GCSEs in your family this summer? Come and hide here!

[Moonlight]

What does he want to do in the future?

Year 11 is hard and pupils cannot always understand why As are a better foundation than grade Bs and grade Cs. The more As he gets then the more options post school are open to him. A levels results generally link to GCSE grades and outcomes for pupils with GCSE grade B/Cs are far less good.

The trouble is I have a daughter who just does not seem to realise the importance of trying to get as high a grade as possible. She has a rough idea of what she wants to study at A level but nothing concrete. She hasn't a clue what she wants to do after this and won't even research different possibilities.

She now has a three week break in which she needs to study every day (I think she should anyway). She has no revision timetable and I don't think she approaches revision as effectively as she could.

Can you give me any ideas as to how to approach all of this? Today we have just ended up arguing.

I just want her to try her best and to know that, when those results come in on August 23rd, she can look at them and be ecstatic knowing that she has 'given it her all'. I would be devastated if she suddenly realised that she could have done things so differently.

[cherryvalley]

Thanks everyone for the comments so far.

I realise the impetus should come from him, but it isn't at the moment, so I will just have to carry on cajoling and nagging for now! He says he wants to study Biology at university, but it doesn't seem to be inspiring him much. I have already told him that the higher the GCSE grades he gets, the more options will be open to him.

Anyway, we sat down yesterday and drew up a list of the homework and revision he (and I) think need to be done this holiday. Now he just needs to start on it!

I was encouraged to find a Gold certificate for the Intermediate Maths Challenge in his bag - he hadn't mentioned it. It's just a shame it's now too late for him to get A* in the Maths GCSE (I think he would need to get 98-99% in Unit 3 to manage it).

Thanks again and good to luck to everyone else trying to encourage their DCs to revise.

[peppermum]

I have enjoyed reading this thread as I am in the throes of supervising GCSE revision.

Amongst all the cries to confiscate/nag/moan/talk about the dire consequences for the future, is anyone offering inducements/bribes and treats for those top grades?? I find carrots work much better than sticks with teenage boys!

[scary mum]

I would never offer an inducement for a high grade. I do reward effort though. What if you offered a reward for an A* which was narrowly missed? Would you still reward them and teach them that next time they don't need to bother, or would you not reward them and therefore punish them for getting an A?

This is my first go at GCSEs so maybe I will feel differently in the future, but this is the approach I have used for 11 plus - rewarded effort and made it separate in time from the results.

My main problem is getting DD out of bed. Any hints and tips out there for resetting a teenage body clock?

[peppermum]

I thought the thread was very focussed on the nagging/confiscation etc - I've tried and failed with all of that and all it causes is arguments. I was wondering if anyone was finding a different tack any more useful.

How do you measure effort? In the real world its results that count. I don't see missing out as punishment really, but if I (and school) think he's capable then I'm going offer an inducement.

No tips on getting them out of bed - we have agreed 3x50 minute revision sessions so it's really up to him when he starts - he knows the sooner he starts the sooner he finishes!

[Amber]

I don't agree with any of the nagging or bribing options though I would probably confiscate something if a child was wasting masses of time on it, whether or not they had exams.
I do think they need to take responsibility for their own learning and the sooner they learn to do that the better. I think one disastrous set of exam results in Year 7 or 8 is probably enough to ram the revision message home. Certainly no one ever reminded our generation to revise, and the consequences were mine alone if I didn't. I realise this all sounds a bit pompous but my kids have grown up knowing they are masters of their own destiny and I will not be there drawing up timetables or doing their work with or for them. My DD is very conscientious despite growing up in a home which has discouraged homework and even, at times, school attendance. My sons are possibly more 'typical' in that they will leave things to the last minute but I do try to hold my nerve and not nag.

I would never reward results, ever. I feel the reward is the good result. I got a result today for a masters module and I can tell you no material goodies could improve on the feeling I have (unless you're reading this, DOH...champagne is always nice ). That said, every parent is different, every family is different and if it works for you, as long as it's not illegal or dangerous, then why not?

