Facebook

[bromley mum]

My DD was not allowed a FB account till she turned 14 and even then we started with a joint one!! I then let her have her own but am a friend on her's and know her password. She, in fact, gave me her password herself without my asking (result of the open, friendly relationship that we have?) and frequently asks me to log her on while she does something else!! DD2 is not 13 yet so is not allowed FB. Some of her friends, however, are and have even asked to be friends with DD1. I've said no to that because what DD1 and her friends talk about is age appropriate for them but not for under 12s!! I wish parents of these girls had made same rules as I have, but who am I to judge?

[bromley mum]

(unless I want to go on EPE if course ).

I wish my mum lived near by and could tell me off for going on here at all times of the day and night!!!

[Waiting_For_Godot]

I'm not clear how knowing their passwords would prevent that. Having computers in a family room (more difficult with Internet available on phones these days I agree) and keeping an eye on browser history is probably a good idea. My kids have to leave any electronics outside their rooms at night and I often turn the wifi off at 9 ish. (unless I want to go on EPE if course ).

The link was sent to me via an FB message. It may not prevent it but I can see what's going on and stop any further goings on! I have just removed their computers from their rooms so now they only have wii and psp's. They were becoming too obsessed and their whole focus is around the computer. I would suggest we go out for lunch or the cinema but they would say no and I have now realised it is because that takes them away from the computer. They are furious with me!

[tiredmum]

I used to get my dd1 - now 16 - to leave her laptop outside her room at night but started to slip up in the holidays so now just turn the internet off when i go to bed. She does not have a modern phone so wont be online on that.

dd2 wanted facebook but she is 12 - its not meant for under 13's - so that was a no-no, even though many of her school friends have it. But she is allowed MSN and i have her password and a a contact.

It is difficult without trying to be the all-controling parent - but i think if they know we are just looking out for them they repond better.

[scary mum]

The link was sent to me via an FB message.

Ah I see the problem. I agree, mine become to fixated on computers at the moment - they don't have anything in their room but all day they want to be on their DSs (the boys anyway). Grrr. In this lovely sunshione...

[turtleglos]

None of my dcs are old enough for fb yet but some of their friends have it. Although ds1 can access the internet on his ipod, he has to use my email address for anything so I know what he has been buying. All pc settings are for under 12(I may change them when he hits 18 )and we use a good security package so I can see what he is doing. I also have all his passwords. We have a rule in our house that there are no secrets, if you don't want anyone to know about it then you probably shouldn't be doing it!This is mainly to keep them safe.

[asdguest]

All mine use Facebook and, sorry to go completely against the grain, I think it is hugely important for children to be allowed privacy so do not follow them and have not got an account. I would hate to think someone was spying on me when I was having a private conversation.

I talk regularly with them about setting up privacy settings, info that is not to be given out, bullying, etc and find they are very good at policing amongst themselves. If that makes me a bad mum, so be it.

[Waiting_For_Godot]

All mine use Facebook and, sorry to go completely against the grain, I think it is hugely important for children to be allowed privacy so do not follow them and have not got an account. I would hate to think someone was spying on me when I was having a private conversation.

I talk regularly with them about setting up privacy settings, info that is not to be given out, bullying, etc and find they are very good at policing amongst themselves. If that makes me a bad mum, so be it.

Well even the most sensible, compliant children are not good enough at policing themselves and can be groomed by very clever, subtle individuals.

[tiredmum]

Well even the most sensible, compliant children are not good enough at policing themselves and can be groomed by very clever, subtle individuals.

Precisely....

[scary mum]

I do agree WFG. My sensible girl got herself in a real pickle - nothing dangerous but completely misunderstanding the public nature of fb, even after being warned and warned.

Also, everyone has secrets, particularly teenagers. I did.
It's a real dilemma, I sincerely believe that they deserve their privacy but they also need protecting. I try to walk the delicate line between the two and don't always succeed.