What to do if younger child isn't right for GS?
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Midget Man
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Re: What to do if younger child isn't right for GS?
Midget goes to GS in September and I have 2 other children. We went the GS route for DS1 because it was most definitely the right route for him. Whether or not it's the right thing to do for my other two children we don't know, but we would do what is best for them, whether that be the 11+ route or the best comp we can get. I would not put them through the 11+ if I thought it was not the right education for them and I certainly wouldn't do it just because DS1 has. Each child is individual and have individual needs and must be treated so.
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wonderwoman
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Re: What to do if younger child isn't right for GS?
I would say it is difficult to compare children as the oldest always seems ahead. It is difficult to remember what they could do when. My eldest has always seemed very bright, but tests scores at different ages show a remarkable similarity between all DC.
This thread sums up what I dislike about the 11+. We live in a very rural area, I wanted all of mine to go to a comprehensive but the nearest is more than 20 miles away, with no transport available, public or otherwise from where we live and it is heavily over subscribed. Even if I could have got them in, I'd have had to commit to driving them, that's 80 miles a day for 18 years (they're spread out).
I knew 2 of mine would be borderline, so one went to GS, one to secondary modern. Both great schools, but TBH neither quite right for my borderliners. And whilst we have never coached, bought presents or even stated a preference for either school, the one who didn't 'pass' does feel like a failure and it breaks my heart.
We have friends in the same situation and some who are beginning to regret coaching elder children who got a GS place now they have a younger one who won't pass even with endless coaching, but is desperate to go to GS.
Sadly I don't think there is a correct answer, as parents we do our best and if I could do things again, I might not put any in for the 11+. I know my children best, but I don't always get it right.
This thread sums up what I dislike about the 11+. We live in a very rural area, I wanted all of mine to go to a comprehensive but the nearest is more than 20 miles away, with no transport available, public or otherwise from where we live and it is heavily over subscribed. Even if I could have got them in, I'd have had to commit to driving them, that's 80 miles a day for 18 years (they're spread out).
I knew 2 of mine would be borderline, so one went to GS, one to secondary modern. Both great schools, but TBH neither quite right for my borderliners. And whilst we have never coached, bought presents or even stated a preference for either school, the one who didn't 'pass' does feel like a failure and it breaks my heart.
We have friends in the same situation and some who are beginning to regret coaching elder children who got a GS place now they have a younger one who won't pass even with endless coaching, but is desperate to go to GS.
Sadly I don't think there is a correct answer, as parents we do our best and if I could do things again, I might not put any in for the 11+. I know my children best, but I don't always get it right.
Re: What to do if younger child isn't right for GS?
We did what was right for the family. I can't drive, so having our DC at different schools would've been an absolute nightmare! We tried to choose schools that DS would be happy at and the single sex grammar school was included, but only at number 3. Some people were surprised, but they tended to be those with just one child, those where there were 2 drivers in the family or those who had DC of the same gender. Sometimes having a less stressed-out family is just as important. (If the sibling policy goes, however, we could be in a bit of trouble.)
Re: What to do if younger child isn't right for GS?
Sherwood, I can only agree with the majority here in saying that Year 2 is very early to be thinking about this. Have another look at the situation at the end of Year 3 at the earliest - things can and do change.
My younger child (first year at secondary school) had several primary school classmates who got scholarships to a particular boys' school which surprised me. I'd helped in her class since reception so I'd seen them at work in class and had also had access to their exercise books - none of them seemed outstanding but obviously they had developed in Years 5 and 6 (when I no longer helped).
In any case, if you don't make it seem like failure if grammar school turns out not to be an option, your child shouldn't think that way either.
My younger child (first year at secondary school) had several primary school classmates who got scholarships to a particular boys' school which surprised me. I'd helped in her class since reception so I'd seen them at work in class and had also had access to their exercise books - none of them seemed outstanding but obviously they had developed in Years 5 and 6 (when I no longer helped).
In any case, if you don't make it seem like failure if grammar school turns out not to be an option, your child shouldn't think that way either.
