What's your grammar school child's day like?

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Exams2018
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Joined: Mon Nov 07, 2016 7:56 am

What's your grammar school child's day like?

Post by Exams2018 »

Dear all,
DD will be sitting for exams next year. DH as I have been thinking hard about the options we have. DD is a quiet, shy and mild tempered girl. She is in top sets in school. She always had a study routine at home - so she is coping well with 11plus prep work (DIY). She can comfortably work for about an hour every day. She is very good at maths.

We are in bromley. Our local comprehensive secondary is lovely but I don't know if it has a strong maths dept like TGS. we made plans to move to Tonbridge later this year and hopefully secure a place in one of the grammars there. However, recently one of my colleagues told me about her DD's friend who couldn't cope with the pressure at her grammar school (not in Kent) - she got depressed and had eating disorders. This is the last thing I'd want for my DD. Is a grammar school right for her? How will I know?

If your DD attends TGS, please can you tell me what her day is like? How much homework a day? How is the environment at school? Do they have frequent tests etc? What is there in it that can make it so stressful?
MrsB
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Re: What's your grammar school child's day like?

Post by MrsB »

I can't comment on the specific school and you may be best posting in the Kent section, but it is worth remembering that eating disorders typically have complex causes, and are also quite common in adolescents the majority of whom do not go to grammar schools. I would not base a decision on what you have heard about the friend of a friend - pressure and stress about success could be one cause but it could also be caused by other reasons as well which your friend does not actually know about. A teenage girl in a less academic school may equally worry about other things and feel pressure for other reasons.

There are usually plenty of other shy quiet girls in a grammar school - in fact that is often a real positive as there will be other girls like her.

In terms of how will you know which is right? It's very hard to know for sure so all you can do is visit both schools with your DD, talk to the teachers, talk to the students and see what the vibe is, and how she feels, but try not to worry too much. Good luck
Octsmum
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Re: What's your grammar school child's day like?

Post by Octsmum »

Hi

I had similar concerns about whether my DD would fit in at local grammar schools, particularly after we had a round of friendship issues in her local (small village) school.

I'd echo other posts. Go & look at the schools, not just on open days - on real 'working' days and look hard and ask lots of questions to teachers, pupils etc. I went on my own and also took my DD with me on other days. We have both come out with the same preference for a particular school.

I asked questions of pastoral care, where would you go if...etc and also went to see what 'student services' was like - availability, access to counselling etc. There are other posts on the forum about questions to ask.

I think in this social media age there will inevitably be problems in every school. Not every parent / child can have a great experience. Go with the one that most accords with your own views of how it you would want it to be handled & where you think your DD would be happiest.

Octsmum
2childmum
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Re: What's your grammar school child's day like?

Post by 2childmum »

In our experience a bright girl in a non-selective school can be put under even more pressure, as the school sees them as someone who could potentially up their league table scores. Our daughter came under much more pressure in a non-selective school than our son in grammar did. You really need to look at schools as individual places rather than thinking all grammars are the same, and all non-selectives are the same
mystery
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Re: What's your grammar school child's day like?

Post by mystery »

I have pm'd you.
Guest55
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Re: What's your grammar school child's day like?

Post by Guest55 »

2childmum wrote:In our experience a bright girl in a non-selective school can be put under even more pressure, as the school sees them as someone who could potentially up their league table scores. Our daughter came under much more pressure in a non-selective school than our son in grammar did. You really need to look at schools as individual places rather than thinking all grammars are the same, and all non-selectives are the same
I think that may be a gender thing rather than linked to the schools. The worst bullying I've heard about has been in a girls GS.
2childmum
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Re: What's your grammar school child's day like?

Post by 2childmum »

She wasn't being bullied. She was being put under huge pressure by teachers to achieve stupidly high results. Eg in science, first term of year 7, she was told she should be aiming for a level 7 or 8 (old NC). Her spanish grade at Christmas was a 3 and her target for the end of the year was a 6 - she was expected to make 3 whole levels of progress in less than 6 months. Bearing in mind she is dyslexic and has a mild expressive language disorder this was clearly ridiculous. She had achieved 5,5,6 in KS2 SATS. We hadn't even tried for grammar for her as we knew she wouldn't cope with pressure, only to have this happen to her.

Only one child in one school of course, and she is now at a different school with a very different attitude, but it does pay to consider schools individually rather than assume all grammars/non-selectives will be the same.
Guest55
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Re: What's your grammar school child's day like?

Post by Guest55 »

2childmum wrote:She wasn't being bullied. She was being put under huge pressure by teachers to achieve stupidly high results. Eg in science, first term of year 7, she was told she should be aiming for a level 7 or 8 (old NC).
Those targets are appropriate for someone with KS2 5,5,6 - I've known GS students with much lower levels than that.
2childmum
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Re: What's your grammar school child's day like?

Post by 2childmum »

She left primary with a level 5 and half a term later (i.e. 6 weeks) was expected to produce work at a level 8. This wasn't a target grade for the end of the year but the level she was being expected to work at almost as soon as she arrived. I think being expected, and pushed, to make 3 full levels of improvement in 6 weeks is being put under undue pressure, especially as she also has special needs.
Guest55
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Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 2:21 pm

Re: What's your grammar school child's day like?

Post by Guest55 »

No, I think you may have misunderstood or they weren't very clear, that would have been her KS3 target - no school is teaching Year 7s to level 8.
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