Can anyone out there advise about what age DC become self-motivated? And does it vary between the sexes? Are girls more self-motivated than boys at an earlier age? My DC is a couple of years off the 11+ prep but even now he is very resistant to sitting down and doing the school homework, let alone anything I might try and put in front of him. He says that he doesn't mind working at school because he can see other people also working but, at home, he doesn't have that group work. Some days are better than others and I know he can be tired or feeling run-down etc. But it can be a real trial (and a lot of undignified yelling on my part
) to get him to actually do it. It doesn't matter if the work is easy, reasonably challenging or just plain hard.
He is a lovely lovely boy, eager, interested, very keen to learn. But I think he can't see why he has to work at home, so all homework etc is slightly resentfully achieved. I haven't mentioned the 11+ or secondary schools to him yet - I don't want to frighten him or put the pressure on too early but I worry, when it comes to it, he won't see it's relevance/ importance to him.
Any advise you can give will be much appreciated.
Eek-I had to do a double-take to check I hadn't written this! My DS is in Y5 and is still not keen on doing anything in particular! We have had many long arduous 'let's sit down and discuss why we are doing this' conversations and about this time last year *we* agreed to do a Bond maths, a Bond English/comprehension and some sort of VR practice paper each week. He would never volunteer to do it, but knows it needs to be done if he wants to go to the local grammar school. Some days are better than others-if you catch him in a good mood or whilst he's waiting for something he's been looking forward to it's great, yet at other times he can be sullen and miserable. This really gets me as I know all of his friends go to tutors and I'm positive they don't strop and get miserable with the tutors-yet DS can sometimes be very 'Kevin the teenager' about it all (as it's me doing it; even though he knows I'm a teacher-I'm still just 'mum' to him) which makes me think we might as well not have bothered with the last hour as he's been so obstructive about it.
I could easily have just said 'right-we'll leave it if you don't want to do any extra work', but then I *know* all his friends have tutors and are doing work (which defeats his-'nobody else is doing it' argument) and I think when November (September?) comes, he'll suddenly decide he really wants to go and it will be far too late.
I don't have any magic tips for you, but wanted to say that we were (and still are, really) in the same boat. It's a slow painful process, but hopefully will be worth it in the end!!