Crypt over STR?

[TwoBoys]

First post but long time lurker and I'd just like to say a big thank-you to everyone on this forum, it's been a great source of comfort, humour and information over the past year.

Our DS has been lucky enough to qualify for both STR and Crypt. Having done both open days (this year and last) he's decided he wants to go to Crypt. Are we wise letting him make this decision? Our gut feel is that he might well be better suited to Crypt (for a variety of reasons) but it feels wrong selecting what is considered the lower ranked school, especially on the basis of a couple of open days. Just how accurate an impression can you get from an hour or two on an open evening?

I appreciate considering some of the issues other people have had this is probably not a big deal but feel it's such an important decision to get right. So in summary, does anyone have any advice? Should we just go with his decision? From what we can tell both are great schools and he's lucky to be able to go to either.

[Watermelon8]

Both my boys loved Crypt at open day & altho we live much closer to Tommies, we just didn’t like it as much. They are thriving. It is a lovely school, very caring & friendly but really concerned about the ‘whole child’. I love the importance given to music, drama, sport, whatever you’re good at alongside the high academic expectations. I have lots of friends with lovely boys at Tommies but it didn’t feel right for mine. Despite having to often justify why we picked Crypt over Pates & Tommies (sigh!) I truly believe that the quality of education is fab in all the grammars so it just comes down to where you feel your children fit...for us that was Crypt.
Also comes down to whether you’d prefer co-Ed or single sex?? This year’s co-Ed cohort has been so well considered, I feel lucky my DS is in this historic year.

[Eromdap]

At the end of the day your ds needs to be happy to succeed. If you and he feel that Crypt is the best for him then go for it. The decision should be based on what’s best for him, not what people consider the hierarchy of schools should be.

[stroudydad]

Choose what you consider best for your son. As others have said, he has to be happy. However, I would raise a word of warning. Your son is only 10/11, that is a big choice on what is an intelligent but nonetheless naive child. So make sure you are sure that it’s the right school for him and your family is the same one he thinks is.
To put you at ease,
DS1 qualified for Pate’s, STRS, Crypt, Marling. - went to Marling and has done fab
DD qualified for Pate’s, HSFG, RHHS, SHS. - went to SHS and has done fab
DS2 qualified for Crypt, Marling. - went to Marling and is settling in brilliantly.
DS3 qualified for Pates’ STRS, Crypt, Marling. - went to visit Tommies again today, it’s a great school, but is it good enough to warrant a long(in my opinion) journey when we know he’ll do fab at Marling? Probably not! He’ll 99% probability end up at Marling.

[Legofan]

Think of the logistics from your perspective. Is one far better than the other, if so go for the closer as it will allow more opportunities for doing extra curricular activities after school.

[DC17C]

There is always the possibility of moving to a different school at sixth form when a longer journey might be more tolerable for 2 years and make a good transition experience before the bigger move to university

[Lysander]

There’s no best school, just the right school for each child. Whichever school feels right probably is right. We loved STRS and Marling but Pates and Crypt left us cold. But for our younger dc we may think differently. I know families with radiantly happy children at all four schools.

[stroudydad]

There’s no best school, just the right school for each child. Whichever school feels right probably is right. We loved STRS and Marling but Pates and Crypt left us cold. But for our younger dc we may think differently. I know families with radiantly happy children at all four schools.

Quite true.. but it’s not only about the child. It’s about the family. Can you commit allowing a child to go to a school and be the best they can be at that school. No restrictions on pickup, after school clubs etc. For 5/7 years ? Could you still do it it a different Dc had to go to a different school?
That’s really important also

[Amber]

This view won't be popular, but I think the parents should decide where a 10 year old is going to go to school, not the child. They are the ones who have to organise the travelling; they are the ones who can see the features of a school they believe to be important; a child cannot make a mature and informed decision on which is best. By 16, I think children should be able to choose a sixth form, with guidance, but I think 10 is too young to have the responsibility for this decision. If you prefer Crypt, and it fits with your family, then choose Crypt. If you prefer STR and it fits with your family, choose that. Take the decision off your child's shoulders - if you think a different school would be better, then sit him down and tell him kindly but firmly why. Be the parent.

Other opinions are available.

[Glos18]

I think parental involvement should come at the time of deciding which schools to look at eg I wouldn't show my child a private school where I couldn't afford the fees or a school that isn't accessible by bus. Once you present them with a shortlist of acceptible schools, I think it quite reasonable to allow your child to choose. It sounds to me that both you and your DS are on the same page about crypt. As long as it isn't a terrible journey etc then go for it if it feels right for you all. I think all of the 4 boy options are great, so you can't really go wrong.