In our family it's the younger child who is naturally more academic (though lazy), which is one reason they don't go to the same secondary school. Somehow, being upstaged by an older sibling seems natural while being upstaged by a younger one is just embarrassing/upsetting however much we as parents try to play it down.wonderwoman wrote:I would say it is difficult to compare children as the oldest always seems ahead.
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frustrated
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Re: What to do if younger child isn't right for GS?
I have two children. The first is going to a GS in September, which I feel he would suit, due to his academic AND personal nature.
My younger son is currently in year 4, and is showing high academic ability, particularly in maths and is on the G&T register, but as things stand, I don't think that he will enjoy a GS, and he doesn't feel that he wants to go down that route either, and has already told me that he doesn't want to go to a GS (he came with us last year when we were looking at schools for my older son, and prefers the comps and non-selective schools more - although we were looking at schools for my other son, he was taking it all in too) but things might change.
I think that it is a case of weighing up nearer the time and talking to your child to see what they think as well. In terms of sitting the test, I will be putting my son's name down, as we can always pull out later but we can't change our mind about sitting it if we haven't put his name down.
On a personal level, I will take both my child's personality and academic ability into account when deciding what to do and will choose a school that best suits him as a WHOLE person rather than just academic suitablity so that he could (theoretically) get the most out of wherever he may go.
My younger son is currently in year 4, and is showing high academic ability, particularly in maths and is on the G&T register, but as things stand, I don't think that he will enjoy a GS, and he doesn't feel that he wants to go down that route either, and has already told me that he doesn't want to go to a GS (he came with us last year when we were looking at schools for my older son, and prefers the comps and non-selective schools more - although we were looking at schools for my other son, he was taking it all in too) but things might change.
I think that it is a case of weighing up nearer the time and talking to your child to see what they think as well. In terms of sitting the test, I will be putting my son's name down, as we can always pull out later but we can't change our mind about sitting it if we haven't put his name down.
On a personal level, I will take both my child's personality and academic ability into account when deciding what to do and will choose a school that best suits him as a WHOLE person rather than just academic suitablity so that he could (theoretically) get the most out of wherever he may go.
Re: What to do if younger child isn't right for GS?
How did I get away with the 'same gender' comment? It doesn't make sense, not even to me!Some people were surprised, but they tended to be those with just one child, those where there were 2 drivers in the family or those who had DC of the same gender.
Re: What to do if younger child isn't right for GS?
I'm now getting puzzled and panicky and feeling like a Bad Mother. This also allies with something in another strand (where? can't possibly remember) to do with the keeping up at GS. Children (and, for the sake of argument I'm talking here about the children who are more likely to be streamed highly at comprehensives, and of GS children) all come out of y11 with their 8-11 (or thereabouts) GCSEs. So what is it about GS which makes it unlikeable or hard to keep up with, if the CS school children achieve the same??
I'll argue that this is On Topic because it's all to do with being right for / what happens at GS!!
Answers appreciated!
I'll argue that this is On Topic because it's all to do with being right for / what happens at GS!!
Answers appreciated!
Re: What to do if younger child isn't right for GS?
Actually this one always kind of gets my goat a bit, Milla, and personally I wouldn't worry about it.
In every class there will be children who breeze through the work and those that don't. Even comprehensives are setting children now because they realise that it leads to better results over all. With the best will in the world you will never produce a whole class of academic identi-kits. Some children will be the bottom markers some the top and often it will vary from subject to subject apart from those few bright sparks who excel at everything and they are few.
There will be children who struggle but many of those will still look back at their school life and the results they achieved and think yes it was worth it. My guess is that the ones that go off the rails and flunk everything are often not the struggler's but the incredibly bright who just can't cope with the restrictions of school life. Society at the moment seems to have got a bit skewed and there is this attitude that everything should be made easy for our DC. The real adult world just isn't like that and we do our children no favours by continually pretending otherwise.
Re OP life was easier years ago because parents didn't have the choice and I personally think we shouldn't now as we are too subjective when it comes to our own children.