In terms of hours, DD was told at school she ought to have done 60 hours revision for her GCSEs which somehow she has decided is 4 hours a day during the holidays.

Edited to add: what I did do, before their first 'proper' exams in Year 7, was teach them how to revise, and showed them how to draw up a timetable with proportionate weight for each subject. And I would of course never refuse to help explain something they were struggling with or help them access resources. I am not that much of an old bag.

[Fran17]

Well done on your results Amber.

I have some essays to be getting on with myself. I settled down about an hour ago and middle DS (who is revising for GCSEs) came in about half an hour ago and caught me downloading some books on to my kindle. We joked about me not getting on with my work.

He just walked in again and caught me on the forum. I have decided I am not setting a very good example.

As for me nagging, DS1 is 18 in four weeks and is a bit past that now but DS2 has asked me to keep nagging him. As for rewards we always reward effort. Sometimes no matter how hard they work, things just don't seem to go their way.

I have always found hoovering the landing and accidentally banging on their bedroom doors helps to wake them up.

[Rob Clark]

According to both DC’s schools, girls (generally) switch on to independent learning earlier than boys, around 13-14 as opposed to 15-16. No doubt lots of you can tell me stories to contradict this, and I’m sure it is very much a generalisation, but we have been told it many times and it broadly seems to hold true in our household… Both schools have further said that boys (generally) get it just in time for their GCSEs, but that it can be a close-run thing – perhaps too close for comfort for some parents

DS maintains that he won‘t need ‘encouragement’ at A level because then he will only be studying the subjects he enjoys; we shall see. He has asked to be woken at 9am every day during the Easter holidays, which is about 4 hours earlier than he would normally surface, so I take that as a good sign.

Amber, DS was given a figure of 60 hours too, interestingly. Though he favours 6 hours a day during the week and the weekend off

[Amber]

According to both DC’s schools, girls (generally) switch on to independent learning earlier than boys, around 13-14 as opposed to 15-16. No doubt lots of you can tell me stories to contradict this, and I’m sure it is very much a generalisation, but we have been told it many times and it broadly seems to hold true in our household… Both schools have further said that boys (generally) get it just in time for their GCSEs, but that it can be a close-run thing – perhaps too close for comfort for some parents

I am a bit suprised that schools would be passing on this kind of stereotype 'many times' tbh. I have never heard it said 'officially' by anyone in education, though perhaps I haven't read the right books. As you rightly speculate, someone will be along to contradict it and that someone, predictably, is me! Many little girls are very much into independent learning a full decade before they are 13, and many have lost interest in it by the time they are 15. And many boys are diligent self starters too. I don't think it serves anyone well, least of all the boys, to be told by a school 'oh it's ok because you're a boy, and so it could be some time before you manage to get your head round this revision lark.'

I have read some stuff, but not masses, on gender differences in education, and yes they are there, especially in the early years; but I don't think it is helpful for schools to encourage parents to think it is all a curse of nature. But yes, I would say that wouldn't I?, and I am sure that at least one of my sons will probably have me running for chapter and verse on it in a few years time.

There was actually someone (a man) who had an article printed in the educational press a couple of years ago suggesting that girls were disadvantaged in exams by their menstrual cycles. Can't see that one getting us very far, girls.

[Fran17]

She now has a three week break in which she needs to study every day (I think she should anyway). She has no revision timetable and I don't think she approaches revision as effectively as she could.

Can you give me any ideas as to how to approach all of this? Today we have just ended up arguing.

I just want her to try her best and to know that, when those results come in on August 23rd, she can look at them and be ecstatic knowing that she has 'given it her all'. I would be devastated if she suddenly realised that she could have done things so differently.

Moonlight, it's very tough getting a balance isn't it. I honestly believe a revision timetable is very important and useful in helping them to get into some sort of routine. I helped my two eldest sons with this and it did seem to motivate them.

My eldest was a bit defensive at first when it came to me mentioning his GCSE revision. I didn't let that deter me as I didn't want to get to August and regret not having done my best to encourage him to work hard. Once he got into the swing of it he said he quite enjoyed the routine of it.