question for etienne or anyone else in the know.......

frustrated · Post by **frustrated** » Sat Apr 17, 2010 7:31 pm

Etienne, thankyou.

That was so very, very helpful. I think you have just 'rescued' me from myself!

Well, I shall dive in by myself and give it what I've got, and keep everything crossed. I can only do my best, and my best I shall do.

Once I stop panicking.

Post by **Etienne** » Sat Apr 17, 2010 7:45 pm

The more nervous you are, the more sympathetic most panels become.

It's the cocky, over-confident parents they may have some difficulty empathising with!

Good luck!

tiredmum · Post by **tiredmum** » Sat Apr 17, 2010 11:35 pm

Im by myself too, at my appeal next week eeeeeeek!

Morning Glory · Post by **Morning Glory** » Sun Apr 18, 2010 8:46 am

I had my DS's appeal earlier this year and as many of you on this forum already know we had extremely low scores to work with and lots of medical reports, so it was extremely complex.

Against a lot of advice I went to the appeal on my own for a number of reasons

As there was a lot of complex evidence I knew the case inside out, had read the reports many many times. I also had become very familiar with how the appeals system works - that you need to tell the panel facts and back these up with evidence, they don't want to know that DS is a loving and wonderful child (although he is!). I was worried that if I took my DH that he would stray from the facts and I felt I would be more distracted trying to keep everything on track.

It was also suggest that I take my mum and in fact she did come with me on the day and we had lunch but I again decided that she would be a distraction to me.

My main concern was keeping myself composed. I practiced my presentation several times and continously went through possible questions in my head for weeks before (hardly any of them were asked). I made sure I took my time and spoke slowly and clearly (I knew there was no time limit). When asked a question I thought about my answer before I spoke. I did breakdown right at the end of my summing up, but again I didn't panic. I apologised took a deep breath, and only started again when I felt I could get to the end of the presentation and the panel were extremely understanding.

I don't think going it alone is for everyone but I knew in my heart it was the way I had to do it. Whatever the panels decision I knew I had given it my all, I wasn't left thinking if only DH hadn't said that.

What you need to remember is that the panel are human, they are not there to trip you up.

Good luck to everyone who have up and coming appeals.

MG

Snowdrops · Post by **Snowdrops** » Sun Apr 18, 2010 8:55 am

What a lovely supportive posting MG!

frustrated · Post by **frustrated** » Sun Apr 18, 2010 10:01 am

Lovely post Morning Glory

Thinking of you, tiredmum, hope all goes well and that you get the best outcome.

T12ACY · Post by **T12ACY** » Sun Apr 18, 2010 11:26 am

Having had a sleepless night, and doing a large amount of soul searching I have a question to Etienne about the 'elected county councillor' support.

This was suggested by the HT, and I would never have thought of it otherwise, so contacted them. I have informed the appeal panel I intend to be bring councillor with me but just don't know what to do now.

Of course it is clear that they can't add to my case, and in effect therefore can't help me.

My question is 'should I choose to go it alone, and I am thinking I will, are the panel going to think he has refused to come and this would go against me?'

I am feeling like no matter what I do, because of my apparent 'over confidence', I am damned if I do and damned if I don't. Am almost beginning to think I should not attend because I am just going to make it worse.....

Post by **Etienne** » Sun Apr 18, 2010 11:46 am

I would suggest one of two things -

(1) Take the councillor with you, but tell the panel at the start of the hearing that he/she is only there as a 'friend' to offer moral support. Explain this to the councillor beforehand, and as diplomatically as possible ask him/her to leave most of the talking to you. After all, it's you the panel want to hear from.

or

(2) Tell the panel that the councillor wanted to join you as a 'friend' just to offer moral support, but unfortunately can no longer come - please accept apologies.

Morning Glory · Post by **Morning Glory** » Sun Apr 18, 2010 11:51 am

My question is 'should I choose to go it alone, and I am thinking I will, are the panel going to think he has refused to come and this would go against me?'

I also worried about what the panel would think, Etienne assured me that there are many parents that can't attend for work committments etc. My DH is often out of the country so wasn't sure he would be able to attend anyway (he was in the country at the time so could have if I'd need him too). As it happens I ensured DH was on school pick up duty which did put my mind at rest, so I didn't have to worry about getting back in time or another member of the family picking them up.

I worried about a lot of things before my appeal and had many sleepless nights (as Etienne knows).

Somehow our devils are never quite what we expect when we meet them face to face. ~Nelson DeMille

Good Luck
Enjoy the sunshine.

MG

Post by **Etienne** » Sun Apr 18, 2010 12:12 pm

Etienne assured me that there are many parents that can't attend for work committments etc.

That's right. Quite a lot of parents attend on their own.