National statistics of GCSE grades based on KS2 results

[mystery]

So if you follow what DC does at school thoroughly in the period leading to the meeting, you'd know what arguments will be put forward so you can put an early stop to that. Perhaps acknowledge some, maybe refute others so you can make your point clear.

I'm feeling little slow today I think, thank you for the help. Please can you tell me what you mean by following thoroughly waht they do at school ------- almost the sum total I know is that I get her in time in the morning and she comes out at the end of the day!!!

[pabrighton0]

almost the sum total I know is that I get her in time in the morning and she comes out at the end of the day!!!

So what we try to do specially just before a teacher meeting is to try to understand what is going on behaviour-wise at school, what they covered, who has interrupted the flow of the class, etc. We do not quiz DD but just listen with interest when she is talking about what goes on in her class and then follow it from day to day. This is particularly relevant when there is some name calling or anything similar.

We then decide how to tackle the meeting. If the teacher starts making generalisations, we stop it with some facts - they generally cannot tell you anything about anyone else so it is generally a one way information flow. Best to know it and use it to your best advantage.

[yoyo123]

why not just ask to see the teacher, express your concerns, forget conspiracy theories and try and work together??

[pabrighton0]

My child told me today that the teacher tells them in maths to ask one another for help if they can't do a question. I asked her if she found it difficult and had to ask other pupils lots of questions. She said no, all the children in the group asked her for help (she gave names) - apart from one boy who she again named and said he didn't ask her because he didn't need to, he could do it all too.

This is where it gets interesting. Teachers cannot mention the other children's names... So you can carry a conversation in the abstract but knowing exactly what you are saying.

Perhaps try extra hard to start any new point by complimenting the teacher/school on what you think is going well before moving onto covering a topic where the teacher/school should do better. Maybe then describe how you expect your child to be once he/she is happy and excelling at school.

For example I said: "well, I know you have all these children and occasionally disruptive children benefit from a good role model. My DD has done her share of "teaching", she did x half terms with Y. So how about rotating this?"

[pabrighton0]

why not just ask to see the teacher, express your concerns, forget conspiracy theories and try and work together??

I guess in this case, the teacher seems to have categorised mystery as a pushy parent. Agree that working together is the goal.

[yoyo123]

you are both working towards the same goal, to enable the child to fulfil their potential, it is not a contest, you are both on the same side of the tug o' war rope

[mystery]

Hope there's someone on the other end of the rope then, otherwise we'll both fall backwards together in one large heap.

I shouldn't think there's a conspiracy (well I hope not anyhow) but sometimes there can be strange ways things are done which I cannot fathom and which I will never get to the bottom of. So for want of a better word, I just want some good "psychology" to get a win-win situation at the meeting. And yes I think we are both on the same side, aiming for the best, but sometimes as a teacher you have to go for what is best for the class as a whole, and some pretty broad brush approaches, and in doing that it does not always work out the best for some specific individuals .......... which is where having a parent comes in handy (as well as for providing tissues and packed lunches).

[Fran17]

why not just ask to see the teacher, express your concerns, forget conspiracy theories and try and work together??

I agree. Most teachers are just doing what they think is best for your child. I'm not suggesting that they always get it right but if you express your views in a polite and friendly manner, I would hope that the teacher would respond favourably. I would tell them that you feel your DD is losing confidence and would the teacher consider putting her in a higher group for maths. Tell the teacher that you support them in their endeavours and are willing to do whatever it takes to help your DD. Not all parents are as supportive as you and the teacher may be very pleased to hear this. Do be prepared that your views may not be acted upon and in this case I would tell your DD not to worry about which group she is in and to carry on doing her best.

My middle DS could read quite well when he started school and yet his reception teacher insisted he start from the beginning. I did approach her about this but she maintained that it was very important for him to work his way through all the reading books. I accepted this and he read all the school books but we moved on at home. Who knows, maybe going over all the reading books from the start reinforced what he already knew, maybe he benefitted from this. When he went into year 1 the teacher took a different approach and she immediately put him onto free reading. I do understand where you are coming from as once a child loses confidence in their ability it can be quite hard to get it back. I don't think you are a pushy parent, just a concerned one. That's the best kind of parent in my mind. Good luck with it and please let us know the outcome.

[Belinda]

.

[mystery]

Thanks everyone, and Belinda. Definitely no ulcers. I've been through all of this before with DD1 and the normal straightforward approach you all quite sensibly suggest did not work; nothing short of paying a fortune for an Ed Psych report and nearly dropping a bomb on the head and governors made a difference.

This is why I was hoping to have an easier ride second time round, and a little less long-lasting fall-out.

I did try the most obvious approach of "what can I do to help her at home etc etc" numerous times which met a brick wall. Anyhow, this is a different teacher so maybe I am being unduly pessimistic.

Thank you all for the doses of comfort. I will just try the straightforward approach again and hope it works this time round.