Anyone see Oxford's big story yesterday?

[wonderwoman]

Cambridge is a popular choice at DC grammar. Can't remember anyone going to Oxford, but several go to Cambridge every year .

[Daogroupie]

I am afraid I have to agree with Workhard and Guest55. We know a very bright girl who went to Oxford to read Engineering but left because she felt very isolated and found the boys on her course very hostile. I had this type of experience at University many many years ago but was very surprised to hear it was still a problem. She moved to a redbrick and is really happy. At our local underperforming college I know one girl who turned down Medicine at Oxford and another who did not even apply for English after visiting because she found the people unfriendly. We have already encountered this attitude at our local netball club among those who consider themselves to be our local elite so would imagine it is a lot worse when you don't get to go home at night! I think it could well be restricted to certain courses, I would certainly hope so. But the message from all three was the same, loved the course but could not manage all that time with the people. When I went it was a total shock as I had not encountered that level of snobbery before, but if my dd was to go she has already had it in spades, had it during the eleven plus exams, especially at St Pauls, so it would not be a surprise to her. DG

[menagerie]

Come now. I think these young people have to toughen up a bit. To scuttle away from a great education because you think people aren't friendly enough is a whopping great chip on the shoulder that it would make sense to overcome.

I went to Oxford from a Northern comp. Yes at times I was ridiculed for my accent, and acutely aware that I was by far the poorest person I knew. But so what? I had fabulous teaching and great opportunities. For a long time having been to Oxford meant nothing to me. Much later in life, however, when I wanted to change profession, it has been a brilliant door opener. People take you seriously. They give you a chance, if you studied there. Why throw that away because you feel cowed by braying voices in the quad?

[solimum]

There are colleges with a higher proportion of state schooled students that can make the initial culture shock a little easier - but remember Oxbridge has a much lower drop-out rate than most other universities, and that moving away from home to study at 18 can be difficult for many reasons. I'm sorry to hear about the experiences of some, especially the female engineering student. My son (comp 11-16, grammar 6th form) has just finished 4 wonderful years studying Maths at Oxford (Wadham) together with a female friend of his from the same schools who read Engineering.

[magwich2]

Just got back from holiday and logged on - what exactly do you mean by 'prejudice" please?

[sherry_d]

Come now. I think these young people have to toughen up a bit. To scuttle away from a great education because you think people aren't friendly enough is a whopping great chip on the shoulder that it would make sense to overcome.

+1

In find it bizarre that a child would drop off or be put off simply because there are more stiff neck collars than they are used to. If a child can't hack that than then perhaps they shouldn't be at Oxford. The world is a bigger place and we need people who are more broad minded, if one can easily get intimidated by those of different background then they have a narrow view of the world and its not up to Oxford to sort that out.

[Daogroupie]

I used to think like that, until it happened to me, once at university and once living in another country where the values of the people surrounding me were different from my own. It is hard to hold onto who you are when everyone else seems different. One of the students I know won a place at a semi selective school and competed for sport places when at the school and then won the place at Oxford, she is hardly a shrinking violet. DG

[workhard]

It takes all sorts to make our world. ... And better happy elsewhere than miserable at a particular university, however prestigious.

My cousin won a place for an MSc at a US uni, a very expensive commitment for his family. He was so very unhappy that he eventually had a long meeting with his Dad in an airport lounge at a halfway point. They finally agreed and, back home, he became his old cheerful, bouncy self again, got his MSc and never looked back.

My cousin was so different in outlook, values and instincts from almost everyone else that he realised he had made a mistake. In this case, it was more personal values and behavioural standards - 'culture' really - rather than race as such, although it was part of the mix.

WH

[magwich2]

Miss Magwich is at Oxford at one of the reputedly "posh" colleges - the one attended by George Osborne in whose bed she has been sleeping this year!
Her fellow students are a completely mixed bunch - many have parents who are teachers, some have been to private school or comps but the largest group have been to grammar schools - much as one might expect when they have all been selected for their academic abilities.
The main differences between them are not based on snobbery or class but on which of them are sluts/man-whores and which have some morals and which of them work and go clubbing as opposed to those who blag their way through work, have an expensive weed habit and spend much of their day in a darkened room watching rubbish on you tube.
Many of the guys are completely sexist and are never likely to turn into the nicest of people but then many of the girls encourage their behaviour - it has nothing to do with class or snobbery.
I and she imagine that many universities are far worse in the above respects and it is nothing unique to Oxford.

[Fran17]

I spent some time in the week with my friend and her lovely daughter who is just about to go into her third year at Cambridge. Remembering the related posts on here I asked her a few questions. She absolutely loves it there. She said it has been challenging and she has worked extremely hard. She said she has not encountered any snobbery or bullying and has found a lovely group of friends with whom she spends most of her time. I also saw my God daughter whose boyfriend left Oxford a couple of years ago. He gave me very similar answers.

It seems to me they have encountered a good mix of people. They have obviously gravitated to the people who share their values and interests and stayed away from the people they would prefer not to mix with. I think that is life isn't it? School, Uni, work, the dreaded school gate. We choose who we would like to spend time with and who we would like to avoid.