Grammars, no thanks!

[Newbie]

I was worried as my son was not a natural genuis but would be mixing with very bright kids and loose confidence. In the end I decided I could not deny my son the opportunity to attend the top school. If he didn't fit in or like it I could always choose to remove him to the state school, whereas I could not have done it the other way round.

My son did find it difficult at first and did loose a bit of confidence at the start however, he has settled in now and is doing well. He is not the brightest but he is doing well above average and has developed good studying habits which the school instills and i don't think he would have done as well at a state school.

I would suggest that you not worry about the grammar school. Your son is still young and may change his career objectives and in the end an academic grounding will always be some use and if he has aritistic talent he can still develop that outside the school.

Hope that helps

[Newbie]

Sorry just realised my post above had the first two setnences missing :

I too was faced with a situation of choosing between state and grammar school. My son was offered a place at a grammar school that was top of the league tables. I was worried as my son was not a natural genius but would be mixing with very bright kids and loose confidence. In the end I decided I could not deny my son the opportunity to attend the top school. If he didn't fit in or like it I could always choose to remove him to the state school, whereas I could not have done it the other way round.

My son did find it difficult at first and did loose a bit of confidence at the start however, he has settled in now and is doing well. He is not the brightest but he is doing well above average and has developed good studying habits which the school instills and i don't think he would have done as well at a state school.

I would suggest that you not worry about the grammar school. Your son is still young and may change his career objectives and in the end an academic grounding will always be some use and if he has artistic talent he can still develop that outside the school.

Hope that helps

[jah]

Although the name "Grammar School" suggests otherwise, Grammar Schools can be good places for potential engineers to go because they tend to be be strong on Maths (many comps do not offer Further Maths A'level), and they also offer the three separate sciences at GCSE.

Oh.. And anyone with any brain knows that there are more important things in life than a tidy house! I returned to work just so that no-one could expect me to do any housework. And just to make sure, I'm doing a part-time MSc in Road Management and Engineering as well! I temp so that I can have school holidays off, which is the best of both worlds!

[Guest]

And then there is me and mine. Top set of a sink school. Left with 1 O'level. Absolutely unable to punctuate a straightforward sentence with confidence and not qualified for shop work. My two eldest, post grammar education are at Cambridge, my yougest sat her 11+ this week. I pray she makes it. I would not have any child subjected to 5 years at a school like mine. There are comps and there are comps.

[41juliette]

My son received hardly any coaching,except maybe a few weeks of attempts from me,but he still passed.......He is smart......Best place........The local academic school(i call them that).I pay a few pounds.......But his education is guaranteed.

[Guest]

And then there is me and mine. Top set of a sink school. Left with 1 O'level. Absolutely unable to punctuate a straightforward sentence with confidence and not qualified for shop work. My two eldest, post grammar education are at Cambridge, my yougest sat her 11+ this week. I pray she makes it. I would not have any child subjected to 5 years at a school like mine. There are comps and there are comps.

Me again! No, youngest did not make it. The competition was too steep. As with the other two we did no prep. This time it was our error as it seems most others did. In another region she would have passed but ours is just too tough. We did get a very decent comp, not the best the town has to offer in league terms, but nothing like the one I attended, and whilst initially I was disappointed, I have rallied and feel pretty lucky.
It was lovely coming back with the knowledge of the outcome and reading the first post again on this thread. It is encouraging.
I have not held my head in shame though, and have heartily congratulated those that managed it. I know what a lovely time it is for them.
The dress may not fit me but i can see that it's pretty!

What I would say having gone through the experience now is, wouldn't it be good for children to take the test first and then apply to schools with their results already in hand. Would save so much grief.

[angelz]

[/quote]
What I would say having gone through the experience now is, wouldn't it be good for children to take the test first and then apply to schools with their results already in hand. Would save so much grief.[/quote]

I quite agree. This is exactly what Lincs have done for the first time this year and it took all of the difficulty out of the decision. If the child passed then Grammar could be put as first preference, if not the comp of your choice could be put first giving the child much more chance of getting their first choice offer. So simple but such a long time coming in many areas.

angelz

[bungeeful]

I read your post with interest & it has helped to clarify a few things. My Nephew like your son has just been refused a place at GS. My sister-in-law phoned me on results day in tears that he'd be going to the local Comprehensive. I, too felt his pain that his hard work had all been for nothing. We didn't over coach him, we didn't bribe him, we treated the practice papers as a fun activity that would keep his interest, we increased the intensity as it got closer to the 11+ but that was it. He had a tutor for the final few weeks as that was all we could afford. Results arrived and as I said he didn't qualify, we felt as if we'd let him down. His Primary school isn't a particularly good one & perhaps that in itself was enough to hinder things. We were naive in studying for this momentous important year of his life & everything I now know on this subject I've learned from this site. I had no idea that there were parents over coaching their kids, getting tutors 2 years prior to the test & kids were struggling to cope with their years at GS. Thankyou for such a positive story. I will be sure to inform my Nephew that we're proud of his achievements & some times things can turn out for the better from the worse case scenario. Well done to every child that sat this test

[Fran17]

My eldest is at a Catholic Comprehensive and the next two at grammar. We are equally proud of all of them and think we chose the schools that suited their individual personalities and abilities - we chose not to put our eldest through the 11+ process not because he was less able but we felt he was a late developer and didn't want to put him under pressure. He is just about to sit his GCSEs in May/June and is predicted fab grades (fingers crossed). Having read everyones comments I have just asked whether it bothers him that his brothers go to grammar schools and he does not - does he feel somehow inferior - he gave me the best answer ever - he said 'No, because I know I am not - you sent me to the best school for me and I love it. I know that I will do well if I work hard.' No one should ever feel embarrassed that their child didn't make it to grammar school - and no one should feel superior that their children have. The most important thing is to make all our children feel special - and most people I know feel the same as we do.

[Cats12]

The most important thing is to make all our children feel special - and most people I know feel the same as we do.

A lovely sentiment and so true. I have 1 child at grammar and one on a waiting list. 1st DC loves the school and v recently said "I'm so glad I didn;t go to...." referring to the local comp. The thing is DC only knows the school at now so is bound to say that and hopefully would have made the most at the local comp if it was the only option. DC gets homework but not too much and most importantly is happy.
I myself am from a household where 1 sibling went to grammar and the other 3 couldn't as rules changed and comps were set up. The sibling who went to grammar did v well, cazillions of o'levels, a-levels and 2 degrees (yes only 2!) while other siblings did well but not so many o'levels/degrees (just 1 degree apiece!). Thing is the non-grammar DCs are doing better in life in all areas. My point is the school can only do so much - the rest is up to the individual - as parents we just try to give what we think is the best start.