That year flies by and it has no adverse affect on the child; if anything makes them more determined.

Never give up.
All Too Much
Rob Clark
Posts: 1298
Joined: Tue Nov 25, 2008 1:59 pm

Post by Rob Clark »

I find these tales of failed appeals so heartbreaking, when you know you have tried to do what you think is best for your child and it hasn’t worked out.

I’ve come to the conclusion that there has to be a better way to decide a child’s secondary education than leaving it to the subjective opinion of three people who’ve never even met DD or DS.

panickngmum, we can’t do anything more than give it our best shot, can we?
Nibbles
Posts: 36
Joined: Fri Nov 28, 2008 5:30 pm

Post by Nibbles »

Hi Panicking Mum,

So sorry to hear your news, you have been so supportive of others on this forum.

You have not failed, you can be confident that you gave it your best, I am sure your DD will know that.
Guest55
Posts: 16254
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:21 pm

Post by Guest55 »

Panicking Mum,

I can only echo everyone else - we felt EXACTLY like you do four years ago.

Our child sailed through 12+ and is identified as G&T now and in top sets!!

So please forgive yourself and be positive.
Bougalou
Posts: 435
Joined: Sat Mar 08, 2008 12:23 am

Post by Bougalou »

(((panickingmum)))
Bougalou
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