Bribery
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I have to say I always go down the reward route. However, it's important not to see it as bribery. If a child has worked hard for the 11+ and does not pass, they should still get a reward if it has been promised (but don't tell them beforehand!). I always give my son a monetary reward for getting a top assessment every term. When they go to work, they will get paid for their efforts, so I don't see a problem with doing it now. It's very personal but it works for us.
the problem with offering the reward as an incentive is the double blow if the child fails. Not only do they not get into the school they hoped they might but the wii goes up in a puff of smoke. If you "give in" and get it anyway, what does that tell them about your promises? We did a lot of stuff about the results being the reward, etc, etc, but also bought him a couple of wii games I think when he passed. Not so much as to be financially crippling, but enough to be meaningful and be some reflection of the hours of familiarisation put in.
I don't think you are 'giving in' if you really feel the child has given it their all, but doesn't pass the exam. However, we did not give in and give our second son a big reward when he failed, as he simply did not put that much effort into it. It was his choice to take the test, so there had been no pressure from us. He was allowed to choose one game, which was not as much as the first son got. However, I want them to learn that you have to work hard to get a particular reward and not to just expect it.
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WesterhamMum
- Posts: 134
- Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 2:08 pm
- Location: Westerham, Kent
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WesterhamMum
- Posts: 134
- Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 2:08 pm
- Location: Westerham, Kent
I wish she had said a ‘coat’!
We had a goat once before when she was a baby but it got lonely and hooked up with the dog. It used to come through the dog flap and sleep on the sofa! Then it had a baby (pregnant before we got it) and the two of them used to come in every day and trash the house, eating the fruit from the bowl, my house plants, my post and the final straw was when I found them standing amongst plenty of their droppings, on my dining room table! I promptly took them back to the farm they came from!
You can appreciate why I am not too keen to repeat this chapter of my life, although the fencing around our new field is higher so my daughter is convinced that if we get pigmy goats, they will not get into the garden or house! I am still trying to convince her to go down the ‘chinchilla’ route!
I love goat’s cheese but I prefer the Waitrose variety!
We had a goat once before when she was a baby but it got lonely and hooked up with the dog. It used to come through the dog flap and sleep on the sofa! Then it had a baby (pregnant before we got it) and the two of them used to come in every day and trash the house, eating the fruit from the bowl, my house plants, my post and the final straw was when I found them standing amongst plenty of their droppings, on my dining room table! I promptly took them back to the farm they came from!
You can appreciate why I am not too keen to repeat this chapter of my life, although the fencing around our new field is higher so my daughter is convinced that if we get pigmy goats, they will not get into the garden or house! I am still trying to convince her to go down the ‘chinchilla’ route!
I love goat’s cheese but I prefer the Waitrose variety!
WesterhamMum wrote:I wish she had said a ‘coat’!
We had a goat once before when she was a baby but it got lonely and hooked up with the dog. It used to come through the dog flap and sleep on the sofa! Then it had a baby (pregnant before we got it) and the two of them used to come in every day and trash the house, eating the fruit from the bowl, my house plants, my post and the final straw was when I found them standing amongst plenty of their droppings, on my dining room table! I promptly took them back to the farm they came from!
