Agreement not to share exam results on this forum. Why?

[Yamin151]

Totally agree with KCG that all that is reasonable to share is that your child achieved enough for the next stage. Like it or not, anything more than that IS boasting. Now, whether or not that boasting is allowed is a matter of debate, but the necessity of sharing the results and therefore the motivation for sharing is not in question. Totally agree that they are not our results to share, however much you have helped along the way. I have been struggling with a certain well known social media site with the tedious rash of results shout outs, not so much from people who post a lot, but from those who never post except to come in and show off about their youngsters. We are not in a significant results year but I have already resolved not to share anything, even though I am a frequent poster on the site - I didn't do it with 11+ and I won't do it with THEIR exam results. Of course the difficulty is that human nature is such that if you don't post then its assumed your child's results were disappointing, and that is hard to just stay quiet about as a parent, but again, unless it bothers our teen it shouldn't bother us.
A propos of nothing - I sat with some nice mums the other day who were sharing A level results in a small group setting and each of them had achieved what the wanted but all had mixes of ABB/BBB/BBC/AAB etc etc - it was SOOOOO refereshing to hear people celebrating those results instead of only seeing those people who post about the 9 x 9s or the A*A*A*. Maybe it is sour grapes - I'm sure some of that is there, but there is no doubt that it also does feed into the general belief that academic prowess is ALL and anything less is "never mind". The sooner we stop only 'really' celebrating or striving for the absolute top mark in certain places and bring celebrations down to having successfully passed through what is, after all, just a gateway to the next stage, the better.

[piggys]

I also gave my blood and sweat guiding and driving him around to all his work commitments. It wasn't an individual achievement, it was team work. And every team member has an equal right to do what they feel is appropriate with results.

This is exactly what other posters object to MSD. Are you really incapable of grasping that this is a) wrong and b) boasting? You clearly see yourself as an intrinsic part of this GCSE success, contributing your ' blood and sweat'. Why all the hyperbole? it is highly distasteful. Moreover you have started a whole new thread merely to prolong the boast. Wow.

It is not good form to spell out results like this, and repeat them over and over. Your ds can spell it out to his friend etc all he wants, but as parents/guardians and teachers we (at least most of us) attempt to maintain some subtlety and maturity in acknowledging that exams are not a level playing field for all the reasons spelled out on this and the other thread. There will be dc who worked just as hard as yours who did not get the same results, just as there will be some d who didn't necessarily slog it out but aced some subjects because they are naturally gifted. Some teachers will be better than others, some dc struggle with all manner of home disruptions...etc etc.

A few years ago when I was working in one of the London SS one of my y11s managed to get a C in her English language GCSE and was utterly thrilled. Do you know why? because she had struggled like mad with the subject (having obtained a music place at the school and with non-English speaking parents) but with lots of hard slog she got there. It was one of my best ever results. Is her C lesser than someone else's 9? We both know the answer to that one.

Time to bow out now - this thread should be locked and quite possibly deleted.

[loobylou]

I've already made clear on the other thread what I think about achievement being equated with effort/hard work.
Personally I don't quite feel the same as some of the other forum members about sharing grades, although I respect the position of the forum. Personally I love hearing about my friends' children's results. I have often talked to them about their fears/hopes/worries etc beforehand and I love to hear how they've done.
A close friend and I celebrated already last week when her child achieved sufficient 4s and 5s and 6s to get into a comprehensive sixth form to get a new start after a hideously difficult time at her indie - they were genuinely not expecting those results and it was a time to shout them from the rooftops in her parents' view - and I can understand that better than keeping quiet about them.
But those are the rules so I accept that that's how it is on here.

[Yamin151]

I'm just totally saddened and horrified that our medical schools are to be populated by a cohort entirely made up of the top 3% exam performers. Notwithstanding english language, our best doctors are surely bright individuals with academic prowess but more importantly the ability to be human in so many ways.
Controversially (flame me, but I'm talking % not all of them) I would suggest that a lot of straight 9s students might be ones who we all used to call 'boffins' and are possibly more suited to research and not to a job that relies so heavily on people skills - sorry.

But that is not the students fault - it starts from the top down and the facilities and finance to be able to make interviews a KEY part of the application process instead of just paper results - if they do not interview, what else can they rely on???