My brother failed his 11+ my parents knew that was going to be the case as he was not academically gifted. My sister failed but shouldn't have , my parents appealed and were unsuccessful but my sister was moved to the grammar at 13+ time. Her secondary school always knew she was in the wrong school as everything was far too easy for her. I passed and being lazy had I not done so I wouldn't have done as well academically as I did. I think we have to treat our children as individuals it is not fair to sacrifice one's opportunities for another's.
There are many gifts that children can have, my brother was excellent at darts and has played for his country, my father supported him throughout. Just make sure that your DC know that. Life is not just about having one particular strength be it academic or athletic it is about far more. I think both my sister and brother did feel a little inferior because of what happened but then it was a different time and the alternative schools were not always so good. Plus there were people in my family who did think that passing the 11+ was the bee all and end all. It is not.
In every class there will be children who breeze through the work and those that don't. Even comprehensives are setting children now because they realise that it leads to better results over all. With the best will in the world you will never produce a whole class of academic identi-kits. Some children will be the bottom markers some the top and often it will vary from subject to subject apart from those few bright sparks who excel at everything and they are few.
There will be children who struggle but many of those will still look back at their school life and the results they achieved and think yes it was worth it. My guess is that the ones that go off the rails and flunk everything are often not the struggler's but the incredibly bright who just can't cope with the restrictions of school life. Society at the moment seems to have got a bit skewed and there is this attitude that everything should be made easy for our DC. The real adult world just isn't like that and we do our children no favours by continually pretending otherwise.
Re OP life was easier years ago because parents didn't have the choice and I personally think we shouldn't now as we are too subjective when it comes to our own children.
My brother failed his 11+ my parents knew that was going to be the case as he was not academically gifted. My sister failed but shouldn't have , my parents appealed and were unsuccessful but my sister was moved to the grammar at 13+ time. Her secondary school always knew she was in the wrong school as everything was far too easy for her. I passed and being lazy had I not done so I wouldn't have done as well academically as I did. I think we have to treat our children as individuals it is not fair to sacrifice one's opportunities for another's.
There are many gifts that children can have, my brother was excellent at darts and has played for his country, my father supported him throughout. Just make sure that your DC know that. Life is not just about having one particular strength be it academic or athletic it is about far more. I think both my sister and brother did feel a little inferior because of what happened but then it was a different time and the alternative schools were not always so good. Plus there were people in my family who did think that passing the 11+ was the bee all and end all. It is not.
Re: What to do if younger child isn't right for GS?
I'm very sceptical about whether this phenomenon of "children who can't keep up at GS" really exists (hope I'm not tempting fate there! - exam results due this week and if I'd done as much revision as our son I'd expect...errrr, well, the kind of results I used to get 
). But if there is such a thing, I would have thought you two would be ideally placed to know - Gloucs must be positively rife with it, given the heady combination of an eminently trainable VR exam and very high achieving super-selectives. Is it a recognisable problem or is the whole thing just urban myth?
Mike
). But if there is such a thing, I would have thought you two would be ideally placed to know - Gloucs must be positively rife with it, given the heady combination of an eminently trainable VR exam and very high achieving super-selectives. Is it a recognisable problem or is the whole thing just urban myth?Mike
Re: What to do if younger child isn't right for GS?
http://www.elevenplusexams.co.uk/forum/ ... e&start=20
I think that might be the thread you mean, Milla.
Like you, I am mystified about what exactly it is with which supposedly bright children are going to be unable to cope. One poster suggests the pace is faster, but as they don't leave school any early than anyone else, I think that can only be true to a limited extent. The only real difficulty could come if a child was too weak to take a higher level GCSE as many grammars really do not like the idea of doing even one foundation level, but in healthy children who have passed a grammar test this is most unlikely.
I think that might be the thread you mean, Milla.
Like you, I am mystified about what exactly it is with which supposedly bright children are going to be unable to cope. One poster suggests the pace is faster, but as they don't leave school any early than anyone else, I think that can only be true to a limited extent. The only real difficulty could come if a child was too weak to take a higher level GCSE as many grammars really do not like the idea of doing even one foundation level, but in healthy children who have passed a grammar test this is most unlikely.
