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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2020 10:02 am 
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Just a quick query really. My family are in a bit of a dilemma with ranking the boys grammars. We have places 3-5 sorted but not the first two. My DS is bright with a mathematical brain. While he enjoys sport he doesn't participate in any team sports outside of school. He is very kind and a deep thinker and loves the look of STR. Pates might be on the cards if he has a good day on the 17th but I just wonder if STR will help him with his terrible organisational and time management skills? If he was left to his own devices I'm sure he'd end up in a muddle. We are trying to teach him independence and resilience but it is an uphill battle. We've toured both schools in Y5 but I'm just worried about the pressure he may face at Pates to perform? That might just be an incorrect assumption on my part based on anecdotes rather than facts and of course I may well be counting my chickens here...come test results day...
Thank you in advance for any thoughts.


Last edited by dodie102 on Wed Oct 07, 2020 11:49 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2020 10:27 am 
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Can't speak for STR as have a DD (!) but I can honestly say that DD has never felt any pressure at all at Pate's to "perform". I believe that this is a commonly held misconception about Pate's, but couldn't be further from reality. She is, however, expected to be exceptionally independent and organised......!


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2020 10:40 am 
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Hmm 'organised' that may well be the clincher! Thank you for your reply.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2020 10:42 am 
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We were in a similar position and unsure which school to opt for, but we chose Pates as first choice in the end. I’ve just submitted CAF form. My son is also not into sport, and loves Geography, Maths and Science.

We visited last year and the school blew us away! The children who showed us round, attended the primary my son is currently attending too. We asked lots of questions and it was so impressive and the work was outstanding. In the end we opted for it as it was our favourite, and if he gets the passing mark it was meant to be!
STRS we loved too, but Pates passed it for us.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2020 10:43 am 
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Oh and my son is far from organised! He is a real smart kid, but ask him where his shoes are he will have no clue :lol:


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2020 11:18 am 
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Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 1:21 pm
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dodie102 wrote:
Just a quick query really. My family are in a bit of a dilemma with ranking the boys grammars. We have places 3-5 sorted but not the first two. My DS is bright with a mathematical brain. While he enjoys sport he doesn't participate in any team sports outside of school. He is very kind and a deep thinker and loves the look of STR. Pates might be on the cards if he has a good day on the 17th but I just wonder if STR will help him with his terrible organisational and time management skills? If he was left to his own devices I'm sure he'd end up in a muddle. We are trying to teach him independence and resilience but it is an uphill battle. We've toured both schools in Y5 but I'm just worried about the pressure he may face at Pates to perform? That might just be a incorrect assumption on my part based on anecdotes rather than facts and of course I may well be counting my chickens here...come test results day...
Thank you in advance for any thoughts.


I'd go with Tommies - the Headteacher ha created an amazingly supportive school.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2020 11:53 am 
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Future2020 wrote:
Oh and my son is far from organised! He is a real smart kid, but ask him where his shoes are he will have no clue :lol:

It's socks for us. He seems to drop them everywhere.

Pates is amazing, but quite frankly I'd expect them to be with the cohort they have. (Comprehensive teacher speaking there :wink: )

Thank you so much for replying.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2020 12:54 pm 
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Hi, From what I have been told by lots of other people that have children go to Pates, there is an expectation that kids will be independent thinkers / students at Pates, the real question is do they help them to become that way or is this just expected. I also spoke to a family friends son who goes Pates and he does say that he is motivated by the pressure of performing as everyone does well so you have to keep up.

Tommies on the flip side has this reputation of getting boys to mature, or as the admissions officer put it "we know boys". My son started Tommies this year and I cant say that they have done anything extra that suggests to me that they have a secret method. However having said that the expectations were set to them immediately - my son did get a little telling off at the induction day for not knowing where his bag was, he was told "we expect you to do a better job of taking care of your stuff" - I kind of liked that approach, as I was also nervous about him being a bit airy fairy sometimes. Also I think he said they have already had about 15 - 20 tests, sounds a lot but that might be the norm at other grammars.

Ultimately you know your child best so need to decide which approach you think will have a better outcome. Hope that helps.


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2020 1:25 pm 
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I have a son at STRS and have done a tour of Pates. Son's organisation skills have improved greatly since starting STRS. I think it is partly about the fact that they mature a lot when they go up to secondary school, but also STR are quite strict. The two headmasters are quite different - the STR headmaster thinks the teachers should be handing out more detentions(!) whereas the Pates one seems more easy going.

The threat of a thunder (3 of these earns you a detention) for forgetting your green pen does motivate my DS to be more organised. However, I think it does also increase his anxiety levels so if you have a sensitive lad then it is about striking the right balance. Good luck with your choice x


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PostPosted: Wed Oct 07, 2020 3:58 pm 
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Joined: Fri Oct 11, 2013 9:09 pm
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Guest55 wrote:
dodie102 wrote:
Just a quick query really. My family are in a bit of a dilemma with ranking the boys grammars. We have places 3-5 sorted but not the first two. My DS is bright with a mathematical brain. While he enjoys sport he doesn't participate in any team sports outside of school. He is very kind and a deep thinker and loves the look of STR. Pates might be on the cards if he has a good day on the 17th but I just wonder if STR will help him with his terrible organisational and time management skills? If he was left to his own devices I'm sure he'd end up in a muddle. We are trying to teach him independence and resilience but it is an uphill battle. We've toured both schools in Y5 but I'm just worried about the pressure he may face at Pates to perform? That might just be a incorrect assumption on my part based on anecdotes rather than facts and of course I may well be counting my chickens here...come test results day...
Thank you in advance for any thoughts.


I'd go with Tommies - the Headteacher ha created an amazingly supportive school.


I totally agree Guest55. I have children at both STR and Pates and STR outshines Pates in so many ways, including the head who has gone above and beyond throughout the pandemic. We, and many others, have not been impressed with Pates at all.


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