What do working parents do about after school childcare?

[Amber]

I agree about the trampoline - only allowed when there are adults around. I've heard too many horror stories. Ours has an integral net, but even so.

So does ours; and I could give you a horror story too. The surgeon who operated on my (also very much unable to sit still - has an exercise ball instead of a chair!) offspring said 'there is a reason why the children of A&E doctors and orthopaedic surgeons don't have trampolines'.

But yes, I would defend the right of any parent to do what they feel works best for them - wasn't being bossy.

[Yamin151]

My sister, a doctor, had a trampoline and subscribed to the 'if they have a net they don't learn to take care' club. Two broken arms later she moved house and didn't take the trampoline with her!
We love the trampoline and do have a safety net around it. Its still not risk free of course so as others have said, never when they are home alone, but then I also try and tell them not to go up and down the stairs while we are not here !
Oh, and I still remind them not to eat skittles while they play with their mates

[memphis]

Thank you so much for sharing your own experience, and ideas! I don't feel so guilty now about the prospects of having to leave him alone a lot come September. I work full time, standard office hours, although from time to time I do work from home.

I'm actually putting together all your invaluable tips and suggestions into a spreadsheet with a bullet list so I have a checklist!

Yamin 151, I agree - with YouTube there's a lot of bad language on it. I have Sky Shield in place which works well. I worry he'd might just play on the Xbox, ipads or his phone all afternoon.

I'm in awe of all your children's independence, sense of responsibility and self-reliant skills. Kudos to you parents. I'm curious as to how do your dc's motivate themselves to do their homework though?

In the past, I have left them alone on a few occassions to run errands or do food shopping, and I always facetime them and they leave the ipad on so I can see them even for a few minutes. I also have a web cam set up on the PC which serves as a CCTV camera and have used it a few times. However, I admit feeling extremely nervous about leaving them alone like that. If I pop out for say 30 minutes then it's just 30 minutes of constant worry for me and that's leaving both ds's. I can't imagine leaving ds1 and he is the more sensible and mature of the two.

That's true Tinkers and I think the notifications are limited to only 1 location. I also use 'find my iphone' but if there any other better apps please do tell.

I like the tinned spaghetti hoops idea. Okay, so keep a couple of canned foods, those easy to microwave sort.

[Yamin151]

I'm very uncomfortable about the idea of a CCTV/Webcam or even a mobile phone tracking device. For me that tips over into not trusting them at all which can in turn make them feel theyy are not capable. I fully realise that by setting rules at all we are all stepping back from leaving them to be fully independent, but I'd like to keep my 'checking' to their safety (text when you're home so I know) rather than checking up on them by looking at them, if that makes sense. Also, as we have found with our reliance on mobile phones, its very hard to put the genie back int he bottle, so if you start using a webcam or whtever, its very hard then to let that go. I am dreading when I can't expect an 'I'm safely home' text anymore, LOL!

[Tinkers]

Take it in baby steps, one thing at a time. Independence doesn't happen over night, it's a skill like any other and needs practise, for both parent and child. Walking by themselves to the shops. Making their own tea, maybe first with you in the kitchen telling them what to do, then just watching, then you in another room and popping in from time to time etc.

As for motivation, if I get home after DD and she hasn't done hw, then the iPad gets hidden away. She knows I mean it.

[memphis]

I'm very uncomfortable about the idea of a CCTV/Webcam or even a mobile phone tracking device. For me that tips over into not trusting them at all which can in turn make them feel theyy are not capable. I fully realise that by setting rules at all we are all stepping back from leaving them to be fully independent, but I'd like to keep my 'checking' to their safety (text when you're home so I know) rather than checking up on them by looking at them, if that makes sense. Also, as we have found with our reliance on mobile phones, its very hard to put the genie back int he bottle, so if you start using a webcam or whtever, its very hard then to let that go. I am dreading when I can't expect an 'I'm safely home' text anymore, LOL!

I never said or suggested that I wanted to 'check' on them? I only have one thing on my mind which is my children's safety. Goodness I never even thought of checking on what they're up to at all, not in the least, until you suggested that I want to 'check' on them. No I'm not suspicious about what they'd do. It's the complete opposite. I'm worried about what other people may do to them. Burglars, etc. who knows.

Also, wi-fi CCTV is very common in other regions, for employers to monitor their live-in nannies because of the high number of child abuse and cruelty cases. Perhaps it's frowned upon here but it provides peace of mind for parents, and has in fact saved children's lives there.

As for the app tracking device, it's for my own peace of mind to know that my ds has safely arrived at school. The thought of checking on them never once crossed my mind until you suggested such a thing. I'm thinking of setting up a few safety/emergency measures, that's all. You can even have use the Find my Kit QR code fastened to their coats, trousers, shirts which is in a way a tracking device.

Wow I only joined this thread to see if it's safe enough to leave dc at home alone, not to 'spy' on them!

Thank you Tinkers. I like the 'agreement' you have in place I might do just that.

As for trampolines, with or without safety nets and parental supervision, have you seen 24 Hours in A&E, series 7 episode 5?

[Yamin151]

Sorry Memphis, I offended you, I apologise.

And yes, accidents can happen on any trampoline, nets or not. I only meant as others said that I feel happier knowing I am within calling distance. I stand by that, but each family makes their own choices.
And I'm sorry about the checking up thing. I didn't intend to offend.

[Amber]

That's a really nice post Yamin.

[Yamin151]

Mea culpa

[Amber]

Mea culpa

Hey, we all do it, and learning to apologise properly is something a lot of adults never even master. What I call 'sorry buts' are not tolerated in this house (i.e., sorry, but here is the list of reasons why I couldn't help my behaviour) and teaching children that apologising isn't the same as admitting 100% guilt is one of the dark arts of parenting.

Off track, sorry. And in turn I hope my views on trampolining haven't offended, but I do think it is best saved for when there are adults present. I wish we had never bought ours to be honest, and also wish my teenagers would grow out of it soon.

I used to have a recurring dream when my children were small that I had gone out and left them all day to their own devices. I used to wake up sweating as it was so graphic.