Homework/revision and parental involvement

[Surferfish]

Social media is the real issue, not the phones per se.

Agreed. Its social media and the internet which can be an addictive distraction which can interfere revision.

The problem is these can be accessed through laptops,tablets etc as well as phones. So do you ban these also? But then what if the DC quite legitimately needs internet access for genuine revision. BBC Bitesize, school website, past papers etc?

[RedPanda]

Social media is the real issue, not the phones per se.

Agreed. Its social media and the internet which can be an addictive distraction which can interfere revision.

The problem is these can be accessed through laptops,tablets etc as well as phones. So do you ban these also? But then what if the DC quite legitimately needs internet access for genuine revision. BBC Bitesize, school website, past papers etc?

Using technology effectively is a skill that needs to be mastered. I think it is one of the hardest skills our DCs have to learn these days. They need our help to get there because it is so addictive. Handing over technology and hoping for the best is irrational - not that I say you have done this Surferfish. I suspect confiscations are inevitable during that learning period unless my kids are different to everyone else's

[RedVelvet]

You can also block websites from your router. I'm not sure how but I know it's possible.

[fairyelephant]

I agree that social media is a big problem but I think gaming is up there too. The problem seems to me to be that screen use is addictive - its very hard to put it down for some people. Having some house rules makes that much easier for the addict! No devices upstairs or while working unless for work purposes work for us but its a very personal thing and some (like DD) will work it out for themselves (or are not as attracted to it) and others (DS!) really struggle and need help to put boundaries in place. I have found the whole screen thing to be the hardest aspect of being a parent of a teen so far and have to admit that I can’t bear seeing DS glued to a screen for ages, it seems so passive and inane

[Guest55]

I've posted tis before but there is a postive side to gaming. When at uni, DS and his friends were able to support another friend, who had lost both his parents, through communicating via XBOX live. This friend says it was an important part of him coping that he knew he had this support.

You need to let them find ways of coping with these issues as you are not around to 'support' or 'remove devices' when they are at uni.

[fairyelephant]

Its good to know there’s a positive side - thanks Guest55.

[Surferfish]

Gaming (PS4) is also the biggest problem with our DS. He used to be obsessed with FIFA, but more recently seems to spend a lot of time playing "Fortnite". (Anyone else's DC's play this one?)

I agree that in small doses gaming can have social benefits, but it can also be a harmful addiction particularly if its interfering with revision and schoolwork. And sometimes responsible parents need to step in and set boundaries IMO.

DS had Y10 exams just before Easter, and we took the step of confiscating his PS4 controller for a couple of weeks during this period. (We allowed him an hour a day on Saturday and Sunday mornings). We expected a big row about it but he actually accepted it surprisingly well. It was almost as if he was grateful for us intervening as he knew that it would affect his revision.

[skipsmash]

Dd2 will not discuss revision. She has said the more we ask her to work, the less she will do.

I can see books all round her bed so just have to hope she's doing something.

Students who needed help were "invited" to go into school for a day in the holidays, by subject. She has An "invitation" for art.

Her siblings did many past papers at home. We went through the answer papers with them.

She just won't accept any help. She's not a top student. I just have to trust she works and hopefully reaches predicted grades.

I don't know how to make her revise.

[Guest55]

skipsmash - if she only has an Art invitation then I think school must think she is OK/on track in everything else.

[RedPanda]

I've posted tis before but there is a postive side to gaming.

I've not read those posts Guess55 but I also see a lot of positives. It gives the mind a workout and can improve problem solving, memory, multitasking, fine motor skills, decision making, analysis, teamwork, perseverance, etc. It all depends on the game of course and shouldn't be the only activity our DCs are doing. Too much is a problem for sure.

I particularly like Minecraft.