Coping with disappointing results

[Latetothegame]

Ds is hoping for a place at Marling.He found the test quite hard and timing was an issue so not feeling too hopeful. We have been chatting a lot about alternative schools and how if he doesn't get in, it wasn't meant to be. But although I will be bright and show no disappointment, I know I'm going to find it hard not to be sad in private, as he is so desperately wants to go. Is there any point in appealing down the line if he doesn't qualify? Just want to be prepared for worse case scenario. 8 boys want to go in his year so that alone is going to be hard if his best friend gets in and he doesn't. He is a very shy and calm boy so know he will deal with ok but just want to soften the blow. How do you break it to them that that haven't done well? I know all his friends will be talking about their ranking.

[cazien]

It is a horrible situation to be in (I had one twin qualify the other didn't), but if you don't have the news you hoped for, congratulate him on trying, tell him you are proud of him, be positive if you are going to look around other schools and assure him whatever school he chooses he will do well at. Take him out for a meal tomorrow.

Down the line, if you have good academic evidence of ability then yes appeal - you have nothing to lose.

It will be tough, but tell him to be pleased for his mates - likewise if he is successful and they are not, have empathy. There are only a certain number of places and many applicants - they all can't be successful. Don't make it a situation where "he hasn't done well", it is just a scenario where others did better.

Good luck!

[stroudydad]

Latetothegame - you seem to be in similar situation to us. DS desperately want to go to Marling, spurred on by the fact that his 2 older siblings are at Marling/SHS.
We were lucky with DS1 and DD in that they were both ranked for Pates but actually wanted Marling and SHS so we were comfortable that come march they would be ok.
DS2 sat it this year and is easily as able as the older 2 but is not yet suited to being forced to work at a pace other than his own..

[MountainDweller]

DS also desperately wants to be at Marling with his brother.....no idea why, they argue most of the time!

I'm both dreading and looking forward to tomorrow.

[stroudydad]

And we are just 3 of the 700 or so...

[72purples]

Hopefully we will all be back on here tomorrow night, with happy children!
My son is confident with his exam ...... But how can a 10yr old know??
Really hope he won't be disappointed
Plan B is not a good one
Good luck everyone xx

[steppemum]

I think it gets harder with younger siblings too, as they have seen their older brothers and sisters pass.

I don't have one sitting this year, but still one more to go!
We spend a lot of time ahead of the exam talking about how lucky they are to have 2 good schools to chose from, SHS and Farmors (our non grammar choice). We talk about the positives of both schools and talk about giving it your best shot, and if you don't make it, then you still have a good school, and you know that you did your best, and can be proud of yourself.

That worked well for ds and dd1, until results came through and then I realised that dd1 REALLY REALLY wanted to go to SHS and was trying to be laid back for my sake!