Barmitzvah money

zorro · Post by **zorro** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:33 pm

Not giving any present or gum(!) is socially unacceptable. A small well-chosen present is great - doesn't have to be expensive but to turn up with nothing is awful. Maybe they will end up running the country!!

Can you imagine going to someones's house for dinner empty handed?

zorro · Post by **zorro** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:36 pm

KB, that is a brilliant idea! Will remember that when DS's teenage parties start (aaaargh!)

T.i.p.s.y · Post by **T.i.p.s.y** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:36 pm

Ironically he couldn't even eat the gum due to his allergies!

If you don't laugh, you'll just cry - or worse!

Sorry, gone off topic and not much help. So if some are saying Â£40 and you may have thought Â£10, would Â£20 be doable? I never think Â£20 could look mean under any circumstance.

zorro · Post by **zorro** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 6:52 pm

The going rate at DS's school is Â£20 for normal birthdays and Â£40 for barmitzvah birthday parties.
Should have sent him to a Catholic school !!

Come on all you Jewish parents! Where are you when I need you?

Looking for help · Post by **Looking for help** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:03 pm

zorro wrote:The going rate at DS's school is Â£20 for normal birthdays and Â£40 for barmitzvah birthday parties.
Should have sent him to a Catholic school !!
Come on all you Jewish parents! Where are you when I need you?

Then you'd only have First Communion and Confirmation parties

I still wouldn't be swayed by a going rate. It's not a business, I like the idea of a carefully thought out present that will mean something to the child as he gets older, rather than cash for something that is a religious occasion as opposed to a birthday.

tense · Post by **tense** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:51 pm

Zorro

When my DD attended a bat mitzvah, I asked round about a gift too! I knew money was the usual thing, but someone suggested we gave Â£18 - apparently this is a special number as it is the numerical value of the word Chai, meaning life (had to google that to remind myself!).

I usually give Â£15 for close friends (Â£10 for others) so Â£18 was OK for me for a special occasion.

T x

zorro · Post by **zorro** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 7:53 pm

Thanks tense,
Yes I have heard of giving multiples of 18.

Ed's mum · Post by **Ed's mum** » Mon Nov 23, 2009 8:16 pm

This is what I think...

I think you give what is comfortable for you. For some that might be Â£5, whilst others could afford Â£40 comfortably.

Of course I can understand that one would want to give 'the going rate' but I have learned that that is not always possible.

I'm not familiar with giving for this particular occasion, but I would imaginre that the thought is more important than the amount?? I may be wrong though.