How do I prepare my child for Eton, Harrow...

T.i.p.s.y · Post by **T.i.p.s.y** » Mon Apr 13, 2009 6:21 pm

Re boarding:

My DS has benefitted enormously as he is never bored. He is the type of kid who needs constant stimulation and also an environment where he needs to do things outwith his comfort zone. Its not easy to allow kids to experience activities that either cost too much or are logistically impossible to do or even force a kid to do an activity that they do not wish to do but find out they actually enjoy. Boarding school offers these opportunities.

I agree it is unusual for a school or friends to suggest boarding though, unless they have seen the benefits of it themselves.

Post by **hermanmunster** » Mon Apr 13, 2009 6:49 pm

sorry all but I chuckled wickedly about the thought of someone "benefitting from a boarding environment" - only child that that was said about in our family was one whose behaviour turned everyone prematurely grey .., think the parents benefitted from the boarding environment when he as about 6...! Actually in retrospect he was fine - just lively and very bright - it was the parents who couldn't cope

monkeymum · Post by **monkeymum** » Mon Apr 13, 2009 10:08 pm

solimum wrote:
Dolly19 wrote:I'm intrigued, Monkeymum....why is it suggested your son would "benefit from the environment" of a boarding school?
I wondered that too - there are a few children I might have suggested that about but only "tongue-in-cheek" when they have been especially troublesome! Mind you, I don't mix in circles where anyone I know has children at boarding school....

To answer everyone questions, I was told my son would benefit from from boarding because he is a bright boy who needs constant stimulation. Being full time working parents, itis difficult to run from one activity to another, especially when you have other children as well, who equally need your time and attention.

Having friends and family who have been to boarding school (not in boarding school in this country though) they tell me that in a boarding environment he will get this stimulation and wanted to put this question to a forum to see what response it would get.

I love my son dearly and have never thought of him as troublesome -just lively and bright and get butterlies in my stomach thinking about packing him off to boarding school....I just want to get some advice from some parents on forums who have children at good boarding school before I decide what to do....

Also would like to know what parents do to prepare the children to get into good schools. Is there anything wrong with wanted the best for your child?

Quite offended by your chuckling hermanmunster...

We obviously come from different worlds...

T.i.p.s.y · Post by **T.i.p.s.y** » Mon Apr 13, 2009 10:14 pm

The best thing you can do to prepare a child for boarding school is to 100% believe that it is the best thing for them. The kids that do not settle well are the kids whose parents are stressed about boarding. Children pick up on their parents worries.

monkeymum · Post by **monkeymum** » Mon Apr 13, 2009 10:20 pm

...that's why I am doing my research now....At the moment I am only 80% convinced...

zee · Post by **zee** » Mon Apr 13, 2009 10:34 pm

Boarding has changed a lot in recent years. In particular, weekly boarding is now common (though not perhaps at Eton and Harrow), in which case, they amount of time you and your son would be apart is not hugely different from if he was at day school doing lots of after school activities.

Post by **hermanmunster** » Mon Apr 13, 2009 10:37 pm

sorry monkeymum didn't mean to offend - I just come from an extended family where boarding was used when there as a crisis - death of parent, illness of parents, didn't pass exams for local schools, another military posting etc etc. it came to feel that the lucky kids were at day school and as things settled down several of the kids gave up boarding and went to day schools.

It isn't easy doing the right thing for kids - if both parents work then they have to get pretty self motivated and this in itself is a skill which can reap endless benefits later in life. I'm sure some will enjoy boarding school and benefit from it - though I always felt sorry when the kids I knew came home for the rather long hols and didn't know many people around the local area. Having said that when I did look at some schools for DS (he would have been day pupil) - the boarders where often local (less than 30 miles) so they would still have contact with friends.. things changed somewhat in the last 40 years !!!!

Good luck with the research - there isn't much time if yr DS is in the upper part of juniors .. it all goes so quicly

P's mum · Post by **P's mum** » Tue Apr 14, 2009 9:33 am

Susan wrote: You might also wish to add Christ's Hospital School, into your mix, again put the name into the search engine to see discussions about it, and look at their website. They are a charitable boarding school. I know someone who's son attends and he's having a great time.

My next door neighbour applied to a state boarding school and was refused a place because they could afford to save up for a holiday.

Susan

I support the suggestion of Christ's College. But be aware that income really is potential bar here unless your son is very bright indeed (i.e. top of exams results) as they take only 4 % who don't qualify for financial assistance. See elsewhere for threads on this school.

The quote about income and state boarding schools is not
generally true (though there may be a school or schools which apply it). I looked at 4 or 5 within striking distance of London and it was not the case for any of these. 'Boarding need' usually includes all the criteria suggested by another poster (sick/dead parent, frequent moves etc.) but may include two working parents and perhaps the need for extra-curricula activities. In part it may depend how over subscribed the school is (and beware some are very oversubscribed much more than the top independent boarding schools). If you are interested in one or more ring the admissions clerk. I found them very helpful in not only explaining exactly how the criteria worked but also in indicated who (for instance how far away they lived where distance was a criterion) got places the previous year.

I agree about the spread sheet!

Loopyloulou · Post by **Loopyloulou** » Tue Apr 14, 2009 3:13 pm

State boarding schools are all very well, but frankly I think everyone will acknowledge they're in a totally different league to Eton, Harrow and Charterhouse. If you want to get your DS into one of those schools there really is no substitute for putting him into the right prep school as soon as possible. Don't wait beyond this September, it might well be too late given the required entrance standard and the speed with which leading preps accelerate away from all other educational institutions. Yes it costs money, but like everything else in life if you want the best you have to pay for it.
Good luck!

mike1880 · Post by **mike1880** » Tue Apr 14, 2009 4:02 pm

I don't think any of them would claim to be trying to replicate what Eton, Harrow or Charterhouse provide. Many of the state boarding schools appear in the league tables as "comprehensive" schools, for example - a little disingenuous perhaps, but it makes the point that many of them don't operate any form of academic selection at all.

If the alternative is a mediocre independent, a run of the mill grammar or even a very good comprehensive then the state boarding schools, which are often very good indeed, are well worth looking at; in fact, you have to be looking at some pretty exceptional alternatives before you decide they're not worth bothering with at all. We can't all send our children to Eton, Harrow or Charterhouse, I think it would be rash to rule out a boarding education purely on the grounds that those schools were out of reach for whatever reason.

Mike