[MSD]

Only someone pretty stupid would not grasp this.

Admin, what's your stance on such derogatory language? Is it acceptable on forum etiquette rules. Although, I only logged on this thread yesterday, I have noticed similar hostile and unjustified behaviour from Piggy towards other OP's too. And please do not lock this thread as most OP's are capable of having a civil discussion.

[Sally-Anne]

Personally I love hearing about my friends' children's results. I have often talked to them about their fears/hopes/worries etc beforehand and I love to hear how they've done.
A close friend and I celebrated already last week when her child achieved sufficient 4s and 5s and 6s to get into a comprehensive sixth form to get a new start after a hideously difficult time at her indie - they were genuinely not expecting those results and it was a time to shout them from the rooftops in her parents' view - and I can understand that better than keeping quiet about them.
But those are the rules so I accept that that's how it is on here.

I think the point is made by the words I've highlighted in red.

People do strike up online friendships through the forum, and some go on to real-life friendships, but the vast majority of us are strangers to each other.

Some people may indeed share their child's results with complete strangers in real life (hard to imagine, but I suppose there are those who do), but it isn't something that we encourage on the forum for the reasons I outlined above.

(MSD, x-post with you, and I will deal with the comment you have flagged once I have coffee ...)

[piggys]

I have removed that sentence from my post; it was not directed at you personally MSD, although if you take it as such then so be it.

This is a thread about a thread and the only reason for its existence is for you to boast.

[Sally-Anne]

Admin, what's your stance on such derogatory language? Is it acceptable on forum etiquette rules.

No it is not acceptable, but as you can see, in the intervening few minutes, the poster has self-moderated her comments.

[kenyancowgirl]

If you had to have more input than that, such as taking him to a tutor for extra sessions etc, then one would have to question what you are celebrating.

One could then also argue the parents who work with their children at home, giving them that extra support, have nothing to celebrate. Or for that matter the majority of 11+ children receiving tuitions and many thousands attending independent schools to get a better education

My italics....I would have to say that, like any school, the standard in independent schools varies massively so this blanket "better education" is misleading.

My point is this - if, and I have to make an assumption based on your comment about your blodd sweat and tears and driving him to his GCSE commitments that he has had some sort of extra input - that it could be seen to be argued that you are celebrating that you have the wherewithal (financial/time/ability) to give him this extra leg up, compared with, say, the child who works their socks off to achieve their C, coming from a family with literally nothing - either way, as a stranger, I can't celebrate that with you in the way you want me to.

I do have to ask a simple question: Why? Why is it so important to you to have your child's results validated by complete strangers on the internet?
I can't imagine ever needing to do this.

[loobylou]

I'm just totally saddened and horrified that our medical schools are to be populated by a cohort entirely made up of the top 3% exam performers. Notwithstanding english language, our best doctors are surely bright individuals with academic prowess but more importantly the ability to be human in so many ways.
Controversially (flame me, but I'm talking % not all of them) I would suggest that a lot of straight 9s students might be ones who we all used to call 'boffins' and are possibly more suited to research and not to a job that relies so heavily on people skills - sorry.

But that is not the students fault - it starts from the top down and the facilities and finance to be able to make interviews a KEY part of the application process instead of just paper results - if they do not interview, what else can they rely on???

There has always been this element of taking "top performers" at exams although far more in the last 20 years. I think part of the reason is the sheer volume of learning required at medical school. I have known delightful teenagers who would have made great doctors in the days when empathy was about all you could offer. Now there is so much to know, so much that you need to know from as soon as you can, so little time to cram it all in - medical schools have frequent exams and it's the only way to test the basic knowledge - the rate of complaints against doctors is going up (latest estimates) by 5% a year. Some of that is about attitude, lots is about action/inaction - even if most of it is spurious - one can't afford to have not got the knowledge
Plus some type of doctor genuinely need to be super clever in my opinion (anaesthetists spring to mind).
I personally think we will see an increasing number of medical schools prioritising post-grad (it's already happening in some schools) who have provef their intellectual capabilities but are also less likely to be doing medicine because their school/parents think it's a good idea. Once you have a good degree, GCSEs are obviously irrelevant.
Sorry, long winded way of saying that I think unfortunately the ability to take and pass exams and cream your head full of knowledge for the sake of exams, is increasingly a skill required for medicine..