Am I shooting my foot by refusing to get a tutor for 7+?
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Sorry Amber, you post isn't quite clear. What, in your opinion, is the sad indictment? My understanding why some parents feel the need to tutor, or that some parents actually need to do it?Amber wrote:IMHO, it is a terribly sad indictment of the society we are creating for our children, and one of the (many) reasons why the UNICEF poll put the UK bottom of the list of places for children to grow up happily.I can say though that whilst the tutoring of very young children may seem, to some, absolute madness. I can certainly understand why some parents feel the need to do it.
I took it as meaning, feeling compelled, in order to stand a chance, to put them under the yoke of tutoring, and arm them with lists of activities undertaken, purely to get into a school. With which I'd agree. But we're luckier not living in London. I did so happily enough from 18-26, but would not want (and couldn't afford 
) to raise children there.
) to raise children there.-
T.i.p.s.y
Well the realties of every day life in London is very different from an exciting visit. The OP asked for advice on tutoring for specific schools and apart from being told she was mad or the system was mad by those who didn't know the school I, who do have experience of one in particular, gave her the honest view. She wants her son to get in so unfortunately this is what she is going to have to do. He will not be traumatised or be a statistic in a UNICEF poll for having a year of tutoring but may well end up this way if he remains unhappy in his current school.
Dont you think we are part of the cohort you are describing, driven and prepared to use whatever in our means to achieve what we deem the best for our kids, how far people go is another matter
If you decide to take your child through 11+ then surely there is a certain advantage you expect your child to get and in London it may seem worse but I think other people will think of us the same.
Spinning the coin there are loads who think we are obsessive lunatics mums who would do anything for their poor kids to get to grammar school, how sad for 10year olds to go through that
Yes some will tutor from 7 years, some will tutor their own kids and some will send them at 5am to their tutors but its all bacause we want what we think is the best.
If you decide to take your child through 11+ then surely there is a certain advantage you expect your child to get and in London it may seem worse but I think other people will think of us the same.
Spinning the coin there are loads who think we are obsessive lunatics mums who would do anything for their poor kids to get to grammar school, how sad for 10year olds to go through that
Yes some will tutor from 7 years, some will tutor their own kids and some will send them at 5am to their tutors but its all bacause we want what we think is the best.
Impossible is Nothing.
Oh dear Tipsy, I was being ironic when i said i'd been up to the big smoke once or twice - let's leave it at that and bow to your 'inner London' knowledge.
Sherry'd i do agree with you in that as parents who put our children through 11+ we too seem 'mad' to others.
My point was that there are degrees in educating and for me there are limits in what I would do to get my child into the school of choice.
I am not condemning the original thread poster as insane - I am saying tutoring 3 and 7 yr olds is madness and extreme - my opinion. Simple. But good luck to the poster with such a difficult decision who is obviously struggling with the idea of tutoring a DC so young.
Sherry'd i do agree with you in that as parents who put our children through 11+ we too seem 'mad' to others.
My point was that there are degrees in educating and for me there are limits in what I would do to get my child into the school of choice.
I am not condemning the original thread poster as insane - I am saying tutoring 3 and 7 yr olds is madness and extreme - my opinion. Simple. But good luck to the poster with such a difficult decision who is obviously struggling with the idea of tutoring a DC so young.
Sorry if I am not clear. I think that the way in which many children are put under pressure to perform is very sad. I am a believer in starting school later, in allowing children to learn through play, and in a creative curriculum in the early years. I have spent a lot of time in Scandinavia and also been taught by a very inspirational Scandinavian lecturer, and it has helped to form my belief, which I know to be highly unpopular amongst many parents, that we begin formal education too soon in this country. It was a very sad day indeed for me when last year's Cambridge report on Primary education, 7 years in the researching, was dismissed as out of date by the government who commissioned it.
I realise that on a forum like this, my views are likely to be shot down, but I am unshakeable in my belief that young children need free play, and then structured play, to learn, and that it is very sad for them and for the future of our country if we focus too much on formal learning when they are under 7. It is the product of an education policy informed by politicians and voters rather than educationalists and child psychologists, who consistently point out that children under 7 are generally too young for a formal curriculum.
(Now I shall sit back and wait for the eggs and other missiles to head my way!)
I realise that on a forum like this, my views are likely to be shot down, but I am unshakeable in my belief that young children need free play, and then structured play, to learn, and that it is very sad for them and for the future of our country if we focus too much on formal learning when they are under 7. It is the product of an education policy informed by politicians and voters rather than educationalists and child psychologists, who consistently point out that children under 7 are generally too young for a formal curriculum.
(Now I shall sit back and wait for the eggs and other missiles to head my way!)
No eggs and missiles, Amber. I completely agree with what you say. It's just unfortunate that this country isn't geared up in the same way. Parents are reactive in their behaviour, not proactive which is why we have the situation we have.
Maybe a little civil unrest would get the government to change it's policies??? Unfortunately it's not just education which needs a huge overhaul
Maybe a little civil unrest would get the government to change it's policies??? Unfortunately it's not just education which needs a huge overhaul
Amber
I agree with your views.
I live in London, and have one DD in highly selective indie, and another about to start. Both kids went to an 'average' state primary. They played in the street after school, and can climb trees (and lamposts!).
However, easy to say this from where I sit now. If you had asked me eight weeks ago I would have said that I had totally shot myself in the foot with DD2 by not doing what everyone else seemed to think I should. I am not sure I would have the confidence to do it third time round, and, thankfully, will not have to!
I agree with your views.
I live in London, and have one DD in highly selective indie, and another about to start. Both kids went to an 'average' state primary. They played in the street after school, and can climb trees (and lamposts!).
However, easy to say this from where I sit now. If you had asked me eight weeks ago I would have said that I had totally shot myself in the foot with DD2 by not doing what everyone else seemed to think I should. I am not sure I would have the confidence to do it third time round, and, thankfully, will not have to!
mad?
Amber, I'm 100% with you. I too believe we start formal education too early - I chose to delay full-time schooling for both my children until 5 (still early by Scandinavian standards) and a bit - I was the only parent doing this so it wasn't an easy thing to do - and it didn't harm them or put them back in any way.
It isn't surprising the governement dismisses informed research out of hand - the schools secretary - Ed Balls has no children, neither does the schools minister, and policy is written by ideology rather than evidence.
It isn't surprising the governement dismisses informed research out of hand - the schools secretary - Ed Balls has no children, neither does the schools minister, and policy is written by ideology rather than evidence.